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a friend just told me mourning Michael is unhealthy!

mjlovergurl003

mjlovergurl003

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I hope this is the right place to post this bc im kinda confused as to where to post anything. lol anyways like all of you i have been mourning michael since he passed and ive done pretty much all i can to try and express how i feel. So i started not only comming here but posting a couple blogs on my myspace. I have only posted 2 about Michael. i also mentioned him in my about me after he passed and added some songs to my playlist that im trying to get to play on my page. anyways i posted one blog the day he died and another the day of his funeral. Now ive been a fan since i was little and michael ment alot to me. over the years my friends who i met in middle school havent really been the most understanding and supportive with my adirmation for Michael. basically they have said some very hurtful things about him in front of me and never once said they were sorry. yeah that really hurt. not to mention just days after he passed i got a really cruel email from another friend chewing me out about michael and afterwards left with a extremly cruel joke. i wont post it bc its just wrong.


anyways heres my blog from the day of the funeral.

This Blog is being deadicated to the Memory of the Greatest Entertainer and Musican to ever Live. Michael Jackson.


Today is the Day that Michael is finally being layed to rest at Forest Lawn Memorial Cementary in LA. Its been a long time comming and we all knew it would but now that its here it makes it all so real and so final. Michael ment so much to so many that his loss is beyond devestating.

I know some people dont understand why us fans are mourning the way we are so until you all know what it feels like to loose someone you grew up listening to and admiring your whole life or even for 3 decades then maybe you know what it feels like. We are not the only ones mourning. Many people still mourn the losses of Elvis, and John Lennon. Infact Elvis fans travel for miles and miles away till this day to honor him on his birthday over 30 years after his death and yet no one saids a word about that but when it comes to Michael's fans we are crazy. well if being a Mj fan makes me crazy then Im proud to be crazy!


Michael's music was amazing. he always expressed a certain side to him that he was never afraid to show. he showed alot of passion and heart in his music and that was one of the many things that made him a legend.

If you listen to any of the Jackson 5 songs to now you will know what kind of person he was. He expressed himself through his music. He showed and expressed every side of him in each and everyone of his songs. His innocence in songs like abc, ben, music in me, and childhood. His sexy side in songs like Dirty Diana, In the Closet, and The way you make me feel.His romantic side in the girl is mine, she's out my life, PYT (pretty young thing), and also his angry side in scream, leave me alone, and Bad.

But besides all that Michael was a loving caring human being who was so misunderstood and ridiculed for every move he made and everyword he said. No matter what he did people attacked him. How would it make you feel if that was you? I dout anyone would like to know what it felt like to read in every magazine about how weird you were, being called a freak, or ***** *****. doesnt sound like fun now does it? Think about how that made Michael feel everyday. Why do people think he was the way he was.

Michael was a amazing performer and icon. Say what you want about him. he did so much for music. More then anyone eles in history. He was the 1st ever Black artist to have a video played on MTV. He broke racial barriars with Billie Jean and made history when he did the moonwalk for the 1st time on Motown 25. Michael set trends from the white glove, to the red leather jackson he wore in Beat It. He touched so many people that he will always be rememered for it all.

Yeah we all know Michael had alot of different looks from all the plastic surgery and the so called "skin bleaching" people say he did. Well Michael did NOT bleach his skin. He had a skin disease called Vitilago which causes skin discoloration and he was perscribed a cream by the now famous Dr. Klien to help with skin blotches and it ended up discoloring his skin and gave him the appearence of a white man. He could not help that. As for the surgeries he did it all because he didnt want to look like his father.his family teased him because he had a big nose. All that really did a number on him so he just wanted to change it. Maybe he went too far but how can anyone blame him?

Whatever you may think about Michael you cant deny how important he was to music and that without Michael there would be no Usher, Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears. They owe alot to Michael. Everyone does if you ask me. Michael will always live on and i dont care what anyone says I will ALWAYS mourn Michael. I loved him and i will always love him.

Before i leave i just want to say Michael I love you. I miss you so much and i will always remember you for what you have done with your music and what you have done for your fans. We will always continue to fight for you. We will always love you and keep your legacy alive. GoodBye Michael. Rest In Peace Our King.


and now here is the E-mail i got on Myspace from my friend.

Shawn,

I'm worried about you. You seem to be really really focused on this Michael Jackson thing. I know he was important to you but I think you need to let go and move on. I think you are taking it too far. He's been gone since June. You said that you would delete anyone from your myspace who said something bad about him. The fact that you said you would not be friends with someone anymore just because they said something about a celeberity that you have never met is not healthy. I have celeberties that I like but I would never delete them just because they said something bad about a favorite singer. There is so much more to the world than celeberties and I think it would help you to get out of the house more. Come to the baby shower with me tommorow, I think it would do you some good.


I dont know what to even say really except that im NOT going to respond to this bc I still have my pride and i personaly im sick of my friends attacking me about Michael. so just wanted to share this and get some of your opinons on this and what not. Thanks.
 
mjlovergurl003 said:
I hope this is the right place to post this bc im kinda confused as to where to post anything. lol anyways like all of you i have been mourning michael since he passed and ive done pretty much all i can to try and express how i feel. So i started not only comming here but posting a couple blogs on my myspace. I have only posted 2 about Michael. i also mentioned him in my about me after he passed and added some songs to my playlist that im trying to get to play on my page. anyways i posted one blog the day he died and another the day of his funeral. Now ive been a fan since i was little and michael ment alot to me. over the years my friends who i met in middle school havent really been the most understanding and supportive with my adirmation for Michael. basically they have said some very hurtful things about him in front of me and never once said they were sorry. yeah that really hurt. not to mention just days after he passed i got a really cruel email from another friend chewing me out about michael and afterwards left with a extremly cruel joke. i wont post it bc its just wrong.


anyways heres my blog from the day of the funeral.

This Blog is being deadicated to the Memory of the Greatest Entertainer and Musican to ever Live. Michael Jackson.


Today is the Day that Michael is finally being layed to rest at Forest Lawn Memorial Cementary in LA. Its been a long time comming and we all knew it would but now that its here it makes it all so real and so final. Michael ment so much to so many that his loss is beyond devestating.

I know some people dont understand why us fans are mourning the way we are so until you all know what it feels like to loose someone you grew up listening to and admiring your whole life or even for 3 decades then maybe you know what it feels like. We are not the only ones mourning. Many people still mourn the losses of Elvis, and John Lennon. Infact Elvis fans travel for miles and miles away till this day to honor him on his birthday over 30 years after his death and yet no one saids a word about that but when it comes to Michael's fans we are crazy. well if being a Mj fan makes me crazy then Im proud to be crazy!


Michael's music was amazing. he always expressed a certain side to him that he was never afraid to show. he showed alot of passion and heart in his music and that was one of the many things that made him a legend.

If you listen to any of the Jackson 5 songs to now you will know what kind of person he was. He expressed himself through his music. He showed and expressed every side of him in each and everyone of his songs. His innocence in songs like abc, ben, music in me, and childhood. His sexy side in songs like Dirty Diana, In the Closet, and The way you make me feel.His romantic side in the girl is mine, she's out my life, PYT (pretty young thing), and also his angry side in scream, leave me alone, and Bad.

But besides all that Michael was a loving caring human being who was so misunderstood and ridiculed for every move he made and everyword he said. No matter what he did people attacked him. How would it make you feel if that was you? I dout anyone would like to know what it felt like to read in every magazine about how weird you were, being called a freak, or ***** *****. doesnt sound like fun now does it? Think about how that made Michael feel everyday. Why do people think he was the way he was.

Michael was a amazing performer and icon. Say what you want about him. he did so much for music. More then anyone eles in history. He was the 1st ever Black artist to have a video played on MTV. He broke racial barriars with Billie Jean and made history when he did the moonwalk for the 1st time on Motown 25. Michael set trends from the white glove, to the red leather jackson he wore in Beat It. He touched so many people that he will always be rememered for it all.

Yeah we all know Michael had alot of different looks from all the plastic surgery and the so called "skin bleaching" people say he did. Well Michael did NOT bleach his skin. He had a skin disease called Vitilago which causes skin discoloration and he was perscribed a cream by the now famous Dr. Klien to help with skin blotches and it ended up discoloring his skin and gave him the appearence of a white man. He could not help that. As for the surgeries he did it all because he didnt want to look like his father.his family teased him because he had a big nose. All that really did a number on him so he just wanted to change it. Maybe he went too far but how can anyone blame him?

Whatever you may think about Michael you cant deny how important he was to music and that without Michael there would be no Usher, Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears. They owe alot to Michael. Everyone does if you ask me. Michael will always live on and i dont care what anyone says I will ALWAYS mourn Michael. I loved him and i will always love him.

Before i leave i just want to say Michael I love you. I miss you so much and i will always remember you for what you have done with your music and what you have done for your fans. We will always continue to fight for you. We will always love you and keep your legacy alive. GoodBye Michael. Rest In Peace Our King.


and now here is the E-mail i got on Myspace from my friend.

Shawn,

I'm worried about you. You seem to be really really focused on this Michael Jackson thing. I know he was important to you but I think you need to let go and move on. I think you are taking it too far. He's been gone since June. You said that you would delete anyone from your myspace who said something bad about him. The fact that you said you would not be friends with someone anymore just because they said something about a celeberity that you have never met is not healthy. I have celeberties that I like but I would never delete them just because they said something bad about a favorite singer. There is so much more to the world than celeberties and I think it would help you to get out of the house more. Come to the baby shower with me tommorow, I think it would do you some good.


I dont know what to even say really except that im NOT going to respond to this bc I still have my pride and i personaly im sick of my friends attacking me about Michael. so just wanted to share this and get some of your opinons on this and what not. Thanks.
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Ignore it, don't give her the time of day. I wouldn't "validate" anything by defending anything to her. Useless.
You mourn, you mourn. The unhealthy thing to do is telling other people what "appropriate" grief is. On the other hand this shows you who has a kind soul and who just doesn't.
 
The problem is people think that liking Michael is just like liking any other celebrity. Michael is and will always be special to us, we can't change that. However you need to go out with friends and enjoy life more, so I agree with her on that one. Don't drown yourself into despair, that's not good. Also you don't have to express your feelings about Michael to every body, especially people who don't understand. I only talk about Michael to my mother, and that's because she's a fan, other people wouldn't see it reasonable.
 
ignore it. grieving for someone you feel close to is not unhealthy. I think we'll all let go of Michael at some point, all in our own time, just not now. it's too new and it hurts too much to let go right now.

but it'll happen. until then, just ignore the people who're saying stuff like this to you. they don't get it now, and they never will.

hugs...
indrani.
 
thing is i only talk about mj here and with my mom i havent even talked to her about michael at all she emailed me about it just out of the blue. the blog was ment for other mj fans and i even said in the bullentons i posted which what she responed to so for some reason she felt the need to email me and say what she did. i try and get out more but my friends run on schedules and alot of the time things are planned out and sometimes i just cant make it bc i have other things to do and it all just comes at a bad time. Im not going to say anything to her. its not worth it anymore.
 
mjlovergurl003 said:
thing is i only talk about mj here and with my mom i havent even talked to her about michael at all she emailed me about it just out of the blue. the blog was ment for other mj fans and i even said in the bullentons i posted which what she responed to so for some reason she felt the need to email me and say what she did. i try and get out more but my friends run on schedules and alot of the time things are planned out and sometimes i just cant make it bc i have other things to do and it all just comes at a bad time. Im not going to say anything to her. its not worth it anymore.
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Yea just let her be. I know schedules are difficult, since everybody works, goes to school, or whatever. You don't necessarily have to go out with friends all the time though, you can still enjoy by doing things on your own.
 
lovelymj said:
The problem is people think that liking Michael is just like liking any other celebrity. Michael is and will always be special to us, we can't change that. However you need to go out with friends and enjoy life more, so I agree with her on that one. Don't drown yourself into despair, that's not good. Also you don't have to express your feelings about Michael to every body, especially people who don't understand. I only talk about Michael to my mother, and that's because she's a fan, other people wouldn't see it reasonable.
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agree with 100% everything

well, except my mother ... she pretty much feels like your friend and has for a looooong time lol but I don't care

I have as many friends as I've ever had and go to as many places as I ever did and all that.

How you feel is how you feel...

Maybe instead of threatening to kick them off, you could make a simple statement of request acknowledging that you realize not everyone share's the same feelings and concerns about all of the same things, but that you respectfully request that they be kind enough to respect yours ..
 
What's 'unhealthy' is not letting it all out when it hurts.
Some people need to realise that we're all different, and what matters to some, might not matter to others.
Do not pay attention hun, be like Michael - people kept telling him throughout his life what he should do and be, and he always just went with what felt right in his heart and stayed true to himself.
Hang in there! There are millions of people in the world that feel exactly the same way as you do. So chin up!

xxx
 
you could set up a Michael myspace just for fans?

I've had coworkers attack me that I thought were my friends. I took them off my list right away. Michael is a part of me. And I feel if someone attacks him, they attack me. Therefore I cant be friends with anyone that disrespects that part of me.
 
I agree with some the things said here. My friend said that i shouldn't get too wrapped up in Michael Jackson. Well i'm always gonna like him and his music no matter what people say or do. Think best thing to do is to ignore people, they'll prob soon get bored. I no longer talk to certain people about MJ anymore, will only talk to them if they have anything positive to say about him.
 
exactly what my dad said so me...he was like "when r u gonna stop obsessing over michael jackson, its really wierd!!" and it just hurt me when he said that =( like i'm mourning for some wierdo...
 
thanks. i understand that she seems to be worried about me but i hardly talk to her that much anymore. so for her to think im taking this too far is yeah offensive to me. My friends havent been the kindest people in the world when it came to Michael. I just let it all go and didnt say much when they would talk about him bc i a bit scared. but at ome point i did tell them to F**k off in high school when they talked about him said they wished he would die bc they got sick of hearing about him. that really pissed me off. then we got in to a fight over something and i dont remmeber what but i know mj was one of the reasons and i had to appologise and they didnt. they never once said they were sorry to me about Michael. so yeah i 've held a grudge over that since.

After mj really did die though i didnt really talk about it that much expect on a blog and i couple times through facebook which yeah i said something that was kinda hard i guess but i was just not in a good mood and very upset he had just died. then i got a email from a so called friend chewing me out about mj and yeah i lost it then. but since i have just kept quite and came here alot to talk to other fans. which has really helped. i dont understand why im being told that my grieving for him is unhealthy. Im doing just fine right now. Michael came 1st in my life and if i had to i would choose him over my so called friends right now bc they just never seemed to respect me for being a mj fan.when they attack michael they attack me bc michael was been a part of my life since i was little and his music was what go me through times that were very hard.

when i said i was going to delete comments and ppl from myspace i said that because i just didnt want anyone to speak bad about him bc he's passed. plus its my choice and my page so i can do whatever i want with. most of the ppl on there are strangers anyways so why should she care about who i delete and who i dont. i just dont want to be told how i should feel or how i should just move on. im trying to and its hard but im getting there and i mean it when i say that im always going to mourn michael.
 
Hi, :better:

I think a lot of us are experiencing similar things and it's very hurtful to deal with. For me personally, as long as comments are not rude or derogatory to Michael, I just try to take the positive and believe that the person saying it is simply being caring and concerned, but does not understand nor never will, no matter what you say to them.

I thank them for their concern as it means a lot to me, but tell them to not waste their time worrying about me as I am fine, just sad because someone I care about has passed away and that I am sure they can understand that - even if they do not feel the same way.

I think what adds to our pain is the fact that he was so misunderstood and wrongly portrayed by the media, so it feels so much more important to tell the world what we know about him, trouble is - so many people are not bothered about it and just find it tiresome...which of course is hard for us to comprehend!

Keep saying what you need to say, it is a free world after all and if people don't want to hear, they can ignore it.

I've only deleted one 'friend' off facebook as they were constantly saying disgusting things on their status about Mike. Most of the others don't respond to things I say, I presume they have no comment or just choose to keep it to themselves out of respect to my feelings. A few others have said some things but I have managed to silence them with a few links! One now has changed their mind and the others have gone away!
 
It's not unhealthy.... It's actually healthy because it helps us move on with our grief.

You know what I do to avoid something like that?

I dont talk about Michael with other people unless that I know that they are fans. My parents and my brother knows that I'm a loyal Mj fan but I dont bother them about my grief because they dont understand. However in youtube and in here, I can talk about Michael and try to move on. Besides if anyone says anything bad about Mike in front of me, I might actually slap them. HAHAH LOLS!
 
I agree with some of the stuff that was said here. And you should go out with your friends. At least your lucky you got friends to go out with. I don't have that option. The only friends that I have where I live is just me, my cat, and my stuffed animals. Where I live no one wants to be friends with a Michael Jackson fan. And as for my family they are some of the most biggest MJ haters you would ever want to meet. My mother has already threatened to have me committed. If I didn't get over Michael's death in 2 weeks. So I am totally alone when it comes to mourning over Michael.
 
Im sorry to hear that. Thats just really sad that your family is that insencetive about you and mj. my heart goes out to you. I do go out with my friends as much as i can but they make the plans and i just go along for the ride.My friends have their own lives now my friend who i made this thread about just got married this summer to her long time boyfriend since middle school so making plans is just not going to happen that often and saldy i have lost contact with other friends i had and another friend of mine moved away again and didnt even say good bye or leave any way to contact her which sucks.

but moving on...I really dont talk about Mj to my friends. I did talk about him to at least two of my other friends Loni and Jessica and as it turns out Jessica is a Mj fan so she understood. Loni i had to talk to her about him bc i had to clear the air about something and i just felt like i needed to say something and she was understanding to say the least. Its really hard bc i dont have that many people to talk to about this and it sucks. Its hard going through this and not having a live person to talk to. so i spend alot of time online talking to other ppl who have shown me alot of compashion which is really nice.

I know it seems like some of you are alone but just remmeber we are in this together and just bc you say you dont have any fans around you and your shunned bc your a mj fan doesnt always mean your really alone. if people are going treat you like crap bc if it then just ingore them and dont give them a reason to make it harder on you. Im not letting my friends get to me anymore bc i know I dont deserve that treatment and neither do any of you. if your family makes you feel like your crazy then just tell them how you feel and if they cant take it then what kind of family are they? Michael may not be with us anymore but he is still alive in our hearts and just do what he would do. hope that helps some.
 
They just can't understand!
cause MJ fans are differant!

They are right!
for them their favorite singer is just celebrity,
they love him/her, listen their songs,
but tomorrow if something bad happans to them like they can't perform or
have personal problems,
they'll leave them withouit any hesitation!

but michaels fans are different, he is not celebrity for us, he is family!
Personally I never cared about if he performed or sang
i just loved him as my very close person, not as a singer!
he has never been for me just a singer, he was my family member!

so i can undersand why they find this very weird,
if you did not know michael, you can't imagine how celebrity could be loved so deeply!

Michael is different, so MJ fans are different too!
 
mjlovergurl003 said:
and now here is the E-mail i got on Myspace from my friend.

Shawn,

I'm worried about you. You seem to be really really focused on this Michael Jackson thing. I know he was important to you but I think you need to let go and move on. I think you are taking it too far. He's been gone since June. You said that you would delete anyone from your myspace who said something bad about him. The fact that you said you would not be friends with someone anymore just because they said something about a celeberity that you have never met is not healthy. I have celeberties that I like but I would never delete them just because they said something bad about a favorite singer. There is so much more to the world than celeberties and I think it would help you to get out of the house more. Come to the baby shower with me tommorow, I think it would do you some good.
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Okay, first of all: someone teach your friend how to spell "celebrity". :doh:
Second, who the hell does this person think they are? Telling someone how to feel, act or behave is not healthy. Mourning someone as special as Michael,shows that you understood that he was not 'just' another human being....this is a person who influenced not only the music business, but LIFE in general a great deal. Michael Jackson is up there with names like Albert Einstein, Elvis Presley, John F Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Mother Theresa, The Beatles, Ghandi, and so on. What would the world be like without these people? .......but besides that; you have a right to be sad no matter WHO dies.

Ignore this person. Seriously. Friend? No. Dumbass? Yes. Sorry!
 
no offence taken. lol I havent spoken to her about it and i dont plan to. im sick and tired of the non stop disrespect i get from them. it started hight school, and started back up when the trial began, and now after he dies. I dont know what to even do anymore. to take a stand and tell them to shut up, leave me alone, and f**k off which what i wanna do bc ive had it and ive been putting at all aside as much as i can for years. But Im not. i should but im not. Im not going to give her responce bc i know she wants one. well sorry she's not going to get it. Michael was so much more then some singer. He was right up there heroes and activists like Martin Luther King, Gandi, JKF, Elvis, and even Princess Diana bc just like her he deadicated himself to charties all over the world and created his own foundation and did everything in his power to help children. No one will ever understand why he is so important to us and i just wish they would. but even if they never od then fine. they are the true crazies.
 
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ugh! totally ignore it. When ur ready to go out you will. I am moving along in life but that doesn't mean i haven't stopped thinking about him. After he died i cried for two-3 weeks straight. I didn't cry ALL DAY, but i did cry everyday. And when i say crying i mean CRYING. like out of nowhere i would burst into tears and let it all out. No one ever saw me cry, nor have i told anyone. My mom and sis saw me cry during the memorial and the BET awards. But never once did i allow them or did they see me cry my eyes and heart out. I vowed never to let anyone see me because people would think i'm crazy etc, and i really don't want that kind of attention.People would have thought i was nuts because i "didn't know him", and because, i've always been a fan, but because i was born in 1991 and being raised during the 2000's my interest for michael died down as his fame did. After all, i was a little girl. But when he died i started recalling all my childhood memories and well, it hit me. And i think what hurts the most is knowing that he was alone when he mostly needed people in his life. He was treated unfairly, sort of like christ. I'm not comparing him to Christ, but he did received the same exact treatment. So, i turned to here to mourn with others that understood the pain i felt over his loss.

Now, because i didn't allow anyone to see me cry or hurt people outside of this forum assumed i was fine. Which is tough because i was like living a double life. I still went out and stuff with my family and friends but NEVER once did i stop thinking about Michael. I prayed many times that this was all a dream, or that maybe i can built a time machine and warn him about June 25th.

Because i know what is to suffer hidden from the world i'm telling you to ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. Mourn as much as you want, when your ready you will move along in life. Those who are criticizing you for it are not your true friends, IMO. I was miserable because i wasn't able to express how i really felt. You have enough courage to post it in blogs and not give a dam what others think. and i truly admire you for this.

And trust me, one can never just "forget it" and move along. Michael means so much more to us that its impossible to just leave his memory and legacy behind. Everywhere we go we are going to be constantly reminded of him. But yes, the day will come where you will "move along", meaning that yes, life does go on and so will you, but you will never forget about Michael.

If it helps, when you leave your house look up at the sky and smile =), he is watching. When you hear his song, see a kid with a single glove, see his poster somewhere, smile. It'll help you move along easier, it has definitely helped me. And as for your friends, they are going to have to be patient.

=)
 
Thanks and i agree. I have cryed alot to and kept it from everyone around me. I just cried alone in my room whenever i saw him on tv or heard a song. I cried so hard during the memorial. the pain was just so real. the funeral i just bawled and bawled. i couldnt stop crying. I have been doing better with the crying but i have my moments like lastnight during the VMA's i cried during Madonna's speech and after Janet's performance bc she looked like she was wanted to cry after and that made me wanna cry. MIchael just ment so much to me. I love him with my all heart and moving will happen at some point i hope but its hard and im trying to get there.

I have gone out with friends since. hell after Michael died that next month i had to go out of town to my friends wedding and spend a whole weekend doing that. not to mention her wedding reception back home. but on that night i saw a shooting star and i Michael immediatly crossed my mind. I always look at the sky just knowing Michael is watching and it comforts me alot knowing he is still with us even if his body isnt.

Thanks im glad that my blogs and my courage that i have helped you. i didnt even think i had that much. lol writting my last blog helped bc i finally said what i needed to say. the 1st one was more anger and saddess but the last one was more sincere and heartfelt i though. Me saying that was kicking ppl off myspace for saying anything bad was my choice and i dont give a rats ass what my friend thinks. none of my friends have understood me and dont get why i love michael and how much he ment to me. i can say it all till im blue in the face and they still would think im a nutcase.

Honestly i could care less what my friends think or have to say. Shame on them for being so heartless and thinking im crazy. This is just how Iam and how im handling Michael's passing and if they cant handle that then tough sh*t. Michael ment so much to all of us and its sad that people are seeing just how amazing he was. I wish they would have seen that more when he was alive.
 
I just got from it that she was concerned about you. Yes she doesn't understand your love for Michael and hasn't really got how much he means to you. But, she seems to care about you enough to message you and try and get you to go out. I don't think you should cut her out of your life altogether, maybe just leave space between you two until you feel a bit better about this whole crappy situation with Michael. *hugs*
 
maybe. i dont want to cut her out bc if i do she will just find every reason to try make me out to be the bad guy like im acting like a big baby and being immature and just out right wrong. so im just not paying any attention bc im just so sick of it. i know she is showing concern and i showed the message to my mom and she though she was right about what she was saying and i just though it was offensive bc she just doesnt get it and never has. my friends have never been nice to me about michael. ever. i dont even talk about him to them at all bc i know they will just say horrible things and i will just get super pissed and want to say something but just wont out of fear bc thats just how it is with them. I know they would eat their words if anything happened to any of their idols. they just dont seem to understand why im sad about michael and why im even a fan. explaining it to them is a waste of time so i just dont even want to waste my breath.
 
I don't think it's unhealthy either. I mean, if the person who died was someone that you felt close to and that held a special place in your heart, of course you're going to mourn! The best thing to do would just be to ignore it and let people have their opinions, no matter if they understand you or not. It's their mindset and their problem. I don't talk to anyone about me still mourning his death because they would just think I'm silly and sometimes it is just a waste of time if they are never going to understand.
I deleted one person off of my myspace the day he died because she was constantly posting bulletins the whole day with horrible jokes about him. THE DAY HE DIED! Just ugh, some people are so disrespectful. I'm glad I deleted her, I wasn't close to her anyway.
 
ive been ingoring it and i will continue to ingore it. I did feel close to Michael like all of you did and he ment the world to me and im getting pretty annoyed and at how im being told i should stop mourning him or just get over it and move on. yeah well not gonna happen. Michael was so speacial. he had a arora about him that filled a room with such joy and love. he was so kind and loving that he did everything he could to make everyone around feel better with just a smile or a song.

After Michael died i decided that i wasnt gonna let anyone say anything bad about him and get away with it. but if course ive been to upset and distressed to really do anything like i wanted. as much as i would like to tell my friends who have been so cruel to michael in the past and now to go to hell im willing to just take the high road and make them look stupid. i know michael would want me to just ingore it and not let it get to me and im trying. but when its ppl your supposed to trust and count on its hard. very very hard. but im trying. deleting ppl on myspace or anything like that is not harsh at all. if they say anything bad about mj their gone. peroid. if my friends dont like that and think its "unhealthy" then tough shit. i dont care. my page, my choice. Im glad to know i have this place to go to to express how i feel. its very comforting. im glad to help anyone feel better as well.
 
ignore him/her
i've suffered enough
because ALOT of people were telling me things like your friend told you
,,it's not unhealthy
,,i hate the people who hate him for no reason
may they burn in hell.....
 
MySerenity5 said:
I dont talk about Michael with other people unless that I know that they are fans. My parents and my brother knows that I'm a loyal Mj fan but I dont bother them about my grief because they dont understand. However in youtube and in here, I can talk about Michael and try to move on.
Click to expand...

Exactly.

I have a friend who is a "crazed" comic book collector. He can give you date, time and the first episode for any superhero created, and can talk endlessly about them...and these are FICTIONAL characters.

We all have our own interests. I can't understand the extent of his fascination with these fictional superheroes at all, and he would never be able to understand mine with this real music superhero.

He doesn't try to make me understand, and I don't try to make him understand.

I love Michael Jackson, always have, always will, am still grieving, and I'm not letting anyone add to my grief by not understanding.
 
It is perfectly natural for people to mourn the death of someone of Michael Jackson's magnitude. Especially in the US, our lives are saturated with pop culture. We define ourselves in large part by what we enjoy, who we like, what we listen to and watch on the radio and on television, and we connect to others using these things as common ground. Many of our experiences and personal life landmarks are intertwined with events in pop culture.

When you have someone like Michael Jackson, whose music literally spans generations and still remains relevant today, who has inspired millions of people around the globe, it only makes sense that people would genuinely feel a devastating loss when that person passes away - like a piece of your childhood, or whatever time in your life his music may be associated with, a little piece of you feels lost with his passing.

I saw my boyfriend's eighty-year-old grandmother weep in front of the television while watching "say say say" because she loved him dearly. She grew up listening to him, introduced her children to his music, who then played him for their children when they grew up themselves.

To have something so important to one's personal history disappear, especially in such a tragic manner, is difficult for some people to cope with.

I have always loved MJ's music, I grew up listening to Bad and Dangerous, and I always supported him during the trial and all of that, but I was never a "hardcore" fan admittedly until after his death. When I heard the news I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach. I was on a road trip with my boyfriend and I immediately insisted we listen to his music the whole ride. When I got home I took to the internet to read more about him, and I became completely fascinated with Michael as a human, music and scandals aside.

I am still very surprised at the deep way in which his death has affected me, honestly. I never thought I would feel such a connection to someone I have never met or spoken to, but for some reason Michael is different.

A little research reveals what a truly unique and special human being he was, and the impact he had on the world is actually incredible. Knowing all that he had to suffer through only makes it more difficult for people to deal with his passing. I know I constantly feel intense empathy for him, even now.

Don't be too sad now - Michael wouldn't want that for his fans.
And besides, we always have his music, his ideas and his humanitarian impact to keep us company.


Sorry for the long post. :(
Really, the bottom line is that it is natural to mourn the death of someone like MJ and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Just try to remember to be happy about all he gave you, musically and as a person, while he was alive!


EDIT: Would just like to add one more thing actually - if you are losing sleep, not eating, neglecting your work or your family, or considering suicide (as I have heard some fans have actually done :( ), then your mourning is probably at a level that is not healthy and you should probably seek counseling.
I don't mean this to be insulting to anyone, I just genuinely care and I don't want to see anyone hurt.
 
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Be strong. I understand how you feel.

As lame as it can appear, before Michael died, I had the most filled social life I've ever had in years. I went out with friend, to cinema, I met with people from another forum (not about MJ) many times, we talked and visited and everything. When Michael died, I just knew not a single one of them would be able to understand what I feel, so I just stopped writting, calling or seeing them. I stayed alone at home, because I didn't want to hear the judgements the bad things people can say. I deleted many people on my Facebook and changed my page only on Michael, as nothing else matters right now.
I don't want to hear my friends or family telling me I'm stupid to react that much to his death, telling me how I should grieve, when I should stop and then talk with others about me to say how weird and lame I am... So I don't talk to them anymore.

Then I joigned this forum, thank god! I was able to say how I felt to someone, to people who felt the same. And I found some fans around where I live. So now MJ fans are the only people I talk to. Yes, it's crazy, some may say unhealthy, but i don't care, that's how I live it, and if somebody I know says something bad about Michael in my face, it's non-respect to me and to Michael and I will probably delete this person off my life. When I met people I know in the street, I feel like they became stranger to me, I don't know what to tell them, I have nothing to share with them (without being judge) and I feel uncomfortable spending time with them. In a way it's sad, some of them who may care may wonder how I am doing but don't ask (thanks to them), but I also don't tell them that it's not because I don't like them.. it's just.. I do nothing.
If I ever 'come back' and see them, I don't know what their reaction will be, and I don,t know what they'll think, I don't know if they'll 'understand' or just say 'she's crazy and better not come back'... I abandonned them before they may abandon me, may be a way of protecting myself. Anyway.

I also agree that being a Michael Jackson fan is not the same as liking other celebrities. It's difficult to explain, but it's not just 'hey I like this singer, his songs are good'.. No.. It's so much deeper than that, it's in each and every cell we have in our body, it's emotional, it's physical, it's the oxygen when we breathe. Some are born male, some are born female, some are born with blond hair, some are born Michael Jackson fans! lol. Michael Jackson isn't just a song or a cool dance move, it's a way of living, it's a community of good people (mostly..in fact I've always said MJ fans could be the best people on earth), it's a way to look at the sky and the moon, it's a way to smile at certains things in life, it's a way to bring justice to unjustice, it's a way to believe in magic, to hide in a world when things are too hard to live, it's a way to move your own body, it's so much to be a Michael Jackson fan, and those who are not just can't understand the complexity of it, really.

Anyway, sorry for this long post...
I just hope you'll be able to deal with it better than I do, if you can go out and meet with people, do it. I really hope you'll find a way to put it all together, and that you'll give yourself the time you need to grieve properly.

big hugs to you.
 
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