Nar
Proud Member
Hi everyone. Well, I never really introduced myself. My name is Nar. :0]
Conceived in Mexico but born on american soil. I am now 31 years old, born on august 23 of '78. A virgo, for those of you who follow that sorta thing. ;0p
The first few years of my life were very strange.
For one, my mother had left me in the care of 3 different families, one after another before finally staying in the care of my mother. Moving from one place to another. And I never knew my father. To this day, it remains so.
I remember my first sunrise when I was forced to stay awake all night through the morning.
I was over my mother's shoulder while she walked the streets. It was cold and i was so sleepy. But I remember looking at the sky. I was probably 4 or 5 at the time. I never will forget that. It had a lot of substance which fed my imaginations.
Ever since I could remember, I was a very consciously aware person. My mother used to worry about me. lol.
I always looked at things and people and wondered about them. Being this way however, kept me somewhat disconnected with the surface at times.
And to this day, although I managed to break through and enjoy the facade around me, I always come back to square one. Where I feel like I'm looking through a window.
The biggest thing that hit me back then and still lives on today, is questioning why I'm here. Why we're all here. The purpose and all that.
And who or what is responsible for all this.
Asking myself these questions over and over for years has allowed me to a higher state of mind. The side effects have indeed disconnected me even further away from this world and its current events which became more and more frivolous when I'd compare it to what I keep calling "the ultimate reality" which is what we can not see, but feel.
I've done many stupid things in my time. But I also loved making people laugh. I was given a class clown award in the first grade while everyone got real achievement awards for math, english, etc. I remember I was sad about that. My teacher was confused. She thought I'd enjoy it. But I didn't. I didn't want to be looked as a fool. You make someone laugh at the expense of you making a complete dork out of yourself, and instead of a thanks, they say you're stupid. heh...
I'll cut to the chase... sorry, I realize all this is probably gibberish.
When I recently revisited Michael Jackson's legacy, I realized many things. For one, his legacy came to my attention through a sad tragedy we all know and felt.
Yeah, I am fan of his. But more than that, I admire him as a human being. As I learned more about him, I wondered if any of it was too good to be true, because for the first time in a long time, I felt a connection of energy. Positive light.
... I was put into a private Catholic school for 9 years. That's both elementary and high school. Church and religious traditions were a strong part of my life then. And I believed in everything I was told by people deemed holy and blessed. Eventually as I grew older, through out my HS years, I began to question things. From doing so, I managed to uncover the "other" side of these influences in my life which really disfigured the path they once laid before me. Do good or God will turn away from you.
I began to feel, I lost identity of my purpose for being "good". Like, I didn't know anymore, if I was being good because I wanted to be, or because I was told to be. I left my religion, soon after.
From that point on, I've indulged in Christianity (i think I was converted) and left that as well. (nice people though, the one's I met.) Then I hung around the Mormon, the Jehovah, the Buddhist and then the Jewish. Each one tried to educate me about their beliefs. Some more passionate than others.
Non of them worked for me though. But I never argued them. I respect it. But I left all of that and went to be on my own. Doing things under my own influence.
After a few years of having to be in very tight situations, from bar fights to infidelities in my relationships, I finally came to gather myself and all my actions that were raw and came truly from my own choices.
For example, when I would immediately stop a bar fight by pure instinct and try to calm each person down or when the love of my life was caught cheating around with other men and me left with nothing else, I'd find a way to peacefully end things. And not accept hate inside me.
Easier said that done. But I managed to do it. It took a lot of practice. And I had plenty, sad to say. -_-
I wouldn't notice it there and then because things are usually on high stress levels and you don't have much time to think. But years later, you gather yourself up and you evaluate yourself.
And I was really happy to look back and know, it wasn't religion or fear of burning in hell that influenced my nature. It is by choice that comes from that one place we all know yet can not see with the naked eye.
Damn, it's such a mystery, but I believe that has a very strong element within it which brings or can bring us closer to what I kept calling "day one", which is basically the beginning of all time and space.
A mystery. A beautiful and painful mystery. Life. With choice.
Isn't that amazing?!
Well..so much for me cutting to the chase. Please forgive the long blog...
I guess... I took notice that this world around me (notice i said around me) isn't as wonderful as I wish it would be. It always has me looking backwards into a time where in comparison to today, is becoming more and more of a mythological past tense.
I don't live backwards, though I do want to bring forth the wonderful and powerful TRUE energy that was left behind for things like fame, fortune and technological conveniences which noticeably drained our natural energy.
If I have to explain what this ultimate reality is, I would say its the place where spirits live on. An eternity, possibly.
And when I think about things in that fashion, I always ask... What's 70 -80 years of hard life when there's eternity to look forward to?
And it motivates me to work incredibly hard. To reach that light. To keep fighting the good fight. Find that truth. As a creation made up of cells, atoms, light, spirit, energy, whatever it is that makes us.
Anyways...
I now work as an illustrator of many sorts. Mainly in the comic book genre. But, I recently left the scene indefinitely because I needed some time off from all the nonsense I've tackled. And this is where Michael really comes in.
Michael faced incredible nonsense due to his popularity around the globe.
My popularity is not even a hairline scratch in size when compared to MJ's legacy and my point is that even with what little amount of people who followed my work, actually, they weren't even fans but people who worked in the same field as I, were still able to seep through my personal life and make up stories about me, really depressed me, upset me, and emptied my heart from the love I once felt for everyone and everything.
Betrayal is one main cause of all this.
But then you see a man like MJ. That guy REALLY had it going on every single day. And not once did he turn from us. He became a recluse, but he never barked back or disrespected those who disrespected him.
That's a lot harder to do then to spit back at people out of spite.
I managed to gather myself throughout this short period of down time and that's when I found this place. MJJ Community... :0]
I couldn't have felt happier to find a place where many really sweet and kind people hung out and talked about similar goodness.
Though there are some here that kinda leaves me wondering in disbelief, for the most part, it's been a great stay with awesome things to read about, etc. And I had no trouble not hesitating to donate and support the site.
This was my small wonder world. Right on my screen. I think this is where technology plays a very positive role.
Unfortunately, I'm not one who stays in one spot for long. I move around a lot, so I may not keep up with all of you for too long. I do have to go back soon and proceed with my goals eventually. Hopefully, I will be able to come back again and again whenever time permits.
Well... this turned out to be more like a book than a blog! lol :0]
I doubt anyone will read all this. But it was good to let something out.
You guys are great.
hugs all around
Bye
Conceived in Mexico but born on american soil. I am now 31 years old, born on august 23 of '78. A virgo, for those of you who follow that sorta thing. ;0p
The first few years of my life were very strange.
For one, my mother had left me in the care of 3 different families, one after another before finally staying in the care of my mother. Moving from one place to another. And I never knew my father. To this day, it remains so.
I remember my first sunrise when I was forced to stay awake all night through the morning.
I was over my mother's shoulder while she walked the streets. It was cold and i was so sleepy. But I remember looking at the sky. I was probably 4 or 5 at the time. I never will forget that. It had a lot of substance which fed my imaginations.
Ever since I could remember, I was a very consciously aware person. My mother used to worry about me. lol.
I always looked at things and people and wondered about them. Being this way however, kept me somewhat disconnected with the surface at times.
And to this day, although I managed to break through and enjoy the facade around me, I always come back to square one. Where I feel like I'm looking through a window.
The biggest thing that hit me back then and still lives on today, is questioning why I'm here. Why we're all here. The purpose and all that.
And who or what is responsible for all this.
Asking myself these questions over and over for years has allowed me to a higher state of mind. The side effects have indeed disconnected me even further away from this world and its current events which became more and more frivolous when I'd compare it to what I keep calling "the ultimate reality" which is what we can not see, but feel.
I've done many stupid things in my time. But I also loved making people laugh. I was given a class clown award in the first grade while everyone got real achievement awards for math, english, etc. I remember I was sad about that. My teacher was confused. She thought I'd enjoy it. But I didn't. I didn't want to be looked as a fool. You make someone laugh at the expense of you making a complete dork out of yourself, and instead of a thanks, they say you're stupid. heh...
I'll cut to the chase... sorry, I realize all this is probably gibberish.
When I recently revisited Michael Jackson's legacy, I realized many things. For one, his legacy came to my attention through a sad tragedy we all know and felt.
Yeah, I am fan of his. But more than that, I admire him as a human being. As I learned more about him, I wondered if any of it was too good to be true, because for the first time in a long time, I felt a connection of energy. Positive light.
... I was put into a private Catholic school for 9 years. That's both elementary and high school. Church and religious traditions were a strong part of my life then. And I believed in everything I was told by people deemed holy and blessed. Eventually as I grew older, through out my HS years, I began to question things. From doing so, I managed to uncover the "other" side of these influences in my life which really disfigured the path they once laid before me. Do good or God will turn away from you.
I began to feel, I lost identity of my purpose for being "good". Like, I didn't know anymore, if I was being good because I wanted to be, or because I was told to be. I left my religion, soon after.
From that point on, I've indulged in Christianity (i think I was converted) and left that as well. (nice people though, the one's I met.) Then I hung around the Mormon, the Jehovah, the Buddhist and then the Jewish. Each one tried to educate me about their beliefs. Some more passionate than others.
Non of them worked for me though. But I never argued them. I respect it. But I left all of that and went to be on my own. Doing things under my own influence.
After a few years of having to be in very tight situations, from bar fights to infidelities in my relationships, I finally came to gather myself and all my actions that were raw and came truly from my own choices.
For example, when I would immediately stop a bar fight by pure instinct and try to calm each person down or when the love of my life was caught cheating around with other men and me left with nothing else, I'd find a way to peacefully end things. And not accept hate inside me.
Easier said that done. But I managed to do it. It took a lot of practice. And I had plenty, sad to say. -_-
I wouldn't notice it there and then because things are usually on high stress levels and you don't have much time to think. But years later, you gather yourself up and you evaluate yourself.
And I was really happy to look back and know, it wasn't religion or fear of burning in hell that influenced my nature. It is by choice that comes from that one place we all know yet can not see with the naked eye.
Damn, it's such a mystery, but I believe that has a very strong element within it which brings or can bring us closer to what I kept calling "day one", which is basically the beginning of all time and space.
A mystery. A beautiful and painful mystery. Life. With choice.
Isn't that amazing?!
Well..so much for me cutting to the chase. Please forgive the long blog...
I guess... I took notice that this world around me (notice i said around me) isn't as wonderful as I wish it would be. It always has me looking backwards into a time where in comparison to today, is becoming more and more of a mythological past tense.
I don't live backwards, though I do want to bring forth the wonderful and powerful TRUE energy that was left behind for things like fame, fortune and technological conveniences which noticeably drained our natural energy.
If I have to explain what this ultimate reality is, I would say its the place where spirits live on. An eternity, possibly.
And when I think about things in that fashion, I always ask... What's 70 -80 years of hard life when there's eternity to look forward to?
And it motivates me to work incredibly hard. To reach that light. To keep fighting the good fight. Find that truth. As a creation made up of cells, atoms, light, spirit, energy, whatever it is that makes us.
Anyways...
I now work as an illustrator of many sorts. Mainly in the comic book genre. But, I recently left the scene indefinitely because I needed some time off from all the nonsense I've tackled. And this is where Michael really comes in.
Michael faced incredible nonsense due to his popularity around the globe.
My popularity is not even a hairline scratch in size when compared to MJ's legacy and my point is that even with what little amount of people who followed my work, actually, they weren't even fans but people who worked in the same field as I, were still able to seep through my personal life and make up stories about me, really depressed me, upset me, and emptied my heart from the love I once felt for everyone and everything.
Betrayal is one main cause of all this.
But then you see a man like MJ. That guy REALLY had it going on every single day. And not once did he turn from us. He became a recluse, but he never barked back or disrespected those who disrespected him.
That's a lot harder to do then to spit back at people out of spite.
I managed to gather myself throughout this short period of down time and that's when I found this place. MJJ Community... :0]
I couldn't have felt happier to find a place where many really sweet and kind people hung out and talked about similar goodness.
Though there are some here that kinda leaves me wondering in disbelief, for the most part, it's been a great stay with awesome things to read about, etc. And I had no trouble not hesitating to donate and support the site.
This was my small wonder world. Right on my screen. I think this is where technology plays a very positive role.
Unfortunately, I'm not one who stays in one spot for long. I move around a lot, so I may not keep up with all of you for too long. I do have to go back soon and proceed with my goals eventually. Hopefully, I will be able to come back again and again whenever time permits.
Well... this turned out to be more like a book than a blog! lol :0]
I doubt anyone will read all this. But it was good to let something out.
You guys are great.
hugs all around
Bye
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