What are you doing this very second?

Listening to my beloved Michael and getting ready to go to bed. I just wish I could sleep forever. Because I miss Michael so much when I am awake. :weeping:



I know it really is hard. :hug: I have depression, and my depression was so bad today that I took a lot of Xanax. My grief is so intense and it is only getting worse everyday. I feel more empty and lost everyday. I thought I was getting better and then something snapped and I am a mess again. :boohoo: It is like I take 2 steps forward in this game and then draw a go back to the beginning card.

That is how it is with me. I truly thought I was slowly getting over my depression over Michael. Until I had that really sad MJ dream last week which cause my depression to become worst. And I really did thought I stop having those sad MJ dreams. And I too still wish I could sleep forever. I just tend to miss and think about Michael too much when I am awake.


Right now I am just going up to bed to get a couple of hours of good comforting sleep. Hopefully maybe a little bit more than that. Which that is all the sleep I can really get anymore. My depression is just not letting me get the amount of sleep that I used to get. And I so miss that.
 
Just being really annoy and angry that I only gotten less than 90 minutes worth of sleep. And this is all Dr. Death's fault. Because if he hadn't kill my beloved Michael. I will not be suffering from depression. And I still wouldn't be having problems sleeping.
 
What are you doing this very second?
At this very second, I am in deep mourning over the banning of MissyJackson. I was crushed by the news. I am currently curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb and crying my eyes out.

I hurt.

If there's anyone out there reading this that feels the same way, you are not alone. We can be there for each other at this difficult time.

We miss you Missy.
 
At this very second, I am in deep mourning over the banning of MissyJackson. I was crushed by the news. I am currently curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb and crying my eyes out.

I hurt.

If there's anyone out there reading this that feels the same way, you are not alone. We can be there for each other at this difficult time.

We miss you Missy.

I wonder what had happen to her.


Right now I am just sitting here relaxing still miserably thinking about my Michael. And just plain wishing I was dead and with him now. It is probably the only way I will ever get over my deep depression over him.
 
posting here, eating a whole bar of chocolate and listening to 80's music :p
 
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