Alma
Proud Member
Re: Any Believers in Jesus Christ Here? (Non-debate thread for believers only)
Every night I've started praying for all people... I'm forcing myself to do that for the evil ones too.
Tonight, after a period of many months not crying, I simply broke down. I have to get this off my chest, and I know people here won't consider me crazy.
I'm interested in the human psychology, including or especially that of serial killers. I was zapping the remote control until I saw there was a new documentary on, "Most Evil" on Discovery World. I didn't catch it from the beginning, but it was enough even if if catching it at the end to trouble you. I just couldn't change the channel, I wanted to know everything. Because I was maybe trying to figure out how some people, whether serial killers or not, could be so unbelievably evil. The evil itself. So I was mulling over if people are born this way... say, truly scary-looking like Rasputin and Manson etc. Or the evil one turns them into horrid creatures along the way. Hitler was such a sweet-looking, defenseless babie like all babies are. I'm trying to find out whether there are evil incarnates in this world, demons in the flesh or are turned that way and/or corrupted to self-destruct (not necessarily to destroy others) by those adults who became evil and were made evil by cults or sects, for instance. I've been just reading something about the Children Of God and their shady implication with River Phoenix. I keep watching people confessing shocking things on TV, how they were sexually abused as youngsters, many celebrities even. Then, I've remembered about a dear Romanian poet who just passed away yesterday, who was a sufferer for the world and mocked by many and censored by communists. Then I saw the news of a sixteen-year old girl is a salvage, unnamed, unchristened daughter, and weighs as much as a skeleton does, probably does not even speak... I looked at her mother, and she seemed mentally ill.
Then I 'coincidentally' bump into Most Evil, to read accounts of how victims of serial killers perished, among whom children that were abused, tortured and eaten by their predators. Then I've thought again of how some people manage to wake up in the morning or how some of them must feel knowing their both parents are paralyzed, or their twin babies died or their daughter committed suicide and their 2-year-old son was there to watch, or their mother and father got killed and their son got imprisoned even though out of guilt. How can one truly ever live life afterwards..? How can one be that strong? For I would never, ever be, so I'm asking how others can survive such horrors. And how I can live in peace when knowing others are dying inside all the time and think of nothing but death, being ill, or when sweet children are being turned into monsters or turned into helpless legumes for the rest of their lives or killed? And I'm also wondering... not too much, for fear of a perfectly correct answer, if I were personally wronged in this life, if a close one of mine would have been murdered by someone I know and other such devastating scenarios... would I become evil myself and hate the whole world? Apart from mentally killing the predator myself, would I have killed the person if in my vicinity, or if I caught my love in bed with a friend of mine, would my mind blacken out so much our of too much hurt (because hurting one like me is such an easy thing to do) and anger that I would kill him?... How I would have reacted and what I would have been if physical horrendous things I pray will never happen to me or anybody had happened or hapened? If I had been in somebody else's body and had my soul? How would my soul take all that...?
Then people like Oprah also came into my mind and the many TV/media people whose souls are sold and who try to corrupt children's minds, while posing with angel faces. And I couldn't take it. So, questions keep pouring on my mind like crazy, because.. I'm wondering many things. Are mentally ill people the offspring, the seed of evil.. a curse sent to their parents for their descendants' sins, the demon itself? Are people all only just people or some are born demons? Are some... many, sad, unfortunate corruptions of evil sects and/or associations the purpose for which being to brainwash and/or demonize people?.. And then I also think of these people that come out on TV to defame others or about those who come out to say how they are their own person and proud of that, irrespective of how wrong they are, irrespective of what's moral or God-approved...
I don't even know what else I am asking... But it's safe to say that my desperate mood prompts me to ask people to pray for the innocents of this world, babies, children, animals, adults, as well as the ill and/or evil ones, all of them... and just maybe ask for God to always intervene... sometimes, as a flawed human that I am, I'm asking myself why does He not often intervene to prevent the many atrocities that are far beyond worse than their name... and when will His justice prevail?... Like, when a child is drowned to death or burned alive or chopped up and served for dinner? Why...? I know I shouldn't question His ways, I know it's a sin, but I can't help but asking... One day, I know I will find out the answer and I pray He'll forgive me.... but for now, for a very long while I simply cannot hold corruption coming with such ferocious, lustful velocity... If more people in this world could turn their selves more, much more to Him and try to please Him more than themselves and 'sell' their souls to Him only, most of these things wouldn't happen... I often just am a helpless witness of a sick inaudible, invisible laughter of something that is of course not Him.
I don't even know what else to ask... and how to better cope with all this world. I'm also trying to figure out how much longer it will last, when others say and/or feel we have so little time left / we have plenty more time left. And if there is plenty more time left for a continuing decaying world, wouldn't it be horrifying to increasingly be witnessing such dog-eat world?.
Every night I've started praying for all people... I'm forcing myself to do that for the evil ones too.
Tonight, after a period of many months not crying, I simply broke down. I have to get this off my chest, and I know people here won't consider me crazy.
I'm interested in the human psychology, including or especially that of serial killers. I was zapping the remote control until I saw there was a new documentary on, "Most Evil" on Discovery World. I didn't catch it from the beginning, but it was enough even if if catching it at the end to trouble you. I just couldn't change the channel, I wanted to know everything. Because I was maybe trying to figure out how some people, whether serial killers or not, could be so unbelievably evil. The evil itself. So I was mulling over if people are born this way... say, truly scary-looking like Rasputin and Manson etc. Or the evil one turns them into horrid creatures along the way. Hitler was such a sweet-looking, defenseless babie like all babies are. I'm trying to find out whether there are evil incarnates in this world, demons in the flesh or are turned that way and/or corrupted to self-destruct (not necessarily to destroy others) by those adults who became evil and were made evil by cults or sects, for instance. I've been just reading something about the Children Of God and their shady implication with River Phoenix. I keep watching people confessing shocking things on TV, how they were sexually abused as youngsters, many celebrities even. Then, I've remembered about a dear Romanian poet who just passed away yesterday, who was a sufferer for the world and mocked by many and censored by communists. Then I saw the news of a sixteen-year old girl is a salvage, unnamed, unchristened daughter, and weighs as much as a skeleton does, probably does not even speak... I looked at her mother, and she seemed mentally ill.
Then I 'coincidentally' bump into Most Evil, to read accounts of how victims of serial killers perished, among whom children that were abused, tortured and eaten by their predators. Then I've thought again of how some people manage to wake up in the morning or how some of them must feel knowing their both parents are paralyzed, or their twin babies died or their daughter committed suicide and their 2-year-old son was there to watch, or their mother and father got killed and their son got imprisoned even though out of guilt. How can one truly ever live life afterwards..? How can one be that strong? For I would never, ever be, so I'm asking how others can survive such horrors. And how I can live in peace when knowing others are dying inside all the time and think of nothing but death, being ill, or when sweet children are being turned into monsters or turned into helpless legumes for the rest of their lives or killed? And I'm also wondering... not too much, for fear of a perfectly correct answer, if I were personally wronged in this life, if a close one of mine would have been murdered by someone I know and other such devastating scenarios... would I become evil myself and hate the whole world? Apart from mentally killing the predator myself, would I have killed the person if in my vicinity, or if I caught my love in bed with a friend of mine, would my mind blacken out so much our of too much hurt (because hurting one like me is such an easy thing to do) and anger that I would kill him?... How I would have reacted and what I would have been if physical horrendous things I pray will never happen to me or anybody had happened or hapened? If I had been in somebody else's body and had my soul? How would my soul take all that...?
Then people like Oprah also came into my mind and the many TV/media people whose souls are sold and who try to corrupt children's minds, while posing with angel faces. And I couldn't take it. So, questions keep pouring on my mind like crazy, because.. I'm wondering many things. Are mentally ill people the offspring, the seed of evil.. a curse sent to their parents for their descendants' sins, the demon itself? Are people all only just people or some are born demons? Are some... many, sad, unfortunate corruptions of evil sects and/or associations the purpose for which being to brainwash and/or demonize people?.. And then I also think of these people that come out on TV to defame others or about those who come out to say how they are their own person and proud of that, irrespective of how wrong they are, irrespective of what's moral or God-approved...
I don't even know what else I am asking... But it's safe to say that my desperate mood prompts me to ask people to pray for the innocents of this world, babies, children, animals, adults, as well as the ill and/or evil ones, all of them... and just maybe ask for God to always intervene... sometimes, as a flawed human that I am, I'm asking myself why does He not often intervene to prevent the many atrocities that are far beyond worse than their name... and when will His justice prevail?... Like, when a child is drowned to death or burned alive or chopped up and served for dinner? Why...? I know I shouldn't question His ways, I know it's a sin, but I can't help but asking... One day, I know I will find out the answer and I pray He'll forgive me.... but for now, for a very long while I simply cannot hold corruption coming with such ferocious, lustful velocity... If more people in this world could turn their selves more, much more to Him and try to please Him more than themselves and 'sell' their souls to Him only, most of these things wouldn't happen... I often just am a helpless witness of a sick inaudible, invisible laughter of something that is of course not Him.
I don't even know what else to ask... and how to better cope with all this world. I'm also trying to figure out how much longer it will last, when others say and/or feel we have so little time left / we have plenty more time left. And if there is plenty more time left for a continuing decaying world, wouldn't it be horrifying to increasingly be witnessing such dog-eat world?.
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