MJ TinkerBell ...please dear,there's absolutely no need toexcuse for anything.You were busy living your life,just lije everybody has to do.It's also important that you findtime for yourself an car for you,otherwise you will end up sick,and he most precious gift someone can have,is our health,eventhough we only realise it,when we lost it somehow.
My mom knew about you,about this thread,and she loves you,and everyone in this forum,that i love as my family...my MJ family,that does much more than my real one.
There's no need to be sad for not saying a word for sometime dear.Mom always knew who loves her,and who was just pretending.I would always update her on the prayers,the love,the strengh,and when she was still able to talk,she would always want to answer.
But when she stoped being able to talk,i could see and read in her eyes what she thought and how she felt.Believe me she always smiled so sweet.And when i would tell her that you call her queen,she always thought it so funny.
I wish i knew before you were going through so much my friend.I would have loved to be here for you.Please know that i will always be here if you need to open up.
Yes the pain is unberable,and so far,all my attempts to move foward,failled.I was diagnosed with major depression,i have been doing all kind of treatments,and so far none did what was supposed to do,so recently i started 2 different types of treatment,to see if this constant agony and pain in my chest,ends forever.
One thing i learned,is that we shouldn't avoid the grieve,or try to make it faster,because in the end,the consequences are not good.Believe me...i been there.To my family,9 months is a long time,to me,9 months was yesterday,and eventhough i tell myself i need to move on,my body blocks me somehow.I am always tired,always in pain for no specific reason,and doctors tell me to take my time because not grieving proparly is the worst we can do.
"Queen Elisa, you are the very reason God invented LOVE :heart: You were such a perfect creation, designed to sparkle with every ray and reflection of your smiles ! You did your job well little angel Elisa and did it like nothing anyone has ever seen or done on this earth!!"
You made me cry now...i bet my mom,reading this from Heaven,is doing the same,as she always saw herself as regular normal person.Of course to me,she was the most amazing Mom someone could ask for,but to realise that someone that never saw her,can see how lovely she was,touches me and her deeply.Thank you so much for those lovely words,sweetie.
"WOMAN: THE BLUE PRINT . . . . . . . . .
When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day.......
An angel came by and asked." Why spend so much time on her ?".
.
The lord answered. " Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?".....
she must function on all kinds of foods, ...
she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time,
give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart ,
she must do all this with only two hands,.."
She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day".... ...
THE ANGEL was impressed. .." Just two hands.....impossible !" ..
And this is the standard model ? ! ...."
The Angel came closer and touched the woman"...... ..
." But you have made her so soft, Lord".....
." She is soft", said the Lord,
" But I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome "...
."Can she think?" The Angel asked...
The Lord answered. " Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate" ...
.
The Angel touched her cheeks.....
" Lord, it seems this creation is leaking ! You have put too many burdens on her. " ...
."She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the Angel...
" What's it for?" Asked the Angel..... .
.
The Lord said. " Tears are her way of expressing
her grief,
her doubts,
her love,
her loneliness,
her suffering and
her pride."...
THIS made a big impression on the Angel,
" Lord, you are genius.
You thought of everything.
A woman is indeed marvellous !".... ...
.
Lord said." Indeed she is.
She has strength that amazes a man.
She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love and opinions.
She smiles when she feels like screaming.
She sings when she feels like crying,
cries when happy and
laughs when afraid.
She fights for what she believes in.
Her love is unconditional.
Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies
but she finds strength to get on with life." ..
The Angel asked : So she is a perfect ?
The lord replied : No. She has just one drawback
" She often forgets what she is worth".
wow...i'm speechless...what a touching,deep,and true poem.Thank you once again,for everything.For sharing treasures like this.
"Queen" Elisa as you call her,is feeling loved,is as emotional as her daughter,and for sure is taking care of our Michael,because i give her no other choice.
God Bless you my sweet friend!Tight hugs from me and Elisa.