An embarrassing thread... having an MJ crush?

I have spent weeks crying and feeling dead inside...I need to have something else fun to take me away from those dark places...trust me, I have had some REALLY dark thoughts, so I am trying to get past that because it is not healthy for me :(

Those threads are my escape from the terrible sadness I feel...when I am in there I feel like Michael is still alive...it's like I can forget for a minute and smile. Then of course reality comes crashing in again :cry:

Thats the same for me. i use those threads to escape otherwise all i would do is cry, hell even a few times when i see some of those pictures in those threads, it hits me.. you know those "moments" when you rememebr that he is gone.

I have been a fan for about 30 years and the "crush" i had back when i was a teenager came back up even stronger then before. It makes me feel good and I can focus on that goodness and not always be focused on this empty feeling in the pit of my stomache for a small amount of time.
 
someone I had a bit on a crush on!

welcome to the mj club,,,you'll notice you shouldnt be embarrased..michael was a teen idol!! so girls loved him like that. .i wanted to meet and marry him in my teens. hell, even later on too!! i remember when he married lisa marie.. i cryed lol but its normal to have a thing for your favorite singer. he was a gorgeous man.
 
I always thought MJ was sexy! To me, the older he got, the sexier he got. He became more confident and mature and I loved that! People always talk about his looks, but he was always charismatic and had something about him that was really special. I was just watching the video for "Blood On The Dancefloor" and I was thinking how incredible MJ's whole aura was in it. So sexy!

SSSOOOO Agreeeeeee!!!!!! I have always found Michael to be incredibly sexy. He only got better as he got older. Yup Michael never failed to drive me crazy. he had this thing about him that drove the girls crazy and I so believe he knew it.... lol...Crazy Michael.
 
....................I have a' HUGE crush on Michael,so I fully understand and am not ashamed for it at all
 
Not alone; back in 2003, when I was watching the Bad video, I got up and made out with my tv screen. I was 11 years old. Good times.

I love this post! What a classic!
Reminds me of the times when I was younger and used to make out with all the posters on my walls, I remember once my mother coming in and saying "WHY on earth does every Michael photo in this room have this round dark patch on his face?!?!"
Hmmm. Why indeed? :D
 
Don't worry, you're not alone. Last night I was lying in bed listening to 'Break of Dawn' and couldn't help but get mental images of MJ doing....things... to me, then I was like. Woman! Snap out of it you sicko!

Same here!!! But I really can't help it. Sometimes I just let my mind wonder for a while. Is that bad of me???
 
I love this post! What a classic!
Reminds me of the times when I was younger and used to make out with all the posters on my walls, I remember once my mother coming in and saying "WHY on earth does every Michael photo in this room have this round dark patch on his face?!?!"
Hmmm. Why indeed? :D

Reminds me of a story an friend told me lately.
All her michael posters had a whole were his mouth should be.
Michael got his goodnight kiss every night, HAHAHAHAHAH.
 
When I'm in those threads I'm happy. When I'm in the thread about the diprovan doctor I'm angry. When I'm listening to his music I'm happy then have moments of sadness... the emotional rollercoaster is crazy so I'm definitely with you on that. I think it's just natural to feel this way. :hug: We're all in the same boat I think. I almost feel guilty myself, but I mean the man had many sides, and I think in a way we're celebrating this particular part of MJ you know?

After seeing your post early on in this thread I had to go over and take a gander out those threads. They look like wicked fun. I will certainly have to watch those. No way I can read the over 250 pages of the "Manhood" thread though lol.

I didn't really start to notice Michael's hotness until around the late 90's (making me in my late teens). I think he looked the hottest during the BAD and Dangerous eras.

I agree that those types of threads make me happy. It's really upsetting to hear about the investigation and such. I need some relief from all this. I just haven't been taking this well at all. I have been having a really bad night tonight. He's all I think about since the da he died and though I'm a lot better there are still times when I get really really upset, like tonight. I was reading a thread similar to the "Manhood" thread at Max Jax, and my tears started to turn to laughter. Now tonight instead of crying myself to sleep I'll be going to bed feeling really good.
 
Haha, I have a huge crush on Michael. It's crazy, but I sometimes pretend I'm married to him. :wub:
I'm 15, so I can get away with it. ;)
You should see my room. The walls are completely covered with pictures from the bad era, I can't get enough of that. Oh gosh. -drool-
My mom and I even 'fight' over who's going to marry him, but we all know it's me. :p
I also LOVE how he looked recently at the o2. In a way, maybe it's good I'm not going to the concert anymore. I probably would have fainted. ;)
Although, I'd faint a hundred times just to see him for a split second... :cry:
 
After seeing your post early on in this thread I had to go over and take a gander out those threads. They look like wicked fun. I will certainly have to watch those. No way I can read the over 250 pages of the "Manhood" thread though lol.

Oh yes you can read them all. Guaranteed ;) :p

It is impossible not to :D :D :D
 
Thank God I'm not alone. :D

I think I'm even more addicted to the sexy side of Michael now, watching youtube videos... *sexy*... because it's the total opposite of death, the antidote. Helps me to get my mind away from the cold reality.
 
Reminds me of a story an friend told me lately.
All her michael posters had a whole were his mouth should be.
Michael got his goodnight kiss every night, HAHAHAHAHAH.

...and a good morning kiss, too.
...and even food, sometimes...when it was yummy...

Couldn't have him miss out, could I?:blush::blush:
 
Don't worry, you're not alone. Last night I was lying in bed listening to 'Break of Dawn' and couldn't help but get mental images of MJ doing....things... to me, then I was like. Woman! Snap out of it you sicko!


lmfao i totally have the same feelings with this song...but i don't see him doing things to me, i see him more as like boyfriend material like dates and stuff...(but sometimes i might slip lol then i have to control myself)...and i'm always like dude wtf? snap out!!!! lol so i'm 18 and i have a giant crush on the thriller, billie jean, beat it michael. He looks so much like boyfriend material and I really wish I can find a guy like that. since his death i have watched numerous amount of videos from the past and i goo goo after every word he says lmao. And yes, i'm a little embarrassed to say it to ppl because even if i say "oh he is not that bad" ppl look at me as if i were nuts!! lmao and i really liked the bad and dangerous Michael. When he was married to Lisa Marie he looked amazing! and in the interview with Diane Sawyer i fell madly in love with him when he sings to lisa "i would love to sing with you, would you like to sing with me?" lmfao sooo cute! i am too also inches away from pinning up posters all over my wall and stuff. But people will think i need help, especially now that he is dead. Society sucks! lol but don't worry Jemini, you are definitely not alone in this.
 
oh and when i really noticed i had a crush on Michael was when i realized that EVERYDAY i HAD to watch the video Dirty Diana like 3 or 4 times (a day) so I can continue with my life...lmfao thats when i realized how attracted i am to the men.
 
I have the biggest crush on his Bad & Dangerous era, to me, he looks the sexiest and hottest during that time, but of cos, he still looks great in the later era, I would be blushing whenever I am watching his video or concerts or interview, he can be the cutiest, the sexiest, the hottest, the most gorgeous, the most beautiful etc...

I am 32 now and I must confess that I am only crazily in love with him after he was no longer with us, the only impression of him before that was singing "Heal the world" and "We are the world" at the singing class when I am in school in the late 80s and early 90s, and I know nothing of him after that, I feel so so guilty of myself, I simply missed out so much over the years, I am so mad cos he was the greatest man that has ever lived, how come I have no sense at all in loving this man when he was alive?? this is a question I keep on asking myself :cry: All the other music is garbage to me ever since I started listening to his masterpiece, I promise I will love him forever and ever till my last breath....
 
I realised a few days ago that what I find attractive in men is all based on Michael! As a Teenager I fancied the pants off him, and now I must admit I have a bit of a thing for skinnier guys, with longer dark hair, who quite like wearing make up and leather and skinny trousers, and has an eccentric sense of style yet makes it incredibly sexy mmm....
 
I realised a few days ago that what I find attractive in men is all based on Michael! As a Teenager I fancied the pants off him, and now I must admit I have a bit of a thing for skinnier guys, with longer dark hair, who quite like wearing make up and leather and skinny trousers, and has an eccentric sense of style yet makes it incredibly sexy mmm....

Yes me too! :)
 
lol, I think I'm even more infatuated with him than I was. I don't think I ever realized how hot he was. I was always attracted to his personality, but now I'm also attracted to his body. I love everything about him :p
 
I have the biggest crush on his Bad & Dangerous era, to me, he looks the sexiest and hottest during that time, but of cos, he still looks great in the later era, I would be blushing whenever I am watching his video or concerts or interview, he can be the cutiest, the sexiest, the hottest, the most gorgeous, the most beautiful etc...

I am 32 now and I must confess that I am only crazily in love with him after he was no longer with us, the only impression of him before that was singing "Heal the world" and "We are the world" at the singing class when I am in school in the late 80s and early 90s, and I know nothing of him after that, I feel so so guilty of myself, I simply missed out so much over the years, I am so mad cos he was the greatest man that has ever lived, how come I have no sense at all in loving this man when he was alive?? this is a question I keep on asking myself :cry: All the other music is garbage to me ever since I started listening to his masterpiece, I promise I will love him forever and ever till my last breath....


omg! the same exact thing happened to me! how come i didn't love him before? I always defended him and never thought anything bad about him, like the molestation charges etc. i liked him before, but after his death i fell IN LOVE! its so weird. I hate myself for that because almost every artist I have ever really admired I have met or befriended (lol i have my ways). and i'm pretty sure i probably would have some how met MJ if I would have loved him this much before. Now i'm sad i never go to tell him a special he really is/was. And yes, after being his fan every other song i hear is garbage to me.
 
I realised a few days ago that what I find attractive in men is all based on Michael! As a Teenager I fancied the pants off him, and now I must admit I have a bit of a thing for skinnier guys, with longer dark hair, who quite like wearing make up and leather and skinny trousers, and has an eccentric sense of style yet makes it incredibly sexy mmm....

Me too! I love skinny guys, guys who are caring, nice, smart, having a sense of humor, wants to wait to have sex, and shy. I think about it now and I would dress like him(this is 2000 to now) with my black loafers, high pants/jeans and socks showing(my brother always joke and say do a MJ pose because of what I was wearing:lol:). I even roll my jacket and shirt sleeves up like him. Lol MJ has played a big part in my life.
 
omg! the same exact thing happened to me! how come i didn't love him before? I always defended him and never thought anything bad about him, like the molestation charges etc. i liked him before, but after his death i fell IN LOVE! its so weird. I hate myself for that because almost every artist I have ever really admired I have met or befriended (lol i have my ways). and i'm pretty sure i probably would have some how met MJ if I would have loved him this much before. Now i'm sad i never go to tell him a special he really is/was. And yes, after being his fan every other song i hear is garbage to me.

Oh...thank you Dori727....I feel a bit better when I know that I am not the only one...and I feel extremely sad when my friend teased me for watching him in youtube everyday and bought his album and memoir magazine only after his death, it make me feel more guilty with their teasing cos what they are saying is actually so true.......and yes, how stupid are we not loving him more when he was with us, and we will never get a chance to see a concert of him or to thank him in person on everything that he had done :cry:
 
Not alone; back in 2003, when I was watching the Bad video, I got up and made out with my tv screen. I was 11 years old. Good times.
:lol::D Such a mature girl! *thinkin back to when I was 11 years old* I was runnin around with my friends playing hide and seek or somethin:lol:

@the threadstarter: You don't have to feel embarrassed to have a crush on Michael. I'm sure most of us female fans do not objectify him when we say he's sexy. We all know his personality, soul, sense of humor combined with his, yeah, body and moves make him truly sexy. And we love Michael as a whole person, not just as our sex symbol that we sometimes have fantasies about. So, it ain't something we have to feel ashamed of.

Ever since he passed away, I've been depressed to the level that I don't know, don't wanna know how deep....and lately I find myself going to the threads about his sexiness tryin to find things to smile about...At least while I have those "Ooh he's sexy!" thoughts, I can smile...Other times, I'm living like a living dead. I do what I gotta do and go thorugh daily routines, but it's so hard to live with energy or motivation...:(:(:(
 
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