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A MUST READ FOR EVERYONE...the stages and symptoms of grief

moonstreet

Guests
This might help alot of you, those who are feeling confused and lost and dont know why. Ive only put some of the information here, click on the link to read the rest

http://home.att.net/~velvet-hammer/grief.html


Symptoms

Feel physically drained
Out of emotional control - feel good one minute; in the pits the next
Can't eat - food makes you sick. People tend to lose up to 40 pounds while grieving
Susceptible to illnesses
"Zombie Effect" Feelings shut down due to your body's natural coping mechanism
Brain is scrambled; can't think clearly or remember things
Cry continuously
Can't cry -- bottle it up (it will come out years later as problems)
Stay extremely busy so as not to have time to think
Drink too much
Take too many drugs
Can't sleep at night
Take naps frequently and are constantly tired
Sigh a lot
Talk about it over and over and dwell on it every moment
Lose interest in work; house; physical appearance
Neglect personal hygiene (don't brush teeth, take regular baths, or wash hair very often)
Don't care that you aren't taking care of yourself
Fantasize about the past
Suffer from extreme loneliness
Have lots of guilt about things you did or didn't do
Lack of interest in sex
Engage in self-criticism
Have a huge hole in your heart and soul
Relive and rehash scenes, conversations
Think you will never recover from your loss
Suffer from severe depression
See no reason to exist




The Stages of Grief

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance


Additional Stages

Shock and numbness
Guilt
Letting Go
Forgiveness
 
Blimey that is all so true, especially fantasizing about the past :(

Thanks for posting this moonstreet
 
Can't sleep at night
Take naps frequently and are constantly tired
Susceptible to illnesses
"Zombie Effect" Feelings shut down due to your body's natural coping mechanism

I'm the above right now.
 
Thank you for posting this Moonstreet..:) For all those folks who think that they will never get to the acceptance stage, you will. Everyone's grieving time is different we all move through the stages at different stages at our own pace. I know 3 years ago when my olderst sister died at 40 years old I thought I could deal with it on my own but I ended up going for counseling 4 months into the grieving process and it did help I did go for about 8 months and she tole me that the first year is the most difficult and she was right. you dont ever like it you just learn to live with it. I wish you all good success. If you feel you cannot deal with it alone please dont hesitate to get help. You may be saying I dont like to talk to people about things like this. I said the same but eventually I knew I had to do something I was getting far to sick.
 
Is this normal to still be at the first stage of denial six weeks on...?:(
I get the "Zombie Effect" 10 times a day!
Incredible... We're all so different and yet so same in our reactions to tragedy...
Thanks for posting that!
 
This is the following for me:

Feel physically drained
Out of emotional control - feel good one minute; in the pits the next
Can't eat (In the past month or so I had lost over 30 pounds)
Think you will never recover from your loss
Zombie Effect (Thats how I was during almost the first 3 weeks. And I still tend to feel like that sometimes.)
Have a huge hole in your heart and soul
Fantasize about the past
Can't sleep at night (I have such trouble sleeping at night. Especially since I keep having these vivid MJ dreams. Especially the one I had last night that was really vivid.)
Take naps frequently and are constantly tired
Suffer from severe depression
See no reason to exist (I was suicidal in the begining.)
Don't care that you aren't taking care of yourself

That last one was how I was during the first couple of weeks. I was so hoping that I would get so sick that I would die. Because I remember back in December of 2003 on a late Saturday afternoon. I had actually made myself really sick because I was so very upset over what was going on with Michael then. Especially since I totally remember the 93 allegations like it happen yesterday.
 
One thing out of that list that luckily escaped me was the suicidal thoughts. I find that quite strange, actually, because with all this hurt I'm feeling... It just hurts so freaking bad!!! And yet - I really want to go on, I really want to keep on living and even if I'm not okay physically and mentally, I just wanna be here and do good things...
But... It's such a scary thought, but it's true - if THIS happened when I was around the age of 14, I think I would have killed myself. I sincerily think so. It scares the living shit out of me, because I just KNOW I would've done that...
I'm actually shaking right now, had to share that
 
MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
I remember back in December of 2003 on a late Saturday afternoon. I had actually made myself really sick because I was so very upset over what was going on with Michael then. Especially since I totally remember the 93 allegations like it happen yesterday.
Click to expand...

You know, our bodies react like that to stress, I can totally relate.
I could never imagine this happening before, I mean - yeah, I would get nervous and have stomach cramps before an important exam, or feel so resigned and weak when a family member passed on, but never to the point of actually being sick...
And, you know, on the day of that commotion at Forest Lawn cemetery, before the memorial... I caught the news at work that Michael is going to be buried, that his family is arriving to the cemetery... And being at work I could not verify anything, you know, look at tv or listen to the radio, I got the CNN website going, but I had no sound, so I just thought - OMG, THEY'RE BURYING HIM!:bugeyed
And I just - instantly, in like a second - started feeling sick. I got the head ache of the century, and I just had to go and vomit, and I felt so crap that I actually had to go home early that day, I just couldn't even see the comp screen properly - even though I was fine only seconds before.
Michael Jackson having a grave, Michael Jackson buried - it just makes what happened too final, to real, I just can't bear it - still, even now.
I still can't believe one thought can make you sick, but I'm the living proof that it can. So sick that you can't even remember much of that day at all...
 
moonstreet said:
This might help alot of you, those who are feeling confused and lost and dont know why. Ive only put some of the information here, click on the link to read the rest

http://home.att.net/~velvet-hammer/grief.html


Symptoms

Feel physically drained *YES
Out of emotional control - feel good one minute; in the pits the next *YES
Can't eat - food makes you sick. People tend to lose up to 40 pounds while grieving *YES
Susceptible to illnesses *NOT YET
"Zombie Effect" Feelings shut down due to your body's natural coping mechanism *YES
Brain is scrambled; can't think clearly or remember things *YES
Cry continuously *OMG YES MINIMUN 3 TIMES A DAY, SOMETIMES 7 OR MORE
Can't cry -- bottle it up (it will come out years later as problems)
Stay extremely busy so as not to have time to think *THE FISRT DAYS NOW I AM JUST DOING THING AS A AUTOMATIC REACTION
Drink too much *YES. I TRY TO HAVE SOME FUN BY GOING OUT TO SEE IF I COULD FORGET, BUT I ENDEN UP CRYING LIKE A BABY
Take too many drugs
Can't sleep at night *YES
Take naps frequently and are constantly tired
Sigh a lot *YES
Talk about it over and over and dwell on it every moment *YES
Lose interest in work; house; physical appearance *YES
Neglect personal hygiene (don't brush teeth, take regular baths, or wash hair very often)
Don't care that you aren't taking care of yourself *YES
Fantasize about the past *YES
Suffer from extreme loneliness *YES
Have lots of guilt about things you did or didn't do *YES
Lack of interest in sex *YES... VERY
Engage in self-criticism *YES
Have a huge hole in your heart and soul *THIS IS THE WORST
Relive and rehash scenes, conversations *YES
Think you will never recover from your loss *YES
Suffer from severe depression *YES
See no reason to exist


The Stages of Grief

Denial *
Anger *
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance


Additional Stages

Shock and numbness
Guilt
Letting Go
Forgiveness
Click to expand...

Is it normal past to anger and then come back to denial? Because I think that happend to me. I dont know.
I also wanted to ask if someone knows. Is it normal that I know I this depressed and I dont want to get better?
I dont want to get better, the just idea that I can feel better makes me feel sick. I dont want to forget and heal and get over this. This idea terrifies me, like if I feel better it would mean I stop loving him. Is this normal?
I want to be sad and crying and angry for him always. If I stop griefing I feel I will lose him from my heart and that is just to painfull and to scary and to horrible.
Is just I dont want to lose him, not yet. I am not ready :(
 
im really glad this article is here. everyone grieves differently so the most kind thing you can do for yourself or others who are hurting and having a difficult time is to be patient and understanding.

and dont let anyone tell you whats normal and isnt normal. grieve in your own time. in your own way.
 
Thank you for posting this, these are how i feel

Feel physically drained
Out of emotional control - feel good one minute; in the pits the next
Susceptible to illnesses
Cry continuously (I cry alot because i live alone 24/ 7 with no company but my cats)
Can't sleep at night
Lose interest in work; house; physical appearance ( i dont see the point in doing something when some else can do 10 x better than me, or no point is doing something if its not going to get noticed)
Neglect personal hygiene (don't brush teeth, take regular baths, or wash hair very often)
Fantasize about the past (i fantasize every day, find it had to tell whats real and what isnt)
Suffer from extreme loneliness
Have lots of guilt about things you did or didn't do
Lack of interest in sex (I have felt this my whole life, Ive being single for 8 years now)
See no reason to exist

I have so many mixed emotions i dont know how to feel :(
 
Thanks for this post if it can help some people...

I still live a lot of those symptoms..., cry, zombie, hole, don't care about anything...

man that's hard!
 
A note to pg13 and anyone else :

Yes you will fluctuate between the Stages of Grief. You will think you are moving forward, and then you find yourself moving back again, and this is all perfectly normal. I had a horrendous period during my 30's when I dealt with some of the most stressful events that can happen in your life, in a matter of about 5 years :

marriage
moving house
redundancy
my father's death
my partner being redundant
my partners father having 2 strokes
my marriage breaking down

I had to get help from a stress counsellor as I didn't have the tools to cope on my own at the time. She was trained in CBT and gave me the tools I still use today to cope with stress.

I like to know what is happening when and why, and I found it very difficult just to sit back and wait to pass through those stages, not knowing how long it would last or how I'd feel.

The counsellor used to say 'you might not like it, but you CAN live with it' and she was right.
You will come through eventually, in your own time and in your own way when YOU are ready. There is not a 'right' or 'wrong' way to grieve.
 
My main one was a huge hole in my heart in soul... I actually described it exactly like this before reading it over here... also, not controlling emotions, I cry all of a sudden for him... but the hole was huge. It was like physically painful and numb at the same time (lol... can't describe it...). Now the hole... seems less heavy. I honestly don't know how I feel now, I feel zombie-like I guess....
I just miss him so much.
 
moonstreet...thank you for posting this.
I couldn't agree more with what you said.i'm having lots of the symptoms you mentioned like:

Feel physically drained

Out of emotional control - feel good one minute; in the pits the next

Can't eat

Brain is scrambled; can't think clearly or remember things

Can't cry -- bottle it up (it will come out years later as problems)

Can't sleep at night

Lose interest in work; house; physical appearance

Don't care that you aren't taking care of yourself

Fantasize about the past

Have a huge hole in your heart and soul

Think you will never recover from your loss

Suffer from severe depression

See no reason to exist


Have no idea in what stage of grief i am...i would say i am feeling all of them at the same if that is possible.It depeneds so much on how my day is going
 
I was flip flopping between the different stages. I'm not as depressed as I was now. I've come to accept it because I know he's around in spirit watching over everyone and he's not really gone. He's just in a far away place that most people can't reach here on earth. His death and other people's stories here and elsewhere have made me really rethink about the existence of an afterlife. Well, that's what I believe anyway. I still feel frustration and anger though because his death was wrong and wasn't supposed to happen, and some guilt too. I think that part at least will always bother me. Of course I still want him to be alive and making things happen here, but unfortunately that's no longer possible. :(

These are the things I've felt over the weeks

Feel physically drained-Yes, but I always have some degree of that anyway.

"Zombie Effect" Feelings shut down due to your body's natural coping mechanism-This happened to me right after his death. I really didn't feel anything all about the situation until I watched the memorial.

Can't cry -- bottle it up (it will come out years later as problems)-I've always had difficulty with this because I've always not liked showing my emotions. It's become very difficult for me to even un-bottle my emotions anymore. I've gotten teary eyed over his death, but never full on crying. I wish I could full on cry because it's really how I feel inside about the whole situation.

Stay extremely busy so as not to have time to think-I've kept myself busy watching his videos and listening to his music. I can't think of much else.

Take too many drugs-Sometimes I like to take something hoping it will make me feel numb.

Can't sleep at night-Sometimes it's hard because I'm always hearing his songs in my head all the time.

Talk about it over and over and dwell on it every moment-I talk to myself and to Michael quite a bit

Fantasize about the past-His death really couldn't come at a worse time because at the time I was feeling really nostalgic, going through my childhood stuff and feeling both happy and sad. I really wish I was still a kid. I keep wishing I'd wake up and be a kid again. So hearing my childhood idol died made me feel worse and more longing for that time. It feels like part of my memories died.

Also remembering of happier times, but I now get thoughts wishing I had a time machine so I could stop Michael's death from happening or change things to make his life less stressful and traumatic.

Have lots of guilt about things you did or didn't do-I feel a lot of guilt about not being a "better fan" as I see it. I wasn't following his career as closely as I should have. I'll probably always feel a degree of guilt about that.

Have a huge hole in your heart and soul-I do feel a big emptiness. I still can't or don't want to imagine the world without MJ.

Think you will never recover from your loss-Well at this point I just don't know when I'll stop thinking about him. I don't really want to.

Suffer from severe depression-I've always suffered from some mild depression, but have never experienced grief, and for a person whom I didn't even know personally. It's a strange experience and I don't feel like I can really be open about it with anyone except the people here.

See no reason to exist-I have thoughts of wishing to be with Michael, but only if I didn't have to die to do it. I do want to keep on living for my family and be a better person.
 
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pg13 said:
Is it normal that I know I this depressed and I dont want to get better?
I dont want to get better, the just idea that I can feel better makes me feel sick. I dont want to forget and heal and get over this. This idea terrifies me, like if I feel better it would mean I stop loving him. Is this normal?
I want to be sad and crying and angry for him always. If I stop griefing I feel I will lose him from my heart and that is just to painfull and to scary and to horrible.
Is just I dont want to lose him, not yet. I am not ready :(
Click to expand...

It's hard to put it into words, but I think I know the feeling you're talking about.
And I can only put it down to one thing - you're just not ready to let Michael go yet, and that's why you're feeling this way.
You're not ready to accept that he's gone. It seems unfair, injust, riddiculous and not really happening, a nightmare we're all going to wake up from, right?
You're still shocked and grieving for him, and it seems that if you stop the fact that he's gone will somehow become a reality...
That's the denial part.
I'm still like that as well. I refuse to accept that he's gone, I refuse to celebrate his life because it shouldn't be this way, we should be getting excited at him performing again - not shedding tears over his passing and paying tributes, no no.
I think the best we can do is just - give ourselves time. As long as each and every one of us needs. Let's be sad if that's how we feel. Cry when we need to cry - don't bottle it up. I tried, I nearly ended up insane - don't recommend it.
Let it out, come on here, talk to us - together we are stronger. Take great care of yourself.:better:
 
Thank you for posting this moonstreet.
as of right now, I'm slowly starting to accept it, but I'm not there yet
 
hmmm im not sure what stage im in.. I still cannot come to terms with this or accept this. Its an emotional rollercoaster. My stomach is churning and hard to breathe still.. im a mess
 
Kurt said:
Thank you for posting this, these are how i feel

Feel physically drained
Out of emotional control - feel good one minute; in the pits the next
Susceptible to illnesses
Cry continuously (I cry alot because i live alone 24/ 7 with no company but my cats)
Can't sleep at night
Lose interest in work; house; physical appearance ( i dont see the point in doing something when some else can do 10 x better than me, or no point is doing something if its not going to get noticed)
Neglect personal hygiene (don't brush teeth, take regular baths, or wash hair very often)
Fantasize about the past (i fantasize every day, find it had to tell whats real and what isnt)
Suffer from extreme loneliness
Have lots of guilt about things you did or didn't do
Lack of interest in sex (I have felt this my whole life, Ive being single for 8 years now)
See no reason to exist

I have so many mixed emotions i dont know how to feel :(
Click to expand...

Nooo Kurt plase dont think like that! I know you are special, just like the rest of us. And I know deep in your heart you know that too! I know that you can do a great job and there is people who care about you. Michael a lot of times bealive he wasnt good enough and we all always wonder how could this be??? Sometimes we are too hard on our selfs!
You are not alone, at least I know we care here! I know some times is hard to conect with people, but you can conect as well as in real life as in here, really bealive me when I say this! :hug:

slimblonde2 said:
A note to pg13 and anyone else :

Yes you will fluctuate between the Stages of Grief. You will think you are moving forward, and then you find yourself moving back again, and this is all perfectly normal. I had a horrendous period during my 30's when I dealt with some of the most stressful events that can happen in your life, in a matter of about 5 years :

marriage
moving house
redundancy
my father's death
my partner being redundant
my partners father having 2 strokes
my marriage breaking down

I had to get help from a stress counsellor as I didn't have the tools to cope on my own at the time. She was trained in CBT and gave me the tools I still use today to cope with stress.

I like to know what is happening when and why, and I found it very difficult just to sit back and wait to pass through those stages, not knowing how long it would last or how I'd feel.

The counsellor used to say 'you might not like it, but you CAN live with it' and she was right.
You will come through eventually, in your own time and in your own way when YOU are ready. There is not a 'right' or 'wrong' way to grieve.
Click to expand...

Fluffy_Oz said:
It's hard to put it into words, but I think I know the feeling you're talking about.
And I can only put it down to one thing - you're just not ready to let Michael go yet, and that's why you're feeling this way.
You're not ready to accept that he's gone. It seems unfair, injust, riddiculous and not really happening, a nightmare we're all going to wake up from, right?
You're still shocked and grieving for him, and it seems that if you stop the fact that he's gone will somehow become a reality...
That's the denial part.
I'm still like that as well. I refuse to accept that he's gone, I refuse to celebrate his life because it shouldn't be this way, we should be getting excited at him performing again - not shedding tears over his passing and paying tributes, no no.
I think the best we can do is just - give ourselves time. As long as each and every one of us needs. Let's be sad if that's how we feel. Cry when we need to cry - don't bottle it up. I tried, I nearly ended up insane - don't recommend it.
Let it out, come on here, talk to us - together we are stronger. Take great care of yourself.:better:
Click to expand...

Slimblonde and Fluffy! Thank you so much! Is good to know that at least I am not going crazy!
Is just like Fluffy describes! I so hard to explain. If I dont cry or feel sad I feel guilty, wich is worst cause I feel I dont love him enough and that is just the worst of all. If I found my self smiling or relax I start to feel guilt. Is so irrational, cause I know Michael wouldnt want this, but I cant help it.
And the worst is that is hard to find support around you. I know my sister understand, but I also know she doesn't like to see me like this and she can't help to be mad at me beacuse of this. I know that she is thinkis "ok so Michael died... get over, I am tired to see you sad, be smailing and happy again!" And for the rest of people around me I dont even talk about this cause I know they will just dont undertand how can I be so depressed about a person I never even meet.
I am so lucky that at least I have people here to undertand.
Thank you so much really! You make me feel better!:)
 
moonstreet said:
This might help alot of you, those who are feeling confused and lost and dont know why. Ive only put some of the information here, click on the link to read the rest

http://home.att.net/~velvet-hammer/grief.html


Symptoms

Feel physically drained
Out of emotional control - feel good one minute; in the pits the next
Can't eat - food makes you sick. People tend to lose up to 40 pounds while grieving
Susceptible to illnesses
"Zombie Effect" Feelings shut down due to your body's natural coping mechanism
Brain is scrambled; can't think clearly or remember things
Cry continuously
Can't cry -- bottle it up (it will come out years later as problems)
Stay extremely busy so as not to have time to think
Drink too much
Take too many drugs
Can't sleep at night
Take naps frequently and are constantly tired
Sigh a lot
Talk about it over and over and dwell on it every moment
Lose interest in work; house; physical appearance
Neglect personal hygiene (don't brush teeth, take regular baths, or wash hair very often)
Don't care that you aren't taking care of yourself
Fantasize about the past
Suffer from extreme loneliness
Have lots of guilt about things you did or didn't do
Lack of interest in sex
Engage in self-criticism
Have a huge hole in your heart and soul
Relive and rehash scenes, conversations
Think you will never recover from your loss
Suffer from severe depression
See no reason to exist




The Stages of Grief

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance


Additional Stages

Shock and numbness
Guilt
Letting Go
Forgiveness
Click to expand...

wow! i am in trouble. thanks for posting
 
Thanks for posting this as i can so relate. For me I have a sense of pressure to hurry through the stages, not only cos i'm a mom...but because I go back to uni soon to begin my third year. I know this is gonna need my full attention, so i can't afford to take my time. Also i'm gonna have to start socialising with people who didn't care for him and are vocal about it. Finally i've battled with depression for a long long time, feel totally defeated by this.
 
pg13 said:
Nooo Kurt plase dont think like that! I know you are special, just like the rest of us. And I know deep in your heart you know that too! I know that you can do a great job and there is people who care about you. Michael a lot of times bealive he wasnt good enough and we all always wonder how could this be??? Sometimes we are too hard on our selfs!
You are not alone, at least I know we care here! I know some times is hard to conect with people, but you can conect as well as in real life as in here, really bealive me when I say this! :hug:
Click to expand...

Thank you so much

When i read that i felt like crying, I have felt like this forever, i feel that i have disappointed alot of ppl in life. Especially my parents because i didnt turn out the way they wont me to and my mums really ill, shes that ill she wont tell me wots wrong with her until im abit older and i think i deserve to know im 25 into weeks.

I also feeel im not the person i want to be, Thats why I feel i can connect to MJ, especial the song man in the mirror thats how i feel deep inside, MJ was the only R N B/ pop artist i liked and knows hes gone it hurts so much, no lies im actually crying right now while i type this listen to Wanna be starting somethin'.

when i was young it was always hard for me to socialize with ppl i never had any friends at all, it was like no one wants to talk to a poor kid like me. I remember on my 6 Birthday i hadnt out Invations to everyone in my class and only one person turned up, my mum was going thru a hard time and still is to this day and forgot it was my birthday my dad was drunk before 6pm and had to give my mum the money to by the cake etc... and she went to the pub instead so there was no party. :( the kids parnets came to pick him up, he told his parents that there was no party and they though it was only a scheme to make some money and didnt believe me that it was my birthday and took the money back they gave me for my birthday.. the next day i went into school and the kid told everyone and they turned against me the only person that believe me was my school teacher

So i had no friend to socialize with and today it still feel that way, Im scared encase i no one likes me for whom i am, Ive been turned down and rejected by ppl so many times that its torn me up so badly that i cant put the pieces back together it hurts so much.

All the girls i asked out even turned me down, when i was 7 a give this girl roses and chocolates for valentines day she thru the roses in the bin and shared the chocolates out with her friend and everyone laughed at me.

I feel im meant to be alone and no seems to care or understand how it feels to be me,

My life hasnt turned out the way i wanted it to and i feel ive wasted so much of it, and i also feel no one seem to care i'm alone and always will be. :(
 
Kurt said:
Thank you so much

When i read that i felt like crying, I have felt like this forever, i feel that i have disappointed alot of ppl in life. Especially my parents because i didnt turn out the way they wont me to and my mums really ill, shes that ill she wont tell me wots wrong with her until im abit older and i think i deserve to know im 25 into weeks.

I also feeel im not the person i want to be, Thats why I feel i can connect to MJ, especial the song man in the mirror thats how i feel deep inside, MJ was the only R N B/ pop artist i liked and knows hes gone it hurts so much, no lies im actually crying right now while i type this listen to Wanna be starting somethin'.

when i was young it was always hard for me to socialize with ppl i never had any friends at all, it was like no one wants to talk to a poor kid like me. I remember on my 6 Birthday i hadnt out Invations to everyone in my class and only one person turned up, my mum was going thru a hard time and still is to this day and forgot it was my birthday my dad was drunk before 6pm and had to give my mum the money to by the cake etc... and she went to the pub instead so there was no party. :( the kids parnets came to pick him up, he told his parents that there was no party and they though it was only a scheme to make some money and didnt believe me that it was my birthday and took the money back they gave me for my birthday.. the next day i went into school and the kid told everyone and they turned against me the only person that believe me was my school teacher

So i had no friend to socialize with and today it still feel that way, Im scared encase i no one likes me for whom i am, Ive been turned down and rejected by ppl so many times that its torn me up so badly that i cant put the pieces back together it hurts so much.

All the girls i asked out even turned me down, when i was 7 a give this girl roses and chocolates for valentines day she thru the roses in the bin and shared the chocolates out with her friend and everyone laughed at me.

I feel im meant to be alone and no seems to care or understand how it feels to be me,

My life hasnt turned out the way i wanted it to and i feel ive wasted so much of it, and i also feel no one seem to care i'm alone and always will be. :(
Click to expand...

OMG, Kurt... I don't know what to say, you know, it rarely happens with me, but I really, truly, don't know what to say...
It is one of the saddest things I've ever read in my life, it is just... I'm speechless.
I'm actually wiping tears away furiously right now, thinking of how it must have felt for you to go through something like this...

You know, I found that too - people are SOOO CRUEL!
I've been through a rough patch myself when I was younger, I moved from one city to another when I was 12 and being the new kid at school was a nightmare... Especially that I was used to being liked, accepted, listened to, you know, the leader of the pack, and here I am having stones thrown at me...:bugeyed
It was such a wake up call! But I'm the sort of person who acts all tough, and I fought back... It's only made things worse, but I wouldn't let up - just the way I am. It's changed once I finished primary school, high school was awesome, but - looking back, it has left some scars, mental scars. It's changed me as a person. Perhaps in a good way, because I learnt humility, I learnt to face the fear, I learnt to stand up for myself and my principles, I learnt than not everyone is nice and can be reasoned with... But I'm also less open now, a lot more insecure, I don't trust people like I used to, I've become a lot more judgemental...

It probably was nothing in comparison to what you've been through, but knowing how cruel and inconsiderate people can be, how they can destroy the joy in your life, I feel your pain, I really do.

I don't know you, but reading your posts you come across as a very decent, considerate, intelligent, well-spoken fella with a heart the size of Europe and a lot to offer, and it just pains me to see that people that most likely are not even half of what you are have made you feel so bad...

You're a good person!!!! SEE IT, PLEASE, SEEEEE ITTTTT!!!!!

Lots of hugs to you!:better:
 
Fluffy_Oz said:
OMG, Kurt... I don't know what to say, you know, it rarely happens with me, but I really, truly, don't know what to say...
It is one of the saddest things I've ever read in my life, it is just... I'm speechless.
I'm actually wiping tears away furiously right now, thinking of how it must have felt for you to go through something like this...

You know, I found that too - people are SOOO CRUEL!
I've been through a rough patch myself when I was younger, I moved from one city to another when I was 12 and being the new kid at school was a nightmare... Especially that I was used to being liked, accepted, listened to, you know, the leader of the pack, and here I am having stones thrown at me...:bugeyed
It was such a wake up call! But I'm the sort of person who acts all tough, and I fought back... It's only made things worse, but I wouldn't let up - just the way I am. It's changed once I finished primary school, high school was awesome, but - looking back, it has left some scars, mental scars. It's changed me as a person. Perhaps in a good way, because I learnt humility, I learnt to face the fear, I learnt to stand up for myself and my principles, I learnt than not everyone is nice and can be reasoned with... But I'm also less open now, a lot more insecure, I don't trust people like I used to, I've become a lot more judgemental...

It probably was nothing in comparison to what you've been through, but knowing how cruel and inconsiderate people can be, how they can destroy the joy in your life, I feel your pain, I really do.

I don't know you, but reading your posts you come across as a very decent, considerate, intelligent, well-spoken fella with a heart the size of Europe and a lot to offer, and it just pains me to see that people that most likely are not even half of what you are have made you feel so bad...

You're a good person!!!! SEE IT, PLEASE, SEEEEE ITTTTT!!!!!

Lots of hugs to you!:better:
Click to expand...

Thank you so much,

i dont mean to bring tears to anyones eyes with any of the posts, i make im not that kind of person.. My life got much worse when i was older, My father kick us all out the house i the day i was born said I (ME) was the unwanted kid in the family and 2 kids are enough thats when my mum because really ill she ended up in attenisive care units for 11 years of her life . (we tried to get a few times to get the family back together but my dad didnt care about anything but booze) my hole family were broken up and put into care and i was only allowed to see my parents once a week for 30 minutes, i must have moved back and forward about 10 times different familes and schools it was a totally nightmare there was time i never even unpacked my bags because i wasnt to sure how long id been staying at that home. I lost so much stuff especially MJ stuff i collected over the years my careers (foster parents) thru it all out, they wouldnt accept me for whom i was it hurt me so much even the ppl i tired to love turned against me even set me up to make me out to be the bad person so i had a reason to move, everyone in the house know i was innocent but stuck by the careers side and not mine not one person would back me me, Was told i didnt have any friends and wasnt allowed to go out after school.

Wasnt even allowed to go and see MJ in 1993 the only time he ever played in Glasgow :( and never got to see him live once :(

Everyone in school said i was weird because i was different, no one would sit next to me at school even in group activites i was always the last person left standin when groups were made.

when i turned 16 my dad came back begging for forgiveness, he was my father after all and i didnt want to grow up without known whom my father was. So i forgave him and gave him another chance, but everytime i went down to see him he was never in and always in the pub, I left him a note saying if you ever want to see me again shape up and call me did he ever call NO.

Then 2 year ago he finally phone asking why he never sees me i told him striaght that he was always drunk and never in. None of my family ever kept in touch with me until i turned 20, which makes it so hard for me, the only person that bored with me was my big brother hows 30 but has a mind of a 6 year old i even find it really hard to communicate with him or anyone in my family because none of them has any of the same interests as me, when my only friend meet them he even asked if theyre really my parents becaue they dont acting or look like me.

When i was 16 i got into college and was granted with £12,000 at that time my sister had 3 kids it was near christmas time and she was about to get kicked out her house i didnt wont to see the kids homeless at christmas so i gave for £600 to pay her rent but she blew it on booze and drugs and came back begging for me more, ive never seen any of that money, She locked me in the house with 3 kids when i was 15 for 24 expecting me to look after them and promised to give me the £600 back when she got him and did she no instead she gave me sauages and chips which where cold.


I was like the forgotten child they never celebrate any of my birthdays or gave me anything for my christmas but my big brother and sister got eveything i got nothing.

Life doesnt get better it gets worse.
 
the best thing people can do when they are grieving is see a counsellor or doctor or psychologist. if you do it all alone youre risking peril in so many ways because you could be in a depression and not thinking clearly or not caring what happens to you and those are warning signs to look out for. also not eating can lead to further health complications
 
I think I'm in denial...just blocking it out and pretending it hasn't happened for the most part. Eugh this sucks.

Thanks for posting moonstreet.
 
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