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It's been 1 MONTH!

blanket05

blanket05

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OMG! It such a long long time and so difficult and painful for me T_T!!!!

It's been 1 MONTH without him, without seeing his smile, listening to his "I love you more!"
OMG! I even can't imagine that I'd have such a terrible period in my life in last 1 month

After every condolences that you guys, my friends and my family had tried to abate me, I still remain so painful, heartbroken and devastated. I even don't want to be better and I also don't know when I can be

I started to be scared of getting up every morning, 'cause once I got up, I soon feel empty , lost and hurt like hell inside seeing his pics in my room

Oh God!!!! I know this topic is none other than letting you down even more, but... I just can't bare..!

I scared of the time passing by, 'cause the longer it takes, the more I feel that I certainly lost him

Is there anyone of you get better? Hope you're doing well


I love you Michael - my endless love!
​
 
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blanket05 said:
After every condolences that you guys, my friends and my family had tried to abate me! I still remain so painful, heartbroken and devastated. I even don't want to be better and I also don't know when I can be

I started to be scared of getting up every morning, 'cause once I got up, I soon feel empty , lost and hurt like hell inside seeing his pics in my room

I scared of the time passing by, 'cause the longer it takes, the more I feel that I certainly lost him.
Click to expand...


I totally agree, I have the same feelings. I constantly look at my big picture of him on my wall and just, wonder why?
I try and look to the future, but then I wonder how I'm going to get along without you Michael!

:boohoo:
 
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I'm not feeling better and same as you say I think I don't want to feel better.
Time is going fast it feels like yesterday when I found out what happend.
I still keep thinking this can't be real!
 
yes @ feeling the pain ~.

but "huggs * we will remain strong , and *huggs*hold on ,just like michael would have wanted us all too right ? xox .
 
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I know i hate the fact that after each day, week, month passes, it's longer that hes been gone, and the longer hes been gone, it makes him seem further away... More and more like a legend or myth that was. Not just a man of our own time, a human. Sorry half of my post dont make sense, i think i was just talking to myself not thinking other people have to understand it Lol. x
 
the fact that it's been a month or 2 months or a year doesn't matter because we have to live with it every day anyway
and no I'm not going to get over it I'll always be heartbroken and sad, I can't even stop the tears from coming when I think about him
 
blanket05 said:
OMG! It such a long long time and so difficult and painful for me T_T!!!!

It's been 1 MONTH without him, without seeing his smile, listening to his "I love you more!"
OMG! I even can't imagine that I'd have such a terrible period in my life in last 1 month

After every condolences that you guys, my friends and my family had tried to abate me, I still remain so painful, heartbroken and devastated. I even don't want to be better and I also don't know when I can be

I started to be scared of getting up every morning, 'cause once I got up, I soon feel empty , lost and hurt like hell inside seeing his pics in my room

Oh God!!!! I know this topic is none other than letting you down even more, but... I just can't bare..!

I scared of the time passing by, 'cause the longer it takes, the more I feel that I certainly lost him

Is there anyone of you get better? Hope you're doing well


I love you Michael - my endless love!
​
Click to expand...

:hug: :hug: :hug: I know :( But we have to carry on, even though that emptiness will always be there :cry: One day we will smile again. You always gotta have hope in your heart, even though it's broken

Always remember that Michael loved us fans so very much and he knew how we love him too. This thought always comforts me.
 
Yes, it's been a month. We have to be strong and talk to one another if things gets difficult. Stay strong, guys.

Btw, I'm moving this thread by request by the thread starter :)
 
I scare to look at red roses cuz remind me the picture of him in the casket at the memorial day.

When I tired from work and I just wanna relax by dance to "in the closet" as my routine but its not the same feeling anymore. I can dance to the song I just wanna try to do like celebrate his song his legacy but inside my mind ..its really not the same.

I m still in sad moment :( but try hard to stay strong cuz can not get him back. I can tell that I cry everyday in the night while see him in vdo and read his interview , article ..etc.. so hard to go through
 
I really understand you because I feel the same! It is harder day by day but we have to find a way to be strong! Michael was so strong, we have to learn it from him! I still don't know how but when I will find a way, I will share it with you all!
 
It's really strange for me. Part of me thinks it doesn't seem like he has been gone for as long as a month. Another part of me thinks that time has dragged since he died. It's so strange and confusing :(
 
OMG you have expressed everything I feel. The times goes by and I dont want to feel better. I dont want to get over it and carry on. I miss him everyday and I keep crying everyday and I know that nothing will be the same again. I cant understand why and I feel angry, tired and sad and worst alone. Nobody around me seems to understand what I am feeling. The only nice thing is this forum where I can express my self. For that Thank you!!!
I miss you more everyday Michael!!!!
 
It still does not feel real to me either. You are so right about waking up feeling empty. Some days I have vivid MJ dreams and I just want to keep dreaming and not wake up. I am very heartbroken and will never accept this.
 
He was in my head all night last night. Heavy heavy heavy. I was out with a guy that I like, but Michael was in my head all night long on the date.. I just kept hearing his voice singing over and over again in my head, different songs, images of him in my head all night long. The guy was talking to me and I was drifting off somewhere, in a MJ video, or at a show or something.. it was like I was right there in the audience. It was scary. But I knew what day it was so I just let the images come to me.

It's so hard to believe it's been a month. It feels like yesterday to me. I feel like I should be getting over it and moving on with my life, because I feel so silly mourning like this, but I can't help it. It's like a dream, I keep expecting to wake up, but I know that's not gonna happen. He really is gone and after a month it's finally starting to sink it... and it just sucks. He just didn't deserve this. It just all went so terribly wrong and that's the part that tears me up. Like it didn't have to happen like this, you know?

The one thing I can say is that this is bittersweet for me. I was a fan of the music, but didn't know as much as I do now about the man. I am so sorry that it took his death to open my eyes, but I'm so happy that I now know more about this wonderful human being and want to try to live my life with even the slightest inkling of compassion and generosity that he did.
 
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I feel the same. I almost feel scared that each day is passing without him. I just feel so bewildered by it all. It's like I still don't believe.
I love you Michael. xxx
 
Woke up thinking of MJJ and its a month today. I hope your resting in peace MJ.... U have been on the front page of nearly every single UK national paper since 25 June. U will never be forgotten. The person who took ur life will be punished.
 
A month, a year... I cant ever feel this pain going away no matter how long...
 
I can't believe it's been a month. It's hard to believe. I have had a tough month. I have tried to talk this out with so many people and make it make sense but I just can't and people who don't understand the meaning of Michael just don't want to talk about it. I have been a Michael fan since I was 14 and Thiller came out. For me Michael defined much of my growing up years. When I became busy as an adult I forgot much of my childhood and what made me, me. However when a Michael song would play or a video or Michael picture would show up I would remember my childhood and thank him for helping me define it. On June 25th I started crying for Michael and cried for two weeks. I still think about him alot and wake up with his songs in my head. I wonder who will continue his charity works and feel like I need to find a way to keep that going (make that change). I'm greatful for this site and all of you because I feel understood here and many of you can express the feelings in words better than I can and I find comfort in that. I think that it will get better in time. I hope. I think that if we all just keep posting and listening we will be fine and find a way to keep Michael alive in the world.

Thanks for reading
Laura
 
Everything you all have said... I relate with so much. Can't believe it's only been a month, though. Seems like this horrible nightmare has been going on for ages. I miss him so much. :cry:
 
You know what people, I'm not going to take that "God took him away from us" stuff... It was the evil forces that took Michael, the devil. And this time God (if you want to believe in god anyways, I'm not so sure any more) just wasn't fast enough to help Michael.

I'm full of rage and anger... but I'm also so phuckin numb that you can't see it in me.
 
I still feel as horrible as on the day I heard the news.
It freaks me out that more and more days are passing by without him. I'm so scared... This wasn't supposed to happen and this time should be the happiest times in our life as a fan. It was too good to be true I guess...
I don't enjoy life anymore. I don't want to just live on without Michael. It doesnt feel right. It feels like a smack in the face, which wakes me up and forces me to grow up. I'm 16 years and have been a fan for only 5 years, but it feels like a lifetime. Michael has become the most important person in my life. Now I have to live my life alone...but I feel scared to do it without Mike.
I miss him so much... The tears will never stop.
 
It's hard to believe that it's been a month already. I still can't believe he's gone, let alone that it's been a month.
 
I still feel like I've only just found out. Feels like an eternity, but not at the same time. :(
 
sophia_louise said:
I know i hate the fact that after each day, week, month passes, it's longer that hes been gone, and the longer hes been gone, it makes him seem further away... More and more like a legend or myth that was. Not just a man of our own time, a human. Sorry half of my post dont make sense, i think i was just talking to myself not thinking other people have to understand it Lol. x
Click to expand...

Yeah, this is what scares me the most. I don't want him to just fade away. I don't want to forget. I want to keep having strong memories of him.
 
1 month already and for me it seems that it just happened.

I can still hear the news,read the papers,rememeber everything i was doing when i heard it...i know he died,but at the same time,he is still alive in me.He is so alive in me that sometimes it scares me.
Life without him is very painfull and sometimes unberable.
Life without him...
 
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