What's more annoying is the lack of people's empathy or disconcern over another's state of spirit first or at all. Jackson hated doing the Victory Tour, but relented to the pressures of his family; then he mostly accepted touring the Dangerous World Tour to raise funds for his Heal The World Foundation and to visit hospitals and children's homes and make more donations; pretty much the same goes for the HIStory Tour. Throughout all these mentioned period of times he often felt like crap, either emotionally or physically (throat problems, lack of sleeping, insomnia, other physical pains). He continued honoring some concerts even when fighting for his life from the mental exhaustion and dehydration caused by the devilish 1993 allegations. He continued performing Earth Song even after almost dying on the stage bridge from the MJ and Friends Seoul, Korea concert. If we were to believe the rumor that his former wife, Debbie Rowe, had a miscariage before having Prince, he still found the strength to perform, to be in front of the audience and dance when he couldn't find the strength to sing, or dance even when he felt he couldn't. He accepted doing the 31 This Is It, even though it consumed him enormously, and couldn't eat, sleep etc, and eventually died, and the examples could go on an on, of how Jackson always put his fans first and made superhuman efforts to be there for them, still managing to be good or great for them, disregarding his pains and disregarding what others' opinions of the performances are. Of course, many have said, 'Well, he should've stayed home if he was gonna lyp-synch'. And in that event, the same people would've complained or quit being fans if he had been a no-show, and the media would've have a field day with that, so he couldn't win either way. If he performed 100 percent live, complaints would've still poured in, like "Well, he didn't perform live good, he sucked'. And people are still amazed or annoyed by his perfectionism and couldn't understand it. That's 'cause he knew he was going to be ripped apart by critiques and be thrown like a 'hot potato', like his father would often promise him and his brothers.
How many of us complaining could do that? What he did. 'This Is It' was going to be made for his children and his fans for whom he lived. But what difference do all explanations of this kind make if Jackson didn't satisfy our wants and pleased our senses? Or if we don't believe in what he says or it doesn't matter? What if he didn't sing live for This Is It? What if his health would have deteriorated during the concerts and died shortly afterwards? What if he had needed to postpone or cancel more shows which eventually would have been the case? Already when a couple of dates were rescheduled before the start of the shows there was that unforgetable (?) mass hysteria, and some quit being fans and cussed him and whatever. He more than once said "One of my biggest fears is letting my fans down". Did that matter to some? We who're whining and complaining, do we ever even imagine the stress and turmoil Jackson faced all his life while a hunting evil voice resounding in the depths of his memory always warned "Do not disapoint the audience!"? Do we imagine what his soul must have hurt like at the mere idea, that he fought until his dying day, feeling weak and tired eventually because of the lack of sleep and proper feeding -> because of overworking himself for his fans who were his life? He committed his life to others, always trying to please them in whatever way he can. Because he was not God, he sometimes ended up inevitably disapointing others and, most likely, himself as well. There's lots of accounts of him suffering when thinking he was not good enough (i.e. regarding the Billie Jean spin at the Motown 25 show) or when he felt he didn't do enough for someone, and he bore no less than the whole world on his shoulders, because the whole world expected something from him. He always gave so much of himself, until he could no longer/he gave himself completely. Greed took him away, gushing from so many sides. And what's even more sad, human love.
And again, all points of this kind are pointless when our whims aren't being met, preferably or imperatively all of them.
It was an amazing show. I only found out later. Never bothered me. Most acts lip-sync or have backtracks as a 'safety net', so what's the big deal? The show was absolutely fantastic!
