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Is anyone finding it easier????

I've been doing ok the past couple of days.
I wonder how long it lasts this time...

After the release of the trailer I was back to 3 months ago and I couldn't even watch the History concert anymore without crying.
But I want to be strong now so I haven't cried for a few days now.
Except when I saw the performance of Janet at the VMA's I looked it up yesterday because I didn't saw the VMA's on tv.
It was a wonderful tribute and you can see Janet had a tough time doing it that's what got tears in my eyes but I managed to stay strong.
 
I go through different phases, it's not one big grieving process and them bam you're over it, no it's a never ending cycle of pain, and right now I feel like shit I'm trying really hard not to sink into depression. having no one's support also makes it a lot harder for me
I actually have a friend who said sorry I know you're going through hell and I know I didn't offer much help - well if you know then why don't you shut up? some people are like "oh you poor little thing I know you must be suffering but I'm glad I'm not in your place"
 
Sometimes, but other times, no especially If I have a dream. Last night i dreamt that I went to an advanced screening of TII and MJ was actually there on stage, and I went to physically see him. He started to sing I'll Be There. He had a lip piercing! stannnge! lol today I can't help but feel a little bit down because of the dream.
 
it kills me , i mean , i know he will NEVER come back
he's GONE for ever
this just make me feel like if somebody's killing me
......and i do feel gulity i just don't know why.........
OH GOD , i feel HORRIBLE
HOOOOOOORRIBLE :boohoo:
nooooooooooo
WHY HIM?
JUST WHY??
 
WHY NOT MEEEEE???????
GOOOOD
GOD
WHYYYYYYYY????
here comes the tears
GOD , please have mercy
 
it kills me , i mean , i know he will NEVER come back
he's GONE for ever
this just make me feel like if somebody's killing me
......and i do feel gulity i just don't know why.........
OH GOD , i feel HORRIBLE
HOOOOOOORRIBLE
nooooooooooo
WHY HIM?
JUST WHY??
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oh, i know it's so hard.:cry:
i was praying to die, cause the pain was unbearable...
but we must understand one thing, he is now in peace.
and we do know, that we Will meet him again!
this is the reason i live.
imagine how wonderful it will be when we meet him and hug him...:wub:
oh god can't wait....

so smile now Paris ... :hug:
 
No this isn't getting any easier for me either. :( If anything it is getting harder. Reality hits in and it's like someone ripped my heart out. It makes me feel sick to think about it. And it feels like he is getting further away the longer it's been. I hate this. I just wish somehow it could not be real...like having a really long awful dream or something. What I wouldn't give to have him back here again and safe and well.
 
I agree with you Micah. I cannot get excited about a film which I believe contributed to his death. I respect those who wish to see it though.
 
I bought a new car, the car that i always wanted and i thought it will help me get rid of this sadness. I thought the car will bump my adrenaline and i will able to feel normal again. Guess what. It didn`t work.
 
michaels wendy bird said:
I need to ask because im not, i think i am coming to terms with it and then bang it hits me all over again! The problem is everytime it hits me again it hurts more and more. I dont think i am ever gonna come to terms with it. I am scared that for the rest of my life this is going to be bringing me down. I thought the saying was time heals well the more time that goes on the worse i feel! How is that right??? Then i think i am being selfish for being this upset, Michael had three beautiful children that need every ones love and support and all i can think about is my own stupid feelings! God when is this gonna stop hurting???
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I feel the exact same way. :boohoo:
 
*hugs* to you all.. stay strong :heart:

I have to say I'm feeling a lot better than in summer. Of course I still have the moments of horrible sadness and even pain.. but overall I'm getting better..
I'm just so thankful I got to experience Michael while he was alive!!! I can never be enough thankful for that..
 
Im cryinng more and more each day, but for some reason its not so sad anymore, the tears feel like me just thanking him for everything and just remembering him! Im just feeling more positive, trying not to think about what ive lost, but what i was given, when i had him!
The tears keep flowing but there more happy now, all we can do is stay positive and think about him and celebrate his life!
 
Me too. It's hurting so much right now. Like two days ago I was fine, I was doinf this geeting ready to go back to uni. But yesterday and today it hit me again. I couldn't even listen to Michael songs without crying :cry: As I type this my heart is aching for Michael so much, I just can't take it. :(
 
michaels wendy bird said:
I need to ask because im not, i think i am coming to terms with it and then bang it hits me all over again! The problem is everytime it hits me again it hurts more and more. I dont think i am ever gonna come to terms with it. I am scared that for the rest of my life this is going to be bringing me down. I thought the saying was time heals well the more time that goes on the worse i feel! How is that right??? Then i think i am being selfish for being this upset, Michael had three beautiful children that need every ones love and support and all i can think about is my own stupid feelings! God when is this gonna stop hurting???
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This might be a dumb question and I certianly don't mean it to be rude. How can us not hurting help MJ's children? Perhaps you're thinking if we weren't thinking of our feelings we'd think of them more? It's alright to hurt. I'm sure you remember his children as I do. We can pray for his children and then for his family and ourselves. The hurt won't go away. I tried telling myself to get over it, and it's not happening any time soon or maybe a at all, I don't know.
You're not being selfish and neither is anyone else on here.
 
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