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What are you doing this very second?

*Billie Jean* said:
Listening to my beloved Michael and getting ready to go to bed. I just wish I could sleep forever. Because I miss Michael so much when I am awake. :weeping:



I know it really is hard. :hug: I have depression, and my depression was so bad today that I took a lot of Xanax. My grief is so intense and it is only getting worse everyday. I feel more empty and lost everyday. I thought I was getting better and then something snapped and I am a mess again. :boohoo: It is like I take 2 steps forward in this game and then draw a go back to the beginning card.
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That is how it is with me. I truly thought I was slowly getting over my depression over Michael. Until I had that really sad MJ dream last week which cause my depression to become worst. And I really did thought I stop having those sad MJ dreams. And I too still wish I could sleep forever. I just tend to miss and think about Michael too much when I am awake.


Right now I am just going up to bed to get a couple of hours of good comforting sleep. Hopefully maybe a little bit more than that. Which that is all the sleep I can really get anymore. My depression is just not letting me get the amount of sleep that I used to get. And I so miss that.
 
Just being really annoy and angry that I only gotten less than 90 minutes worth of sleep. And this is all Dr. Death's fault. Because if he hadn't kill my beloved Michael. I will not be suffering from depression. And I still wouldn't be having problems sleeping.
 
What are you doing this very second?
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At this very second, I am in deep mourning over the banning of MissyJackson. I was crushed by the news. I am currently curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb and crying my eyes out.

I hurt.

If there's anyone out there reading this that feels the same way, you are not alone. We can be there for each other at this difficult time.

We miss you Missy.
 
Agent M said:
At this very second, I am in deep mourning over the banning of MissyJackson. I was crushed by the news. I am currently curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb and crying my eyes out.

I hurt.

If there's anyone out there reading this that feels the same way, you are not alone. We can be there for each other at this difficult time.

We miss you Missy.
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I wonder what had happen to her.


Right now I am just sitting here relaxing still miserably thinking about my Michael. And just plain wishing I was dead and with him now. It is probably the only way I will ever get over my deep depression over him.
 
posting here, eating a whole bar of chocolate and listening to 80's music :p
 
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