i am truly utterly speechless!!! i am writing this all teary...God, you are truly my family,i love you with every bit of my heart. i am so so so very sorry i haven't been on here for a long time, i know how hard this is for everyone of us and maybe i was too coward or too selfish to indulge in my own grief and not see what's happening on here though you are all my family... i just couldnt take it, come here while Michael is gone... wanted to disappear, wanted to turn into a cloud or a butterfly and fly away... and what i did was that i withdrew from everything, from life, friends, emails...all.. went back home trying to be surrounded with family love, it was great but i cant say i didnt feel alone

stumbling with confusion and millions of unanswered questions and honest desire to simply quit life... i dont understand anything, i cant fathom life or wat i am doing here and Micheal's voice seems so far away that i don't know if i can hear it or not...
i know that for most of us, we are living the same confusion... but god, how overwhelmed i am to read your emials, your posts, your concerns about me though you have never met me... i have no words to explain how touched i feel, and how humble i am in the face of all your kindness and true grace...
i believed i was a lost soul... now, i am trying to get back to normal, i am trying to gather the pieces again, i am trying to do something and i hope i will be able to make a change though small and make Michael look at me and us smiling and at peace that he is still alive through our actions and love...
Guys, i thank you , i thank you from the bottom of my heart... i don't think i was used to feel really cared for before...but with you, our Michael's family, i feel like home, i feel like being touched by Michael through your words and your care...
i am eternally grateful to each and everyone of you... thank you Maria, thank you,... thank you to everyone who posted here and sent me emails... you are in my heart forever and i am eternally grateful to you... I LOVE YOU ..I LOVE YOU ...I LOVE YOU MORE...
I LOVE YOU MORE...
YOURS TRULY,
Roaa