creating my history

Just so you all know - I have just had an email from Billie - she is ok and still with us. I have been talking with her on the phone over the last two days and she has been really down and hit much harder than she ever thought. I totally empathise with her but we have found a real connection between us so I will try and make sure I'm there for her. She is desperately sad but ok.

Good, make sure she is well taken care of. Thank you for the update.
 
I am here at almost 1am on 6th Sept So so sos sorry for worrying u all
I asked my sion in law a new member Dangerous Dave to mail Gaz...............saying soz I am ok.:-(

It was a combination of things.................reading posts such as ''was Michael happy?'' etc.............and then stupidly had ''stranger in Moscow'' on my ipod................:-(
I actually was at my kitchen sink in the moonlight with knife in my hand scratching surface of my left wrist in vertical lines..................note in pocket of dressing gown.........

BUT ''smile'' though your heart is aching/ breaking came on..........hope for another tomorrow.........................that saved me

Thaks and soz.

My daughter would not like MJ if I ended my life cos of him..........so have to keep movin and spreading his message and legacy...........................
 
I am here at almost 1am on 6th Sept So so sos sorry for worrying u all
I asked my sion in law a new member Dangerous Dave to mail Gaz...............saying soz I am ok.:-(

It was a combination of things.................reading posts such as ''was Michael happy?'' etc.............and then stupidly had ''stranger in Moscow'' on my ipod................:-(
I actually was at my kitchen sink in the moonlight with knife in my hand scratching surface of my left wrist in vertical lines..................note in pocket of dressing gown.........

BUT ''smile'' though your heart is aching/ breaking came on..........hope for another tomorrow.........................that saved me

Thaks and soz.

My daughter would not like MJ if I ended my life cos of him..........so have to keep movin and spreading his message and legacy...........................

Thank God you are back :)
We are here if you need us ;)
 
Glad to see that you are okay. Please let me know if you need to talk I am just a pm away.
 
I'm glad that you'r ok. You know we're here for you, always, whenever you need to talk, we'll be here.
Sending lots of big hugs to you :hug: xxx
 
Brilliant to hear your okay!! I'm 16 and I may not have had as much time as everyone to really follow MJ... But I feel like each and everyone of us are now "smaller" Michael's.. out to spread his word and legacy. Right now I no longer feel sad about his death.. Well of course I do.. (its hard to explain!!) but now when I hear his music I can now smile and remembee why he is special to me!!
 
cant take any more am going to be with mj

I am glad you are ok. Michael would not want us to think like that. I know it is very hard I can't stop crying myself and I like many others feel empty without him here but Michael loved life and wouldn't want us to do this. We must be strong for him and help keep his legacy alive.

Julia
 
I am here at almost 1am on 6th Sept So so sos sorry for worrying u all
I asked my sion in law a new member Dangerous Dave to mail Gaz...............saying soz I am ok.:-(

It was a combination of things.................reading posts such as ''was Michael happy?'' etc.............and then stupidly had ''stranger in Moscow'' on my ipod................:-(
I actually was at my kitchen sink in the moonlight with knife in my hand scratching surface of my left wrist in vertical lines..................note in pocket of dressing gown.........

BUT ''smile'' though your heart is aching/ breaking came on..........hope for another tomorrow.........................that saved me

Thaks and soz.

My daughter would not like MJ if I ended my life cos of him..........so have to keep movin and spreading his message and legacy...........................

June 26th I was almost gone. I had the flu really bad, temp was 103 and the news about Michael just about killed me. Took stuff without thinking.. I passed out I had a out of body experience.. I saw white lights and someone told me go back its not your time yet. That gave me hope that there is life after this. Ever since then Ive been trying to be strong.. I've had some very terrible days just like you Jenny :(
Its all very surreal and disturbing.

Even though Stranger in Moscow is my favorite song I cannot listen to it. That one is most painful for me and would probably push me over the edge :no: :cry:

I can only listen to happy songs like Smile and try to be strong for Michael..
I will do my best to make him proud!
 
I'm glad you are okay too - wouldn't do for me to lose a mate I've only just found!!!! lol There are lovely people on here who are here when you need support xx
 
Glad to see you're here with us BJ, thank you for finding the courage to fight! Your daughter needs you and we need you aswell. I know times are tough right now, but you have the strenght to fight your way through it. Im very proud of you for getting this far already, well done :yes:

Just know that we are here for you, you can always PM. And if the light fades at the end of that tunnel, perhaps you can seek professional help to make that light shine brighter again.

We are all here to help eachother through this. Hang in there :better:
 
Thank god you are here Billie :huggy: :huggy:



Just so you all know - I have just had an email from Billie - she is ok and still with us. I have been talking with her on the phone over the last two days and she has been really down and hit much harder than she ever thought. I totally empathise with her but we have found a real connection between us so I will try and make sure I'm there for her. She is desperately sad but ok.

That is real kind of you to do that Diane :hug:
 
Oh my God. :(

I know hard this is. Please don't do anything. Keep strong!
 
Michael love us and he wants us to live for him, to continue on his legacy and continue his work to heal the world. I believe we will all be together again in heaven someday, but to be in heaven, you know that you must not every take your own life or anyone else. Weather we all turn to dust in the end or end up in another world or realm, I don't know. But I like to believe in the better option.

BillieJean, you are not alone in this, there is so many of us that is going through the same. We need to stay strong for him. We need to make him proud. Just stay with us. We are always there for you.
 
Billie_Jean, thanks for your PM! I'm so glad you are ok. Just keep talking to us? I know what you mean about Stranger in Moscow. I can't listen to it, either. There's a lot I can't listen to. I hope that passes in time, and I can find the joy again?

peace,

Victoria
 
Jen, I'm so glad you're doing better! You know you can PM me if you ever need to. :better: Keep the faith xx
 
I appreciate you all so so much :)
Thanks for all ur support!
I am now going to ask mods to remove this as I am ok now. almost 3 months on............I cried for my mum for 3 months solid after she passed.......... MJ almost the same time span.......???
love u all and thanks again............tick tock read quickly as requesting removal :)
 
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