The Confessional

It's been awhile since I've posted in this thread! Life happens (sometimes in a painful way), but I try to roll with the punches and not get knocked out. Well, I started a new job 3 days ago in a field I haven't worked in before: Retail! Seeing the behind the scenes operations of a chain department store has been an eye opener for me. Truth be told, I was quite nervous about it as I walked in to report for duty. The holiday music channel they had pumping through the sound system was extremely loud for the early AM hours ( I guess they keep it at the level to be heard over a store full of shoppers ). The song that was playing was from the Jackson 5's Christmas album and it put me at ease. Every day I've come in the same song starts playing as I walk through the door! My sister joked that I was cue-ing the song up with my mind, LMAO! If only it was that easy. . . :D


 
Aww, that's awesome Sheila! Congrats on your new job :) Personally I have never worked retail before, but I've been in customer service my entire adult life, and it's not easy work. People think it is, but then I just say that those people must have never worked in the field because it is not easy work. Rude customers all day long and you still have to wear a smile and tell them "Come again". Once in a while you do get somebody who is patient and understanding, but most are just rude. Working in that industry (and I still do) has shaped how I view the world- positively. I always make a point not to be that rude/impatient customer. I always treat anybody in the customer service industry with respect. And if the job requires a tip (like for waiters/waitresses), I tip well- far more than I typically should. I understand the hardships that come with working industry so anything that I can do to help brighten someone's day... it's worth it :)

:agree: It sure isn't easy and like you I've been in the Customer Service field most of my working life too. Retail is a whole different animal in the aspect that I'm truly hands-on with the customer CONSTANTLY. In my other jobs I was the behind-the-scene CSR: dealing with customers via the phone or handling their requests/complaints online, rarely having any face time with them. This new job I'm still primarily responsible for behind-the-scenes customer care, but the difference is my "office" is the sales floor, LOL! While I'm doing inventory and running the supply chain for my department, the customers can approach me and ask me questions and ask me for help finding something (whether it's in my department or not). That's the part that is taking some getting used to. It's been interesting so far.

I'm scheduled to work Black Friday, so I may need a super double triple dose of Mike's music that day. . . :hysterical:
 
This is one I was thinking about in the shower. When I was about 13 or 14 I wrote a "short story" (I use that term very loosely. I wasn't very good. :rofl: ) about a little girl who was visited by her guardian angel when she was in a dark place (I think in the story she was being abused). She spoke with him several different times throughout the story, and one day he came to her and she noticed he had been crying. Later, she's taking out the garbage and she throws away a tabloid and sees "those eyes", her guardian angel's eyes. Surprise! Her guardian angel is Michael Jackson, and she laments the words she sees to describe her kind and passionate guardian angel in the magazine. When he visits her again, they cry together and comfort each other. I think that was the end.

It was extremely lame, but it was obviously supposed to be a way to express how much he and his music were helping me in my own "dark place" at the time. (Un)fortunately, the notebooks from that age were ruined in a flood in my basement, so I can't embarrass myself further by quoting actual parts of the story. I can remember enough to actually quote it, but I remember it was pretty bad, lol!
 
This is one I was thinking about in the shower. When I was about 13 or 14 I wrote a "short story" (I use that term very loosely. I wasn't very good. :rofl: ) about a little girl who was visited by her guardian angel when she was in a dark place (I think in the story she was being abused). She spoke with him several different times throughout the story, and one day he came to her and she noticed he had been crying. Later, she's taking out the garbage and she throws away a tabloid and sees "those eyes", her guardian angel's eyes. Surprise! Her guardian angel is Michael Jackson, and she laments the words she sees to describe her kind and passionate guardian angel in the magazine. When he visits her again, they cry together and comfort each other. I think that was the end.

It was extremely lame, but it was obviously supposed to be a way to express how much he and his music were helping me in my own "dark place" at the time. (Un)fortunately, the notebooks from that age were ruined in a flood in my basement, so I can't embarrass myself further by quoting actual parts of the story. I can remember enough to actually quote it, but I remember it was pretty bad, lol!

Lol, give yourself some credit! It probably was better than you think! S.E. Hinton was a young teen, 16 I think, when she wrote The Outsiders. It became a well-known book and a fantastic movie! I've been writing short stories since I was in 7th grade. The first one was about fictional, adult versions of myself and my friends. It was THE goofiest thing I ever wrote. Like, I still cannot believe I wrote such an atrocity. You could definitely tell it was a 12 year old's idealistic view of adulthood. I, unfortunately, still have the evidence in my old wooden dresser. I still get a good kick out it (which I guess was the point of the story!) lol. :rofl:
 
It's been a minute since I've been in here.
My confession:
I deal with self-hate, an extreme case of it. I chastise myself for telling a girl I like her, she likes me to, we'd date but we don't know each other that well yet. I hate myself for letting myself show, I should have kept my mouth shut. I fall for girls quite easy. I'm interested in dating, but I don't want to, because then it's a little bit easier to get in trouble. I also have a problem with self-acceptance as of recently. I find myself to be ugly, even though a girl has told me I'm very cute. I hate my looks, I wish I was darker, taller, had curlier hair and looked better. I'm going to try to let this all go, but I tried that but it keeps pulling me back in. I wrote lyrics last night that kind of describe more or less how I feel, and what mental state I'm in at this point.

Open up your eyes to a new dimension,you dis-credit yourself.
You have no reflection, do you see what I invision?
Maybe what I've always wanted to see you will see too.
But until then maybe it's best if we leave each other alone, real soon.
 
Lol, give yourself some credit! It probably was better than you think! S.E. Hinton was a young teen, 16 I think, when she wrote The Outsiders. It became a well-known book and a fantastic movie! I've been writing short stories since I was in 7th grade. The first one was about fictional, adult versions of myself and my friends. It was THE goofiest thing I ever wrote. Like, I still cannot believe I wrote such an atrocity. You could definitely tell it was a 12 year old's idealistic view of adulthood. I, unfortunately, still have the evidence in my old wooden dresser. I still get a good kick out it (which I guess was the point of the story!) lol. :rofl:

That actually sounds interesting! It's almost more fun that it's a 12-year-old's image of adulthood. We all have to start somewhere, and I'm sure you got better with practice. :D

I almost wish I still had those old notebooks and diaries. It would be kind of fun to look through them now. I have pretty good memory and I used to reread my diaries a lot, so I can recall a lot, but it would be really fun to actually have them. My physical writing was destroyed in my basement flood and I deleted my online blog in a fit of embarrassment. I also remember going through a phase when I was about 12 where I ended each diary entry with a poem about the subject. :blush:
 
My confession:
As I'm going through "the change" my brain tends to get extremely befuddled at times. Case in point, this morning I woke up got ready to go to work and was just about to leave when I realized it was Sunday. :unsure:
Got dressed, did my hair, the whole bit. I had to double check with my daughter to make sure what day it was. I've read this whole stage is only temporary. Better be.
 
I confess :angel: The initial plan was to go out for a nice brisk walk in the sunshine today but I ended up in my fave store again and came home with 4 NEW books and some expensive new headphones cause they died during my walk to town ;)
 
I have to say I looked better on Sunday then I usually do. Felt like I had a long weekend afterwards. Least it's not as bad as another women I know who works there. She did the same thing and drove all the way to work only to realize it was Sunday when she got there.
 
My confession:
As I'm going through "the change" my brain tends to get extremely befuddled at times. Case in point, this morning I woke up got ready to go to work and was just about to leave when I realized it was Sunday. :unsure:
Got dressed, did my hair, the whole bit. I had to double check with my daughter to make sure what day it was. I've read this whole stage is only temporary. Better be.

I've done that before, and I'm not close to that!
I was in bed on a Saturday of last year and I would get up on Sunday around 11 a.m to get ready to go out for lunch at 12. Anyways I rolled over one Saturday and looked at the clock (12:00) and almost leaped out of bed thinking it was Sunday!
 
Well I have to say I feel better now reading the other posts.:)
At least now when I do something dumb I can always blame it on hormones.....
 
I wrote something today about someone I met online at some point. I'm not sure how I got to thinking about this person, but I found myself, for some strange reason, really missing them. So anyway, I wrote this little thing and I am posting it as a confession because, for a reason as mysterious to me as missing this person is, I feel like I want someone to read what I have written. I'm not generally someone who likes to make my feelings known, so this is somewhat uncomfortable, hence the feeling that this is a confession more than anything else.

HOMAGE TO A SHADOW


Is it possible to miss someone you haven’t really actually met? Someone whose face you’ve never seen and whose real name you never knew or they yours? Whose voice you never heard, whose scent you never smelled? How could it be? And yet, for years, I spoke to ☺. ☺ was someone I could bounce ideas off, someone who enabled my endless debates, who put up with my nonsense, no matter how ridiculous. Someone who willingly kept speaking to me, despite me being, I suspect, incredibly annoying and perhaps even dull, when it would have been so incredibly easy to simply stop responding. ☺ was kind, in ☺’s own way, ☺ gave me advice and supported me in my dreams, despite not knowing me. ☺ offered to do things for me I would not dare ask of most people in my life. ☺ gave me someone to talk to in the middle of the night, when I was feeling angry or upset. ☺ gave me an escape and listened graciously to my silly teen rants. ☺ respected me for who I was and did not look down on me. ☺ was never condescending, not even when I had it coming. Which, if I’m being honest, was quite often. ☺ was honest and open, in a strange way. ☺ was smart and had a peculiar kind of wisdom. ☺ was so much that I admire. ☺ was not perfect, far from it, but what flaws ☺ had, ☺ acknowledged and displayed them before me. ☺ did not try to appear better than ☺ was.

Sometimes, weeks went by when ☺ and I did not exchange so much as a word. But it was never awkward or difficult to talk to ☺.

And now, now that it is over, I find a dull ache in my heart whenever I think of those times. Like I’ve lost a friend. I find myself thinking, in spite of myself, if perhaps ☺ sometimes remembers them too. I find myself wondering if ☺’s alright, if ☺ has accomplished ☺’s dreams, how ☺’s pet is doing. I find myself wishing our paths will someday cross again. What an odd thing, to feel so close to someone so far away. I do not know if I have touched ☺’s life the way ☺ has touched mine, but I hope I have managed to be half as good a friend to ☺ as ☺ was to me. But mostly, I hope… I hope ☺ is well. I hope ☺ will always be well.
 
I wrote something today about someone I met online at some point. I'm not sure how I got to thinking about this person, but I found myself, for some strange reason, really missing them. So anyway, I wrote this little thing and I am posting it as a confession because, for a reason as mysterious to me as missing this person is, I feel like I want someone to read what I have written. I'm not generally someone who likes to make my feelings known, so this is somewhat uncomfortable, hence the feeling that this is a confession more than anything else.

It was awesome really! :agree:
Made me think of my 'lost friend' though :blush:
Thanks for sharing!

My confession here: I have found my 'lost friend' though I'm :unsure: to contact her. We grew apart and have different lives now. I stayed within the walls of the MJ community and she left it years ago.
So, Part of me wants to see her, part of me can't take the 'rejection'. I have lost so many 'friends' lately that it would shatter me if I would lose her for 'real' cause she's always been 'living on' in my thoughts.
 
I wrote something today about someone I met online at some point. I'm not sure how I got to thinking about this person, but I found myself, for some strange reason, really missing them. So anyway, I wrote this little thing and I am posting it as a confession because, for a reason as mysterious to me as missing this person is, I feel like I want someone to read what I have written. I'm not generally someone who likes to make my feelings known, so this is somewhat uncomfortable, hence the feeling that this is a confession more than anything else.

Beautiful Karom , thanks you so much for sharing this with us ..
It touched me.
 
It was awesome really! :agree:
Made me think of my 'lost friend' though :blush:
Thanks for sharing!

My confession here: I have found my 'lost friend' though I'm :unsure: to contact her. We grew apart and have different lives now. I stayed within the walls of the MJ community and she left it years ago.
So, Part of me wants to see her, part of me can't take the 'rejection'. I have lost so many 'friends' lately that it would shatter me if I would lose her for 'real' cause she's always been 'living on' in my thoughts.

Thank you Daz.

I think I understand what you mean. I would probably feel the same reluctance. But if you want my honest opinion, if you have the possibility to contact this person, I think you should do it. Being rejected would undoubtedly be difficult, but I think that just always having it as a burden with you is worse. Lord Tennyson said " 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Well, I say 'tis also better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all. :lol: And besides, you may yet be surprised.

Beautiful Karom , thanks you so much for sharing this with us ..
It touched me.

Thank you Treas. :) I will make another confession and admit I managed to make my eyes all watery writing that.
 
Thank you Treas. :) I will make another confession and admit I managed to make my eyes all watery writing that.[/QUOTE]

I confess....it made my eyes watery too
 
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