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Who's doing ok now?

pianoman04

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The title should actually say Who's doing better now? Because I'm still not 100% over it and probably never will be...

I have to admit, when I saw those headlines written on my screen, I was in complete shock. My mom called me and I just broke down crying. I cried for 3 days off and on and today was the first day I could actually listen to his music for more than a few minutes. It's crazy how one minute I'm looking for plane tickets, and the next I'm hearing about his death. I'm still amazed. Anyway, Last night, I wrote Michael a letter. In it, I basically explained how much I admired him, how much he has taught me, and thanked him for his contributions to the world. I felt like I had to get some sort of closure to this. For a full day, I didn't look at any news headlines and I went outside and enjoyed life. I was tired of feeling sad because it felt like I would NEVER have been able to enjoy him again. At this point, I must say I'm feeling a lot better and have accepted that we all must go at one point or another. Michael left us some amazing gifts and my life is much better because of them. I thank him for that. None of us know when that exact moment shall be, but one day we must go. I found solace in the fact that I would rather have had known about and enjoyed Michael for 5 minutes rather than nothing at all. So, I thank him for the 50 years he has shared with us and I'll see him on the other side! :)
 
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im still not at the point where i can listen to his music but hopefully i will feel better as time goes on
 
Today was the first day yet I could actually listen and enjoy his music, without crying myself too much. I month ago i bought new monitor speakers to my studio from Genelec. So everything that plays, sounds Amazing! So i listened to some random songs on my Michael Spotify playlist. And almost the whole Dangerous album.

I understand that it's hard to listen. It's simple.. it hurts to much. But we all have to continue his Legacy. For the family, for the fans.. for the world.

I miss him so much.. I really wanted to see him July the 16th. I wanted to say goodbye..
 
None of us will ever fully be "the same" as we were prior to June 25, 2009.
Dont be surprised if the grief comes in waves. That's natural. Some of the waves will feel bigger than others.
In time, and everyone grieves differently and for different amounts of time, we will feel our smiles. Our real smiles. Michael wants us to keep moving forward. Keep spreading the love he wanted to spread. To help heal the wounds he wanted to heal.

His mission is done on earth and he has gone to his reward. We still have our missions to complete.

So stop and cry and grieve when you must. Rest when you have to. But then wipe the tears, and keep moving forward.

Reach out to another if you are feeling weak. That's ok too. You don't travel this path alone.
 
I haven't listened to his music yet.

I ate a little something today (had not eaten since before I learned the news) and I've been drinking lots of water.

I talked to a friend and had a pretty good cry. I'll go to church tomorrow.

The thing is, this is more than just him because I was already dealing with an unexpected death and some unresolved feelings and had not quite got to a place where I wasn't still crying. I wrote about it on my blog. The link is in my signature if you're interested.
 
I am still in too much shock to really say that I am okay because I still feel the sadness deep down inside, but I was able to watch the MJ Video marathons on VH1 Classics and MTV Jams. I started singing along and I even danced a little. It hurts, but the music lives on and still brings me happiness as it brings to all of his fans. Hang in there everybody. We are not alone. We have each other always.
 
"Dont be surprised if the grief comes in waves. That's natural. Some of the waves will feel bigger than others.
In time, and everyone grieves differently and for different amounts of time, we will feel our smiles."



This is exactly how I am grieving.....it comes and it goes.....There are times I can hear certain songs and ONLY certain songs and sing along.....I smile at memories....but sometimes I shed tears because suddenly it hits me all over again.....
I have yet to officially breakdown......

but we will all heal in time....

:(
 
its possible....we have to believe it is...Michael would want us to believe its possible.....

HUGZ....:(
 
i'm ok till i hear him sing i can look at my autogrpah and poster and smile but when i hear his music i kinda of lose it.
 
well my emotions havent changed for the better...not even for a second so i dont believe itll ever go away

i now feel even worse than on the day he died... i refused to believe that hes hone, but now that the truth has set in im emotionally raped
 
I have accepted the fact that Michael is no longer with us. However it does seem like I'm in a bit of a fog, maybe tunnel vision is the best way to describe it. It just seems so surreal. But I have to say that now I am concerned for his children and his family. I just hope that they are taken care of and that the family will be given the opportunity to make decisions that will be best for his kids. Those were Michael's babies, and they need to be protected. I just hope they let the man rest in peace. I don't want legal battles to drag on and on......
 
i'm just an emotion roller coaster right now. the hardest part for me is trying to go to sleep.
 
I felt better yesterday, stopped crying every 10 minutes and managed a few hours sleep. But today, I've had to come into work and i'm realising that my normal day to day life has to carry on without him in it. I feel lost, empty. I tried to listen to his music on the way to work, but had to turn it off because the tears began to roll down my cheeks. I ask myself how long it will be before I can listen to it again? I'm so sad, devastated, I just don't know what to do. Maybe after the funeral and when the media coverage calms down, I will be able to start celebrating his life and all that he's given me. Look after yourselves everyone. xxx
 
I'm doing better. I'm listening to Michael's music and enjoying it. I'm also not crying or feeling depressed while listening to it.
 
I'm still in denial. I know the truth, but I just don't want to think about it. I think about it a little at a time. Memories, here and there. Moments. shit...
 
I'm a bit better. I worked all day today and kept myself busy. I haven't listened to anything yet, I'm still not sure when I will. I've also tried to keep the news watching to a minimum.
 
I think I am getting through it
I miss him so much will always and it is difficult to bear the thought that I have some 50years left (If I play my cards right) and MJ is not going to be here
and every year I will have to remember this pain
but
the family photos on TMZ really cheered me up
I think I might even go and have lunch - after 3 days...I think I am almost through
 
Maybe i am dealing with this differently. I have been doing nothing but listening to his music and watching the news. I've been crying non-stop but during some of his songs I feel as if he is with me, watching from above.

I love my angel.

I'm so heartbroken. Michael is always on my mind (even when he was alive). I am 15 years old and I will miss him and cry for him for the rest of my life. I wish I didn't see this day.
 
I think I'm depressed I haven't eaten in two days and I feel a little sick but I think I'm doing better.
 
I feel a bit calmer, but still really distraught... of course I have the random outbursts of tears. :( And there are times I feel really, really low... little has changed. I haven't eaten that much for the past couple of days... and today was the day was the day I ate a little bit more, forcing myself to actually. But honestly, I have no petite. :( After, I just had an urge to puke. Gah. Watching the marathons... I would smile, and laugh at some parts cause he cheers me up, and then other times I'm bawling my eyes out because I miss him so much. :/
 
I wish they stop saying Michael Jackson is dead every where i go. It just sounds so heartless and cold. they can say passed away or something. i hate this.
 
I'm ok. I try hard to do what I feel MJ would do, or want. That has helped me cope.

Other than that, just depends on what's going on, what ppl are talking about or what I'm talking about. I catch myself in mid sentence just as fine and can be then unable to finish the sentence without crying wretched and bitter tears.

I thank my God above that I had no place to go for the last two days. I would have been completely unfunctional.
 
Man I don't know what to do. Nothing can erase this pain, nothing, nothing, nothing.
 
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