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What's happening to us?

Michelle MC

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Hello,
Before I address my concern, I just want to acknowledge that TII has brought back the feelings of sadness as I had in June, the intensity came back and I realize this is probably happening to everyone. So I acknloweledge that.
However I still have a concern. It seems that many of us are all too ready to argue, whether it be starting one up or taking place in one.
Then there's the chat room. There used to be a certain number of us regular posters. No more. Some have not been there since before TII was released. It's just a completely different mood in the chat room, in these threads, etc.
Is this all just me or has anyone else noticed? Actually regarding the chat room, it was someone who said this to me about the room being different like this.
 
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I've never been in the chat room, so I can't really comment on that.

Arguing? In this part of the forum or in general discussion? I haven't visit many areas of the forum lately.

All I know is that TII has brought more sadness to me than I ever thought it would :(
 
Im sorry you feel that way. I can admit a month after Michaels death I was arguing alot, everything turned into anger and so forth.. We're all in mourning and that manifests in different ways, some get easily emotional, others get easily angry. Some just disappear and no longer want to talk, we need to respect all of the different choises above.

I think we should create a manifest of love, create a thread and let fans post photos of things that make them happy, things that made Michael happy and contribute to spreading L O V E on this forum. If people are suddenly disappearing and find it hard to interact we should definitely create some sort of project that keeps people going.. Something that everybody can contribute to.. I dont know what that would be but Im trying to stay productive and positive.. A L.O.V.E thread, filled with joy!
 
Michelle MC said:
Hello,
Before I address my concern, I just want to acknowledge that TII has brought back the feelings of sadness as I had in June, the intensity came back and I realize this is probably happening to everyone. So I acknloweledge that.
However I still have a concern. It seems that many of us are all too ready to argue, whether it be starting one up or taking place in one.
Then there's the chat room. There used to be a certain number of us regular posters. No more. Some have not been there since before TII was released. It's just a completely different mood in the chat room, in these threads, etc.
Is this all just me or has anyone else noticed? Actually regarding the chat room, it was someone who said this to me about the room being different like this.
Click to expand...

you are not the only one who has noticed. sometimes, a good long break from the boards is all you can do. and refocus your time here, avoiding certain areas. This is what I have been doing.... I truly believe there are many people who just don't post anymore or visit as much, because, well....frankly, it is an impossible task to have a relatively intelligent conversation with bullies who can type louder than you, and love to hear themselves talk.

But it is okay....the positivity is still here, it is just harder to hear in some places under the few loud voices that spew forth drama. AND, those truly are ONLY A FEW...they will tire themselves out eventually.

MichealMySoul........why don't you start that thread, call it 'all for L.O.V.E'.... :) ...people will flock to it.
 
nestacat said:
you are not the only one who has noticed. sometimes, a good long break from the boards is all you can do. and refocus your time here, avoiding certain areas. This is what I have been doing.... I truly believe there are many people who just don't post anymore or visit as much, because, well....frankly, it is an impossible task to have a relatively intelligent conversation with bullies who can type louder than you, and love to hear themselves talk.

But it is okay....the positivity is still here, it is just harder to hear in some places under the few loud voices that spew forth drama. AND, those truly are ONLY A FEW...they will tire themselves out eventually.

MichealMySoul........why don't you start that thread, call it 'all for L.O.V.E'.... :) ...people will flock to it.
Click to expand...

She did it. People are flocking to it. :yes:
There's still a lot of L.O.V.E. around.:wub:
 
Naytobes,
When I referred to arguments, I meant on different sections of this forum.

Thank you Naytobes and everyone for your replies.

Fluffy Oz,
Where is that thread called L.O.V.E.? What section?
 
nestacat said:
MichealMySoul........why don't you start that thread, call it 'all for L.O.V.E'.... :) ...people will flock to it.
Click to expand...

great idea

i know some fans that came to the forum and said they were disapointed at how they met them. i cannot comment on it because i feel at home here and this is the only place where people understand me.

i feel sometimes people argue too much, after when it happened, in June and July people were so careful about what they say to others. less careful now. but i think everybody cares.
 
That's why I've taken a few breaks from here because it's a mixture of hate/ arguments and bickering which I can't handle most of the time :( I'm a man of peace and hate conflict. I don't judge people, I am more open then the sky and welcome anyone warmly as a friend. I don't make friends to gain, I make friends to give. I love you all.

I'll certainly go to that thread :)
 
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I noticed most of the bickering just after mikes passing, but i too have noticed the change in chat. Its heartbreaking that some members have decided to leave mjjc , but i understand how they feel. I have thought bout leaving mjjc @ times but its so hard for me 2 break away from this place- ITS MY SECOND HOME!!
And you all are like my 2nd family......its so hard for me to move on.
 
My dear fellow MJ lovers, we are in a time of great turmoil, grief, and sadness. There is still much conflict and the world seems to be tearing itself apart in some places because of Michael's death, there is still a lot that needs to be resolved, millions of us who are hurt and some who have even committed suicide already.

These are times of great grief and pain and we are doing out best to deal with it, I'm sure some people feel angry, some feel horrible like me, others still might just feel alone and dead inside.

We need to try and stick together though in these times.
 
I agree. I'm sick of all the hate and anger on here. I didn't come on for a couple of days. Some of the things written on here are ridiculously horrible. I'm sick of the hate towards people we don't know. There are people who like to cause drama. It just makes me want to leave.
 
Don't leave guys :(

I know it's becoming very upsetting to read all the bickering. Sadly, all the discussion has turned to arguing lately which is sad. Aren't we supposed to be here for each other, and listen to each other?

Just remember, you can always ignore threads that you find upsetting - and you will always find love and support in this part of the forum. So just spend more time here :)

Hugs guys
 
I so agreed with you Naytobes, you can always find love and support in this part of the forum, that's why I visit here regularly though I am not as active as before, but believe me I am always here for anyone of you, just PM me if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here to help.

**hugs and loves to everyone**
His magic and love will continue shining over us forever after.
 
Just keep positive ppl and it will change with time again.

Ppl are still working themselves through grief. Some don't even know they do... but all this bickering to me is still mourning.

The truth will prevail.

And the truth is love, and love only. Nothing else.
For now many seem to be still blinded by pain. It's sad yes. But it will get better again. Some think they know facts and the only valid truth and feel on a mission and feel the need to prove everyone thinking different wrong while that's not even possible. Nobody knows really any truth yet and that is hard to some. Ppl with no connections to their feelings do need nothing more but 'facts', something logic, something their mind is able to deal with. Some don't find comfort in ppl around and can't talk about feelings and that's why so in need of lots of attention.
I think the best we can do is spreading the understanding and tolerance this forum section offers through it members.

The truth is not about being right and calling others wrong. The only eternal valid truth is love. It comes from inside. Michael knew. L.O.V.E.

I have faith in the fan community. In time ppl will calm down and will find some balance again... and in the end of the day we'll all be united again in our love for Michael.
 
Anger is a natural reaction to grief. We are angry at Murray and anyone who may have contributed to Michael's death and we can't express it TO them. The emotions can be overwhelming. But yet, it's important to try to look at the larger picture? Anger breeds more anger. . it's like a virus that can be caught. Everytime you feel like reacting with anger, take a pause. Step back. Breathe. Venting angrily at someone gains nothing, for anyone. It just adds to the hurt and pain in the world. Ultimately Michael was about L.O.V.E. I've seen people justify bad-behavior by saying, "She/he started it! I'm just giving back what I got!" That does not make it right. It lowers your own level. What if someone makes you angry, and instead of reacting in-kind you say something like, "I can certainly understand your emotions." That can certainly stop an argument. It's not accusatory. It's not saying the other person was RIGHT. It's simply acknowledging them. We are all at different places in our grief. Anger is a part of it. We just do the best we can?
 
I am feeling very cynical lately, but what I'm about to say is a sad fact of reality. What MJ wanted in this world(love and sharing) will never happen completely. People are out for themselves, and the way of this world encourages that. People are unemployed, for example, so everyone is out looking for a job because they need money to pay the bills, fore everyone has bills. So there is competition out there for jobs. If someone who was looking for a job was offered a job and then was asked by someone if they would refuse so someone else would have the job, do you think they would really refuse the job for that reason?
It's hard to live and spread the message of love as Christ and Michael wants and would want. I've been forced into unemployment, and as a result we could have lost our house. We could have put it up for sale, but we wouldn't know how long it would be before the house would sell. And going into foreclosure would ruin our credit scores. Do you think I would have given up the job I have now so someone else can have the job and have their problems taken care of. No of course not. Nobody can find me a job but me, and that would have been stupid to have done that knowing that we could have lost our house and/or had our credit scores ruined. That was an example I used. An example many people face unfortunately.
Of course I believe in loving people and spreading love and sharing. But hubby and I have to know when we have to look out for ourselves. Ultimately, I'm sorry, but everyone is basically out for themselves and the heck with everyone else.
 
I'm sorry my above post really had nothing to do with the topic of this thread, but since spreading love has been mentioned in here, I thought I'd put my thought in here, since I started this thread anyway.
 
Hmmm I think to lookout for yourself isn't opposing spreading love or being a loving person?!

It's not selfish or something if you do not have a choice.
Love means to share your life in a way... doesn't have to be only material or material at all just something... but for sharing you need to have.

You do whatever you have to do to feel right about yourself FIRST... only then you're able to love I think. Ppl have to care for themselves for that they simply don't have others to worry about them. That's a part of love to me.

Many ppl are going through hard times... yes... but there's no sense in feeling guilty cuz you took a job you needed. You think someone else might could have needed it more? Well I don't know... maybe it's you just want to do a good work there and you want to know your family secure... so you're doing this for good and not for bad reasons cuz it's love for your family... loving your family is the motivation.
Again you simply can't share when you don't have something to share and no loving person will ever expect something like that from you.
 
Mechi,
No I don't feel guilty for taking this job I have now. But it does hurt someone else and keep them(whoever they would have called) from getting a job. It's hard to say what I'm saying but taking the job did hurt someone else. And that was an example but everyone is that way when it comes to whatever does them well.
But then you're right. Now the money to allow us to live comfortably again, is what we can give to someone less fortunate, whereas before we couldn't.
It's hard to say what I'm trying to say only except that everyone is out for themselves and the heck with everyone else, and how their selfish actions affect them.
 
What I'm saying is that everyone has to be out for themselves to live a responsible life. That doesn't mean everyone is ONLY out for themselves.
Ppl on this very forum for example are not, obviously. You and me are not only out there for ourselves, obviously.
We need to keep ourselves on merely stable ground to be really able to lend a helping hand at times.

Then again when my boyfriend got this seriously sick with the brain tumour, he became my priority. I left my job, didn't quit... just telling my boss, do with my job whatever you want I can't fullfill it anymore.
Moneywise I was supported by his parents, my parents, my brothers, his sister and well I had some money in my accounts etc.
The guy who owns the place we were living in... I didn't even have to pay rent for the time anymore. etc. etc. etc.
I just wanted to be there only for Andreas in his last months and didn't care at all about anything else... but many many ppl helped me. Also after I had lost him... many ppl helped me and I wouldn't have survived without them. So forgive me for taking passionately the side of all those who are out there helping others.
Do I feel lucky with my life and the wonderful ppl in it... yes very much so.

But I also got the lesson... not everybody is out there for (ONLY) themselves.

Please look again and maybe into a different direction.

It's unfair to say so, don't even make it sound like that (for example to the wonderful ppl in my life and probably to some in your life also!). I am not out there for (only) myself and I guess you are not also... but in case you feel you are... then just start with the 'man in the mirror' ;) start the change for good again.
 
Mechi,
Thanks for your post. I am not against those who help. I know that there are some who aren't out there for themselves only, but those are very few. I'm sorry I'm so cynical. I'll keep my "mouth shut". I didn't mean to upset you.
 
Guess I should have named this thread what's happening to me. :( I have no physical energy and no emotional energy to pick myself up and keep going. My emails are filling up because all I do is get rid of the garbage and the ones I keep I don't read. I just can't seem to pick myself back up, and all I feel is negativity. I feel like I can't get along with anyone. When it's my fault I am sorry, but this has happened with a few different people. I just think they don't see me as helping them when I've tried. They don't appreciate my help.
And now I see I just ticked someone else off in this thread for posting my negativity. Fine, I'll shut up, but where am I going to go for support. If I need to take a break, what am I going to do. I have NO energy to pick up and move on. What am I going to do. I'm stuck!!
 
You didn't upset me. Not at all. And you didn't tick me off. I just care about you and feel something is going on.

You're either already in it or you're going into a major depression it sounds.
Don't feel guilty... try to get out of paralyzation and start helping yourself first again Michelle... please look for help! Maybe start with talking to your hubby. If that's not possible whyever start with going to your regular doc and tell him. Help is out there. Please go for it.

I just care about you! nothing more, nothing less.
Actually I'm in a pretty good mood ok... please don't worry.
 
Mechi said:
You didn't upset me. Not at all. And you didn't tick me off. I just care about you and feel something is going on.

You're either already in it or you're going into a major depression it sounds.
Don't feel guilty... try to get out of paralyzation and start helping yourself first again Michelle... please look for help! Maybe start with talking to your hubby. If that's not possible whyever start with going to your regular doc and tell him. Help is out there. Please go for it.

I just care about you! nothing more, nothing less.
Actually I'm in a pretty good mood ok... please don't worry.
Click to expand...

Thank you Mechi. You are very kind. I'm sorry about my attitude. As I've told some(maybe posted it on here too) I feel like I'm having problems getting along with others. I guess what I mean is I'm being even more sensitive than normal and my normal sensitive can be frustrating. When I say about my being sensitive, I mean I get hurt easily. So now I'm feeling that people are getting upset with me or if they stop talking to me, they're talking about me to someone else. I tried to help someone and well that didn't turn out well, and I think this is when I noticed this in myself. I can't go into details but if I feel like I need to do that, I will pm you, Mechi. Ah, I guess I will, I do need to talk about it.
 
Michelle MC said:
Thank you Mechi. You are very kind. I'm sorry about my attitude. As I've told some(maybe posted it on here too) I feel like I'm having problems getting along with others. I guess what I mean is I'm being even more sensitive than normal and my normal sensitive can be frustrating. When I say about my being sensitive, I mean I get hurt easily. So now I'm feeling that people are getting upset with me or if they stop talking to me, they're talking about me to someone else. I tried to help someone and well that didn't turn out well, and I think this is when I noticed this in myself. I can't go into details but if I feel like I need to do that, I will pm you, Mechi. Ah, I guess I will, I do need to talk about it.
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You got a pm!
Please stop feeling bad! You did your best!
If someone act's non-forgiving towards you then it's maybe time for a break from this very person. Better escape a constant drama early enough.
Still I think it's very much time to care about yourself. You might be still very much grieving (again)... it's coming in waves... and it's just so natural to be very sensitive. I have so much understanding for that! We never know when we'll be through this... maybe never really... but we need to develope some understanding for ourselves what this is causing in us.
Please keep in mind what I said before also. Try to get yourself on some stable ground before lending a helping hand again?!
I hope for the best for you and also that other person involved.
*hugs* to you Michelle! Keep the faith and never give up michaeling! ;)
 
Michelle MC said:
Thank you Mechi. You are very kind. I'm sorry about my attitude. As I've told some(maybe posted it on here too) I feel like I'm having problems getting along with others. I guess what I mean is I'm being even more sensitive than normal and my normal sensitive can be frustrating. When I say about my being sensitive, I mean I get hurt easily. So now I'm feeling that people are getting upset with me or if they stop talking to me, they're talking about me to someone else. I tried to help someone and well that didn't turn out well, and I think this is when I noticed this in myself. I can't go into details but if I feel like I need to do that, I will pm you, Mechi. Ah, I guess I will, I do need to talk about it.
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:hug:
 
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