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The pain of Michael Jackson passing was like Family.

Healer

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In my life I have experienced the dull aching pain that one can attribute to losing a Family member four times.

The first was after my Grandpa died in 1998.
The second was at my Grandmas funeral in 2003.
The third was the day my Mum died in 2004 and on the taxi home after the undertakers came to take her away.

The fourth? Was yesterday watching the Memorial Service there is no other way to put it no other passing or loss of a loved one has ever made me feel this way.

Just goes to show how much Michael touched us in his own unique way.
 
Yes, he was a part of all of our families. He touched the lives of so many people spanning so many generations with so many different dreams. Having hin gone has literally stripped away most of my happy childhood. I never realized just how much a part of my life he really was. I'll miss him forever.

And I am so sorry for your loses. Please take comfort in knowing that there has to be something on the other side. I believe there is.
 
One thing I know...I am not alone. Cause some of you are showing me that I am not the only one who feels this way. I can't stop crying and I feel like I have lost someone in my family. I almost feel a worst over Michael than I did over my grandma. And I loved my grandma dearly.

Michael truly was a member of our family. We made him a member. And that is why he is so important to our hearts.
 
dear family member and soulmate......... :( it's hurting so much, no words.......
even the sun shining and birds singing without him here it's all not the same anymore :(
 
Many thanks for all your concern but they like Michael are in a much, much better place now and I came to terms with their passing the way those who have been in a similar situation do.

Also I laughed when MJ Jordan said, "At least Michael is singing to them now." because my Grandmother was the biggest Michael Jackson fan in our family which I think was one of the reasons I Love him so much and if I know her she would be one of the first people up there to EXPECT him to do up there what he did so well down here. :D
 
It's been similar for me too, but the only thing which has kept me going is the thought of all of those millions of other fans who're also feeling the same way. He has the biggest fanbase and we all cry together.

You must also remember the quote from Janet: "To you he was an icon, to us he was family. And he will forever live on in our hearts..."

Lots of love
x
 
To me, the world actually feels different without Michael in it. I can actually feel the loss. It is just not the same. When you have been watching someone your entire life like I have, you really miss something when they are gone. I can't remember a time in the past when Michael was not a part of my life. From watching him and his brothers on the Ed Sullivan Show, to watching those Jackson 5 cartoons every Saturday morning to watching him grow up to be a handsome young man, to writing love letters to him when I became a teenager, to watching him take over the entertainment world, to watching Motown 25 with the whole world....I mean he has been with me every step of the way. And now he is gone and I am still here.

I must take the best that he has taught me and keep going. Cause one day it will be my time and I am sure I will see him again. Up there in heaven.
 
AllTheLovelyFlowers said:
To me, the world actually feels different without Michael in it. I can actually feel the loss. It is just not the same. When you have been watching someone your entire life like I have, you really miss something when they are gone. I can't remember a time in the past when Michael was not a part of my life. From watching him and his brothers on the Ed Sullivan Show, to watching those Jackson 5 cartoons every Saturday morning to watching him grow up to be a handsome young man, to writing love letters to him when I became a teenager, to watching him take over the entertainment world, to watching Motown 25 with the whole world....I mean he has been with me every step of the way. And now he is gone and I am still here.


I must take the best that he has taught me and keep going. Cause one day it will be my time and I am sure I will see him again. Up there in heaven.
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Reading this ...you must be around my age. That's when I started as well and continued with Michael as he grew into the person he was today.

Micheal was too young to die so soon. Yes I agree with your statement "He's gone and I am still here."

Like Stevie Wonder sang...." I never dreamed you leave in the summer."

Oh how I miss him so ...:(
 
Of all the family members I had lost in the past 11 years. I have never really cried over their deaths. Because I really didn't felt anything with them. Especially my grandfather who I had lost this year on Paris Jackson's birthday. But with Michael it is different he was like a father to me. And his death is still really effecting hard. I don't think I am ever going to be over his death. Not when I had loved him so extremely much. In fact Michael was the only person that I had love the most in the world.
 
Maggy, I am 48. Michael has been in my life for my entire life. This is the first time I have ever lived in a world without him. I am truly missing him. And I know that my brothers are too. We were all huge MJ fans.

I used to watch people loose loved ones and see how they hurt so bad. But now I know how they feel. I have lost loved ones, but they have mostly been older people who I knew were gonna die and therefore, I was prepared. But I was not prepped for Michael...at all. I thought I would see Michael grow old and be a happy old man with a lot of children and grandchildren around him. I guess he was meant to be young his entire life. He will never grow old.
 
We buried Michael, now grandmother is dying! I have 2 deaths at the same time.

......
 
AllTheLovelyFlowers said:
To me, the world actually feels different without Michael in it. I can actually feel the loss. It is just not the same. When you have been watching someone your entire life like I have, you really miss something when they are gone. I can't remember a time in the past when Michael was not a part of my life. From watching him and his brothers on the Ed Sullivan Show, to watching those Jackson 5 cartoons every Saturday morning to watching him grow up to be a handsome young man, to writing love letters to him when I became a teenager, to watching him take over the entertainment world, to watching Motown 25 with the whole world....I mean he has been with me every step of the way. And now he is gone and I am still here.
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I totally agree. When I sit quietly, the silence is deafening. I feel like Michael gave me a sparkle and a skip in my step, which has gone now. The world is darker without him. I feel worse now after the memorial. I think seeing his coffin really hammered it home to me. The horrible thing is thought that with family, you get to pay your last respects. You don't have to essentially watch their funeral on TV with a stupid running commentry from an idiot presenter. I feel I will only say goodbye to him properly when I go to his grave.

I've been finding that I'm getting more and more upset about how he was treated in life. Someone posted on here that people treated him like a pig and then expected more. That's very true. And some people continue to treat him like a pig. He had been bleeding a lifetime.
 
I posted it on the coping thread, but there was an article that had scientific research on how people grieve over people they have never met....like MJ for many (I know some lucky people have met him). The person says it is just like grieving for a family member, there is a bond there, and your brain doesn't really know otherwise. So if anyone asks you why you are so grief stricken over "someone you have never met," tell them to shove it...or something nicer. :)
 
I just feel empty...it's like something is missing, and my heart aches, even though I knew I would probably never meet Michael...I always had that hope, you know?? I always say, you gotta have hope

Now that hope is gone, and Michael has gone way too soon...we are mourning for a loved one and also mourning for what COULD HAVE been..that hurts too much :(

I wrote him a letter...... :cry:

Dear Michael,
When I was 4 years old, I saw Thriller on tv. It was really scary especially when you turned into a werewolf...I ran and hid behind the sofa with my little yellow drinky cup. But I couldn't help but take a peak again...I was so scared but I loved the video...the dancing was amazing. I thought you were magic and could turn into anything you wanted!

My dad said the video was by Michael Jackson. It was the first time I heard your name. And I was hooked, big time.

I told my dad that I was gonna marry you when I was older. :D

He bought the Thriller album, and I would make him play it again and again and again. My favourite songs were Thriller and PYT. The needle on the record player got worn out but dad didn't mind because he saw how I lit up when I heard your songs

When we got the Bad album I really fell in love with you, I thought your eyes were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. And I loved the songs Liberian Girl and Just good friends.
Seeing you on the tv and newspapers made me light up with joy. I loved everything about you. My dad said that you were a great man, that you cared about the world and kids and you gave loads of money to charity.

I love dancing purely because of you.

When I first saw the Moonwalker film, I was so jealous of Katie, I wanted to be her, just so that I got to hug you. When you went away in the film and Katie had your lucky star and then you came back...I thought " maybe if I make one, Michael might come to see me?" So I made your lucky star out of cardboard and tin foil.

I realised you were going to be doing a show at Wembley when I was 9, the Bad tour. I so wanted to go. But I was too young and my parents didn't have the money. I thought I would never ever see you in real life...I was so upset for years. At that point I made it my lifetime ambition to see you. My love and admiration for you was like nothing I had ever known
 
This has felt the same for me. Exactly the same thing... like a close family member.

P.S. Miss Star... that was beautiful. Beautiful. You put into words so much of the same story I would like to tell, like the one and only MJ concert I attended... it's still the best day of my life. Thank you for sharing.
 
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Michael meant so much to me, but even I was surprised at my own reaction to his passing. I was in total shock, couldn't speak at first, then the tears started coming gradually, then I underwent two weeks of mourning where I couldn't think of anything else than him. It truly was like I lost a brother or close friend and I know so many people around the world felt the same way. That is saying something about the impact he had on people's lives.
 
Oh thank goodness. I thought I was the only one who felt that way. :cry:
I'm so sorry for your other losses...
My friends all think I've gone insane for caring so much and they refuse to talk to me until I 'get better'. Some friends. :(
But I know I'm not alone, and that there ARE the type of people that don't like Michael out there, but most of them are cold hearted anyway.
 
awww jeez, bless you. i know what you mean tho, i was devastated when my grandad died in '97 and michael going has brought everything flooding back. i just wish my friends and family understood how i feel. dont know what id do without you guys xxxx
 
amym1958 said:
awww jeez, bless you. i know what you mean tho, i was devastated when my grandad died in '97 and michael going has brought everything flooding back. i just wish my friends and family understood how i feel. dont know what id do without you guys xxxx
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I understand what you say when you wish family and friends would understand.

My family understands that i am a fan but they don't get the deeper feelings I had for Michael. They don't understand that I LOVED that man. I took off for about a week after Michael passed, went to NL and found some closure. But still the pain is there. Then the memorial, oh it was brutal on me emotionally i tried to let all the tears out then so I could get back to "reality". My family makes me question my feelings sometimes, saying I am a fanatic, like this is some phase that will pass. I feel like my family and life around me is trying to rush me out of my grief. But even after the memorial, i feel an emptiness, especially in the morining when everything is quiet my mind feels blank. Like I've lost my direction or path as if I were travelling on this road then all of a sudden the road gave way and there i am stuck on the edge, lost, confused, shocked, and scared.

Its almost like when will I stop crying? I hurt soo much, but I've put on a brave face for my family and job, when all I want to do is lay in bed for a month and grieve. I lost my mother in 2004, and I still broke out in tears a year and three months after she passed. Then i went into depression for two years. I wonder if Michaels passing will effect me in the same way, no...I know it will, i just hope i don't go into depression bc that was tuff. When I listen to his music now its almost like he is still here, I feel the same joy and happiness as when he was alive.

Sometimes I get angry at people who dismiss Michael, and say horrible things about him even after his death. Its like they are insulting a family member, they ARE insulting someone I loved. I am so on edge and that scares me, my dad called me offhandedly a "fanatic" and said "we're not gonna talk about this, cut this out right now" in response to me getting upset at him and telling him I am a fanatic and proudly, and i told him he wasnt a fan like me. Then he said he new Michael more than i did bc they are the same age... and he said he was a fan but they Michael started doing all the stuff to his face. So not only did my own father belittle my fanship and feelings for Michael, he also insulted Michael. I feel like I could seriously go to jail for assult if someone comes at me wrong, says something stupid about Michael,and i want to throw bricks at the fools on TV. They are my family..why cant they see how much he ment to me? why cant they see it was so much more than being a 'crazy fanatic'? Why cant they support me in my grief? I am trying soo hard to heal, in any way possible, even watching MJ vides and listening to his music, I tried to watch moonwalker with my sister...she couldn't do that...two measly hours of her life she couldn't share and confort with me. Or even my bootleg (lol) Bad tour DVD, she wouldn't budge.

So i am so happy we have this forum, some place I can share my feelings with others who understand and feel love for Michael just like a family member.
 
I know what you mean GenieBottle. I don't think anyone but other true MJ fans 'get' how we feel about Michael.

Sorry to hear about your Mum.

It is hard when poeple say bad stuff about Michael but then everyone has their opinion and when they are being ignorant they are only showing themselves up.

You know how you feel, cling onto that.
 
Healer2 said:
In my life I have experienced the dull aching pain that one can attribute to losing a Family member four times.

The first was after my Grandpa died in 1998.
The second was at my Grandmas funeral in 2003.
The third was the day my Mum died in 2004 and on the taxi home after the undertakers came to take her away.

The fourth? Was yesterday watching the Memorial Service there is no other way to put it no other passing or loss of a loved one has ever made me feel this way.

Just goes to show how much Michael touched us in his own unique way.
Click to expand...

It was, wasn't it? I felt like I lost the dearest friend of mine. My heart still aches thinking about it. I am in a genuine mourning period right now.
 
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