Whenever I get caught up in the grief and the unbearable frustration of him being gone and not being able to change it I think about his children, how ever hard our pain is to bear theirs is greater, we had him for many years, they had him for such a short time in their lives.
I curse myself for being so excited about those flaming concerts, but for them Murrey would not have been in his life. If it had been natural causes or an accident maybe some of the pain would be less, but knowing he was alive one minute and dead in the time it took to put a few mills of fluid into him by yet another money hungry swine, who he should never have allowed near him just makes the agony worse.
We have to move on, come to terms with this and not let it eat away at us, I just wish I knew how to do that. I find no enthusiasm for any new album, or any memorial concert, without Michael the world is a much quieter place.
His passing puts a lot in perspective, the haters can get stuffed, they can't hurt him now, the rumours etc. do they matter? Not really.
