I'm about to go on a long ramble and I don't expect much support so bare with me...
So, I have been increasingly thinking about something. I've really noticed a decline in what I believe it be good moral values. Is it just me or has sex become the new handshake?
I come from a small town in Missouri. I was taught that sex was something special and you shouldn't just give it to anyone.
Falling in love with with my now husband and getting to know each other stirred many emotions in me and challenged the way I think and feel and how I was raised. At first, when I discovered things about him, I had to ask myself what I could live with and what I was willing to compromise. No, he isn't a bad person at all. He's wonderful. Just like all of us, he's made mistakes but in his case he didn't realize they were mistakes until he got with me. He actually feels shame for his past antics. I guess now that he's content he doesn't really know why he behaved the way he did other than being young and stupid (his words, not mine).
Moving to California I have met so many shady types, but it seems to be so commonly accepted. No one gets married anymore (or worse they do get married but have open relationships which defeats the purpose all together). Hookups are the norm and encouraged. Graigslist is a place where you put up sex ads, selling your body right along with a lamp shade (or soul if you ask me). The internet is a blessing in many ways but also a breeding ground for filth. Now all the pervs have a way to organize and spread. In many ways it's the decline of our civilization as we know it. As much good as it does it can do twice the damage.
I realize the world is a big place and I didn't grow up under a rock but it seems like no one cares about their own bodies and health anymore. It's all wham bam thank you mam. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm not trying to say anyone is bad. I'm really not. This is all just my personal views from what I've experienced.
There seems to be a real disconnect between sex and emotion. I think with the rise of mainstream sexuality and internet porn/hookup sites that many have lost their ability to connect and love. It's harder now. We get our just desserts first and then don't want to take the time to know the person afterward. I think that's why more and more people remain single. I think that's part of why so many people get divorced. They don't know how to hang in there and love one another unconditionally. They're so used to getting the lovin' and then leavin'.
I don't expect anyone to wait to have sex until marriage, but at the same time I wish people had a little more decency and respect when it comes to sex and their own bodies. I wish people had higher priorities for themselves. I wish sex wasn't the common denominator. No, sex isn't bad. It's actually really great. I just think it's better when it's with someone you love or care for in some capacity. As much as people like to say it, no, we are NOT animals and no we shouldn't be humping everything in sight like a common dog.
It might seem odd coming from a Madonna fan but just because I admire someone who is a sexual icon doesn't mean that's who I am as a person. I am a multi-faceted individual and sex is a part of that but not who I am. I am certainly not defined by my sexuality. I guess it may seem like a contradiction and maybe it is. I dunno. I don't think anyone is evil for exploring their sexuality but at the same time I don't think it's good to become a drive-thru window. There needs to be some sort of balance.
I guess I'm just old fashioned. An old romantic who believes and wants love and emotion over cheap and tawdry sex. I'm not expecting much support with this topic. I've spent most of my time at forums being chastised for my beliefs. I couldn't count how many times I've been called a prude and told to come in to the modern world where my beliefs/values/morals are concerned. Usually I am told that I am so against scandalous sex acts like threesomes simply because I've never experienced it. No, I assure that's not why. I am against those things because I couldn't live with myself had I ever done such a thing.
I guess I don't fit in and never will. So has been my life. If being modern and with the in crowd means supporting and being involved in sex parties (orgies), having friends with benefits, or fulfilling my sexual desires with the click of a mouse, then I'll gladly remain a wallflower.
I was raised with too much self respect. I realize right and wrong isn't always black and white, but then again not everything should be gray.
I do believe in live and let live. I would never try to tell anyone what is right or wrong for them. This is just my own personal view. I never judge the people around me or try to make them feel bad. This is just something that stews inside of me. It's life experiences and observations I have made since my move.
As a gay man this may seem odd or contradictory since so many condemn gays and consider my life sinful and damning but I guess that's part of my frustration. Yes, I'm gay, but I do have high standards. I don't sleep around nor would I ever. I don't believe in multiple sex partners. None of that stuff is for me and unfortunately I get grouped in with stereotypes about what it is to be gay. Or rather, what misinformed people think it is that us gays do.
I guess I just long for the days when people connected on a higher level.
Have fun and live your life, just be safe and take care of yourself.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.
P.S. I think my beliefs are much of the reason why MJ was/is so appealing to me. I could sense the innocence. I felt like he and I could relate. I often felt so lonely and like I didn't belong on so many levels growing up.
So, I have been increasingly thinking about something. I've really noticed a decline in what I believe it be good moral values. Is it just me or has sex become the new handshake?
I come from a small town in Missouri. I was taught that sex was something special and you shouldn't just give it to anyone.
Falling in love with with my now husband and getting to know each other stirred many emotions in me and challenged the way I think and feel and how I was raised. At first, when I discovered things about him, I had to ask myself what I could live with and what I was willing to compromise. No, he isn't a bad person at all. He's wonderful. Just like all of us, he's made mistakes but in his case he didn't realize they were mistakes until he got with me. He actually feels shame for his past antics. I guess now that he's content he doesn't really know why he behaved the way he did other than being young and stupid (his words, not mine).
Moving to California I have met so many shady types, but it seems to be so commonly accepted. No one gets married anymore (or worse they do get married but have open relationships which defeats the purpose all together). Hookups are the norm and encouraged. Graigslist is a place where you put up sex ads, selling your body right along with a lamp shade (or soul if you ask me). The internet is a blessing in many ways but also a breeding ground for filth. Now all the pervs have a way to organize and spread. In many ways it's the decline of our civilization as we know it. As much good as it does it can do twice the damage.
I realize the world is a big place and I didn't grow up under a rock but it seems like no one cares about their own bodies and health anymore. It's all wham bam thank you mam. I'm not blaming anyone. I'm not trying to say anyone is bad. I'm really not. This is all just my personal views from what I've experienced.
There seems to be a real disconnect between sex and emotion. I think with the rise of mainstream sexuality and internet porn/hookup sites that many have lost their ability to connect and love. It's harder now. We get our just desserts first and then don't want to take the time to know the person afterward. I think that's why more and more people remain single. I think that's part of why so many people get divorced. They don't know how to hang in there and love one another unconditionally. They're so used to getting the lovin' and then leavin'.
I don't expect anyone to wait to have sex until marriage, but at the same time I wish people had a little more decency and respect when it comes to sex and their own bodies. I wish people had higher priorities for themselves. I wish sex wasn't the common denominator. No, sex isn't bad. It's actually really great. I just think it's better when it's with someone you love or care for in some capacity. As much as people like to say it, no, we are NOT animals and no we shouldn't be humping everything in sight like a common dog.
It might seem odd coming from a Madonna fan but just because I admire someone who is a sexual icon doesn't mean that's who I am as a person. I am a multi-faceted individual and sex is a part of that but not who I am. I am certainly not defined by my sexuality. I guess it may seem like a contradiction and maybe it is. I dunno. I don't think anyone is evil for exploring their sexuality but at the same time I don't think it's good to become a drive-thru window. There needs to be some sort of balance.
I guess I'm just old fashioned. An old romantic who believes and wants love and emotion over cheap and tawdry sex. I'm not expecting much support with this topic. I've spent most of my time at forums being chastised for my beliefs. I couldn't count how many times I've been called a prude and told to come in to the modern world where my beliefs/values/morals are concerned. Usually I am told that I am so against scandalous sex acts like threesomes simply because I've never experienced it. No, I assure that's not why. I am against those things because I couldn't live with myself had I ever done such a thing.
I guess I don't fit in and never will. So has been my life. If being modern and with the in crowd means supporting and being involved in sex parties (orgies), having friends with benefits, or fulfilling my sexual desires with the click of a mouse, then I'll gladly remain a wallflower.
I was raised with too much self respect. I realize right and wrong isn't always black and white, but then again not everything should be gray.
I do believe in live and let live. I would never try to tell anyone what is right or wrong for them. This is just my own personal view. I never judge the people around me or try to make them feel bad. This is just something that stews inside of me. It's life experiences and observations I have made since my move.
As a gay man this may seem odd or contradictory since so many condemn gays and consider my life sinful and damning but I guess that's part of my frustration. Yes, I'm gay, but I do have high standards. I don't sleep around nor would I ever. I don't believe in multiple sex partners. None of that stuff is for me and unfortunately I get grouped in with stereotypes about what it is to be gay. Or rather, what misinformed people think it is that us gays do.
I guess I just long for the days when people connected on a higher level.
Have fun and live your life, just be safe and take care of yourself.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.
P.S. I think my beliefs are much of the reason why MJ was/is so appealing to me. I could sense the innocence. I felt like he and I could relate. I often felt so lonely and like I didn't belong on so many levels growing up.
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