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Missing Michael so badly again...

MJsBollywoodGirl7 said:
I so totally agree with you. Especially about Dr. Death. I so badly wish he would get the death penalty. I am a big time believer in capital punishment. And that evil monster should be getting it. 4 years in prison is definitely not justice at all.:mat:
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oh, i feel your anger sweety, i really do. I want Murray to PAY for his actions too - but TO ME the biggest punishment is not to kill him. NO, to me, the biggest punishment would be to lock that sorry excuse for a human being up in a tiny jail cell for the rest of his life with Bubba as his cell mate. Keep him away from money, the good life, hookers and whatever else he fancied.... now that's punishment to me.
 
Autumn II said:
This is a VERY bad time. Just believe, that justice on THIS earth is only part of the story? There WILL be justice. Michael was just TOO good, and meant so much, to so many, for this to be the end? LOVE works in mysterious ways, and I do have to believe that we will be ok? LOVE is so much stronger than EVIL, and somehow, it will be ok. .
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I found so much comfort in this post. Since I originally read this a couple of days ago I have thought about it more than once. Just want to say thankyou.

EDIT: I'm crying reading this thread. Just to know people 'get' this...I'm not alone in feeling like this, and there is so much LOVE for Michael! Wow. It really helps, and I have to believe he can feel this. He is forever! :cry:
 
I have given up on justice in this world. Even if he gets jail time..it's gonna be 4 years max and that's just wrong. I believe in justice in the hereafter.

It's a horrible time. I'm missing Michael so much and the pain is immense. On top of that, I listen to songs that cut my wounds deeper : "I'm making flowers out paper... I know that they won't last forever but real ones fade away too soon.."

Oh, Michael. :cry: My beautiful angel...
 
It's a bit off-topic, and perhaps somewhat selfish of me to say this, but I kind of don't want the trial to ever end. I feel as though watching the live streams on MJJC and chatting with each other as the events unfold has somehow brought us closer--for the first time since Michael's passing. I know the trial is supposed to be closure, but with Michael gone...what are we supposed to do afterwards. This is the culmination of what we have been awaiting for two years--the swift blow of justice upon the head of unworthy Murray. I want him to pay, and to suffer for what he's done...but, what comes afterwards?

Prince, Paris and Blanket are too young to be celebrities in their own right, and $ony has already proven it cannot be trusted with posthumous albums.

Of course, we'll still be here. Music lives forever, after all, just like literature and other forms of art. These works survive their authors and are relevant even outside their own time frame. I think Michael's music is good enough to transcend time as well, but that is not the point. I still cannot believe there will never be any more Michael Jackson news...no albums, no appearances, nothing.

The conclusion of the Murray trial will just serve to highlight the inevitable--and I think it is a joke that the maximum time he can serve is four years. At least, if all goes well, he will have his licence revoked, and won't be able to ever harm another human being in the same way he did Michael. I guess there's our bitter consolation.

Do any of you feel the same, or am I just nuts?
 
Severus Snape said:
It's a bit off-topic, and perhaps somewhat selfish of me to say this, but I kind of don't want the trial to ever end. I feel as though watching the live streams on MJJC and chatting with each other as the events unfold has somehow brought us closer--for the first time since Michael's passing. I know the trial is supposed to be closure, but with Michael gone...what are we supposed to do afterwards. This is the culmination of what we have been awaiting for two years--the swift blow of justice upon the head of unworthy Murray. I want him to pay, and to suffer for what he's done...but, what comes afterwards?

Prince, Paris and Blanket are too young to be celebrities in their own right, and $ony has already proven it cannot be trusted with posthumous albums.

Of course, we'll still be here. Music lives forever, after all, just like literature and other forms of art. These works survive their authors and are relevant even outside their own time frame. I think Michael's music is good enough to transcend time as well, but that is not the point. I still cannot believe there will never be any more Michael Jackson news...no albums, no appearances, nothing.

The conclusion of the Murray trial will just serve to highlight the inevitable--and I think it is a joke that the maximum time he can serve is four years. At least, if all goes well, he will have his licence revoked, and won't be able to ever harm another human being in the same way he did Michael. I guess there's our bitter consolation.

Do any of you feel the same, or am I just nuts?
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I get where you are coming from. That is why I am going to be leaving the community after the verdict and after the dust settles. I will hang around to be with you all to support and discuss but can'y see myself being here much longer after that. Obviously I will be here to discuss and hopefully praise the verdict, but ultimately I feel my time here which I am so grateful for is nearly at and end.
 
^That's quite brave of you. I wouldn't ever want to leave, but then again, I'm the sort of person who holds on to things for dear life.
 
I understand your feeling, Severus. The trial was that huge thing ahead, and when it's over, whatever the verdict, there's an endless void we'll have to fill.
I dont expect any kind of closure from this, CM could be sent to death row it wouldnt change anything to the fact Michael is never coming back. I have no feeling for murray. I need justice to do done, because Michael deserves it, and the world needs to know the truth.

I believe we, as fans, have a task to do. Michael asked us to make a change, so many times. I think it's time we unite, roll up our sleeves and start working on it. And yes, I believe it's possible.
 
Yes, that's certainly true. I don't mean to say the verdict will bring any particularly helpful closure to any of us, but as far as concrete events are concerned, it is the ultimate closure. Our personal closures will have to come when they come, if they come at all. I consider Murray's trial the world at large's closure. After this, the media won't have any big stories on Michael-related subjects to tell (in my opinion, this is mostly a good thing).

What I fear most, however, is the world forgetting about him. This is all actually quite common as far as the grieving process is concerned, but the knowledge that it is "normal" does not make it any easier to digest. Theoretical knowledge can only take you so far. If the world was purely of the mind, nobody would ever have to die. This is somewhat of an issue with me, this whole death thing. I've never been afraid to die, if anything at times it seems quite the contrary, but I am terrified of those I am close to dying. They aren't very many, after all.

Even though it's been two years already, having to witness the trial kind of brings everything back to the surface. I know that Michael wanted us to change the world for the better, and for his sake we ought to heed his call, but what do we do with the incomprehensible garble that is our feelings towards the situation?

I know some people are coping with their sorrow via humour. We'll comment on how hot certain witnesses are, or DA Walgren and Judge Pastor. We'll cook up unsavoury prison situations awaiting Murray, or make fun of Chernoff's suits, and Flanagan's penchant for Lorazepam (Flanazepam). Some MJ fans even made parody accounts for the defence and the pros. basically to comment on the day's proceedings without the somberness an official summary would carry.

Strangely enough, trivialities like those really help me cope with the trial, and I think this is true for others as well. However, once it's all over...we'll just have our black Pandora's box of emotions to hold, and it will be wide open. Who knows what chaos will ensue. I think the worst is yet to come, personally. We've coped alright thus far, but once the extraneous people and the world's attention turns its sight from Michael, once we really get to feel what it's like for him to be gone, I think that will hit me hard.

I still, despite all logic, refuse to accept the loss. I talk about him mostly in present tense. Hell, I talk to him. I talk to the posters in my room to cope with the loneliness, and even if they never respond (it'd be a tad alarming if they did lol), I still feel as though he's there and he is listening. I know this is naught but fancy, but I'm not exactly in a position to favour rationality. Sometimes, when on the brink, you just have to unquestioningly do what works.

I think embarking on a mission to change the world will also help us establish his legacy. We'll do all we can in his name. But...like you said, he's never coming back, and it's so difficult not to step forward. There is work to be done here, after all.
 
:bored2: :timer: :ermm: :smilie_despairofhum :brow: :sigh: :mellow: :teary_eyed: :depressed: :cry: :weeping:
 
Severus Snape said:
It's a bit off-topic, and perhaps somewhat selfish of me to say this, but I kind of don't want the trial to ever end. I feel as though watching the live streams on MJJC and chatting with each other as the events unfold has somehow brought us closer--for the first time since Michael's passing. I know the trial is supposed to be closure, but with Michael gone...what are we supposed to do afterwards. This is the culmination of what we have been awaiting for two years--the swift blow of justice upon the head of unworthy Murray. I want him to pay, and to suffer for what he's done...but, what comes afterwards?

Prince, Paris and Blanket are too young to be celebrities in their own right, and $ony has already proven it cannot be trusted with posthumous albums.

Of course, we'll still be here. Music lives forever, after all, just like literature and other forms of art. These works survive their authors and are relevant even outside their own time frame. I think Michael's music is good enough to transcend time as well, but that is not the point. I still cannot believe there will never be any more Michael Jackson news...no albums, no appearances, nothing.

The conclusion of the Murray trial will just serve to highlight the inevitable--and I think it is a joke that the maximum time he can serve is four years. At least, if all goes well, he will have his licence revoked, and won't be able to ever harm another human being in the same way he did Michael. I guess there's our bitter consolation.

Do any of you feel the same, or am I just nuts?
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THIS :cry:
 
I agree, you do what works, whatever it is. The pain is too unbearable. It's not only emotional or psychological, it's almost physical. And acting, pretending everything's normal, for all the people around, is exhausting.
I understand the parody accounts or the jokes, we need them or we would all be insane by now. We have to relive and watch things no one should. We have to compare stomac contents and blood concentration, we have to watch pictures, it's inhumane.

I feel like the survivor of a terrible crash. I take it one day at a time.

Maybe it'll take time, but I strongly believe we can do an amazing lot of good if we join our forces. And I believe it's the ultimate tribute, the biggest proof of love we could offer Michael.
 
Severus Snape said:
Yes, that's certainly true. I don't mean to say the verdict will bring any particularly helpful closure to any of us, but as far as concrete events are concerned, it is the ultimate closure. Our personal closures will have to come when they come, if they come at all. I consider Murray's trial the world at large's closure. After this, the media won't have any big stories on Michael-related subjects to tell (in my opinion, this is mostly a good thing).

What I fear most, however, is the world forgetting about him. This is all actually quite common as far as the grieving process is concerned, but the knowledge that it is "normal" does not make it any easier to digest. Theoretical knowledge can only take you so far. If the world was purely of the mind, nobody would ever have to die. This is somewhat of an issue with me, this whole death thing. I've never been afraid to die, if anything at times it seems quite the contrary, but I am terrified of those I am close to dying. They aren't very many, after all.

Even though it's been two years already, having to witness the trial kind of brings everything back to the surface. I know that Michael wanted us to change the world for the better, and for his sake we ought to heed his call, but what do we do with the incomprehensible garble that is our feelings towards the situation?

I know some people are coping with their sorrow via humour. We'll comment on how hot certain witnesses are, or DA Walgren and Judge Pastor. We'll cook up unsavoury prison situations awaiting Murray, or make fun of Chernoff's suits, and Flanagan's penchant for Lorazepam (Flanazepam). Some MJ fans even made parody accounts for the defence and the pros. basically to comment on the day's proceedings without the somberness an official summary would carry.

Strangely enough, trivialities like those really help me cope with the trial, and I think this is true for others as well. However, once it's all over...we'll just have our black Pandora's box of emotions to hold, and it will be wide open. Who knows what chaos will ensue. I think the worst is yet to come, personally. We've coped alright thus far, but once the extraneous people and the world's attention turns its sight from Michael, once we really get to feel what it's like for him to be gone, I think that will hit me hard.

I still, despite all logic, refuse to accept the loss. I talk about him mostly in present tense. Hell, I talk to him. I talk to the posters in my room to cope with the loneliness, and even if they never respond (it'd be a tad alarming if they did lol), I still feel as though he's there and he is listening. I know this is naught but fancy, but I'm not exactly in a position to favour rationality. Sometimes, when on the brink, you just have to unquestioningly do what works.

I think embarking on a mission to change the world will also help us establish his legacy. We'll do all we can in his name. But...like you said, he's never coming back, and it's so difficult not to step forward. There is work to be done here, after all.
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Well to be honest until the last two months or so, Michael was rarely in the news, except when mentioned by others in interviews and stories. He's excessively in the news now because of the trial, but that wasn't the case two or three months back. After the trial, I assume things will be similar to the months before the trial.

Michael will be in the news as long as the Estate, his family, supposed friends and even Fans (yes, we are that important to his legacy) initiate projects and activities revolving around him. Other than that, he will be remembered by the media on his Birthday, death anniversary and occasions like that. So he won't be forgotten. Don't worry, but also don't expect a coverage similar to now. The media frenzy that followed after his passing subsided many months back, but the trial kick started it. We know it will be temporary.

Michael's spirit is eternal through his music and message, but I get what you are saying :cry:
 
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I don't feel this thing that the Murray trial signals the end of something. For me not. I want justice to be done and Murray declared to be guilty, but otherwise I'm quite emitonless about Murray. He was an idiot and needs to be held responsible for what he did, but I don't think he killed Michael intentionally. On the other hand there are people out there who hurt Michael intentionally in the worst possible way, destroyed him not "just" physically but also the clearness of his name and his memory, and probably never will be held responsible. The Chandlers, the Arvizos, Sneddon, Dimond, Orth, lots of media people etc. etc. You go to a comment section of a major news website and you see lots of people still referring to Michael as a pedophile and a criminal. That is the real tragedy of it all. Everybody dies, but Michael doesn't deserve to be referred to and remembered this way based on the decades long campaign of these liars. Until this doesn't change there won't be a closure for me. And there is a chance it will never change because those who could stop it (Jordan, Gavin) are too cowardly or too evil or both to do so.

Otherwise I just like to listen to Michael's music, talk about it and about him as a person and be among like-minded people and this has nothing to do with the Murray trial or closures or anything like that, so I don't see a reason to leave the forum after the trial. I'm not here because of the trial. I'm not even here because I expect Michael news every day. With the type of "news" the media likes to write about him I don't mind too much if there aren't news in connection with him.
 
^Well, like I said, their abstaining from putting out stories about him I think is mostly an improvement, and I stated so in my previous post. I know Murray most likely did not intend to kill Michael--logically speaking, it makes no sense, as he was his meal ticket and the beacon of light amidst the dark ocean of debt he was drowning in. Yes, Murray is sort of a minor speck in the greater scheme of things, and I think we all know this, but the fact remains that he was so thoroughly negligent it is truly unforgivable. This passing was preventable, as the experts have said during the trial.

By news I don't mean whatever the media cooks up, but rather just appearances by Michael we would hear about in times past. What I'm trying to say is that we've spent two years attempting to accept his passing, and everything has broken at the seams, so to speak, spilling out a great mass of turbulent emotion.

And, yes, we will never have perfect closure because a lot of loose ends and a lot of wrongdoers are still left at large (you've named two, I'd add Sneddon to that list as well). However, what I said is that the trial would bring closure upon the world at large--not us. I honestly don't think we'll ever have it, at least not me.

And yes, I agree, we're all here for Michael, but some people do not want to stick around for the aftermath, I reckon. Since I'm not one of them, I won't say very much about that, as I do not know their reasons. However, I will be staying, hopefully for a very long time.

Like I said, Michael's talent is relevant enough to transcend the passage of time. His music will be like the great literature of the 18th and 19th century: passed down from one generation to the other, managing to live forever. I have no doubt about that at all.

However, it still doesn't make accepting his death again any easier.
 
respect77 said:
I don't feel this thing that the Murray trial signals the end of something. For me not. I want justice to be done and Murray declared to be guilty, but otherwise I'm quite emitonless about Murray. He was an idiot and needs to be held responsible for what he did, but I don't think he killed Michael intentionally. On the other hand there are people out there who hurt Michael intentionally in the worst possible way, destroyed him not "just" physically but also the clearness of his name and his memory, and probably never will be held responsible. The Chandlers, the Arvizos, Sneddon, Dimond, Orth, lots of media people etc. etc. You go to a comment section of a major news website and you see lots of people still referring to Michael as a pedophile and a criminal. That is the real tragedy of it all. Everybody dies, but Michael doesn't deserve to be referred to and remembered this way based on the decades long campaign of these liars. Until this doesn't change there won't be a closure for me. And there is a chance it will never change because those who could stop it (Jordan, Gavin) are too cowardly or too evil or both to do so.
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Well said. I agree.
 
WOW again... :better: to all BRAVE people...

Well, I was LOST yesterday... Both chats were OFF LINE and I felt like :blink:
I too have 'grown close' to our Humour and nicknames we give them and just plain chatting and 'processing' what we hear... I didn't have the courage yesterday to stay and listen Chernoff's "number" without the chat :cry:

Then again... I bought a NEW TOY... I was able to buy a PSP in 'promotion' and of course the only game I bought is "Michael Jackson, the experience"
That really SOOTHS me... :dancin: I really wish Michael KNEW about this game and HOW it sooths me... Hey, I can hang in my sofa again:jump:
 
Severus Snape said:
It's a bit off-topic, and perhaps somewhat selfish of me to say this, but I kind of don't want the trial to ever end. I feel as though watching the live streams on MJJC and chatting with each other as the events unfold has somehow brought us closer--for the first time since Michael's passing. I know the trial is supposed to be closure, but with Michael gone...what are we supposed to do afterwards. This is the culmination of what we have been awaiting for two years--the swift blow of justice upon the head of unworthy Murray. I want him to pay, and to suffer for what he's done...but, what comes afterwards?
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it hits hard when you realize that there's nothing after the trial. All we have now is random albums, and i dont mean to put anyone down here, but i just cannot get all excited about the "immortal" album. It's just not the same. Same with the "michael" cd. I rarely listen to it.... because while it's good to hear outtakes, Michael left those songs out of his albums for a reason. They were not up to his standard. I feel like all those post-humerus albums the estate is planning to release will bring the quality of Michael's music down :(
You know, i sometimes feel ashamed of myself. In 08 i was busy bitching about lack of news on new music, why didnt he do this, why didnt he do that, the Katrina song, then came the this is it announcement and YAY... i bought a ticket, only to one of the concert goers, who had her concert resheduled to March 10. And what did i do? I bitched big time. Then suddenly he was gone. In the blink of an eye :( Now i have the TII dvd and a post-humerus album, and another in the making. I got what i wanted, but i dont want it any longer. I just want Michael here. I want him alive and enjoying life with his kids. I dont care about new releases, dvds, appearances and so on.... i just want what i had back in 08 (when i was too busy bitching..) i had HIM in the world, and although i didn't know him, he didn't know me, just knowing that he was here, alive, smiling, enjoying life.... was enough. Just a little thing like logging on to this board and see new pics of him.....:wub: his smile. That could save my day.
On Friday the trial is scheduled to end. Then we have the cirque shows, the immortal cd, and then what? Then we're doomed to face the emptiness his passing has left us with. The emptiness we were able to suppress because of all the events that has taken place since that awful day. I dread what's to come.

But most of all, i wish i had cherished his presence in this world more when he was here :cry:. Concerts, dvds, cds, public apperances, photos.... NOTHING can compare to knowing he's enjoying life with his children.
 
Daryll748 said:
WOW again... :better: to all BRAVE people...

Well, I was LOST yesterday... Both chats were OFF LINE and I felt like :blink:
I too have 'grown close' to our Humour and nicknames we give them and just plain chatting and 'processing' what we hear... I didn't have the courage yesterday to stay and listen Chernoff's "number" without the chat :cry:

Then again... I bought a NEW TOY... I was able to buy a PSP in 'promotion' and of course the only game I bought is "Michael Jackson, the experience"
That really SOOTHS me... :dancin: I really wish Michael KNEW about this game and HOW it sooths me... Hey, I can hang in my sofa again:jump:
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I have that game for my Nintendo Wii. And I wish Michael knew about that game as well. I got 3 games this past weekend. 2 Sims 3 Pets games 1 for my Playstation 3 and 1 for my computer. And for my Nintendo Ds Lite I had gotten Professor Layton and the Last Specter. I just find those games, reading my Left Behind series, and watching my Bollywood movies. So very relaxing and soothing for me anymore. Especially since I have people in my life. That doesn't really care about what it has been like for me for the past 2 years.:sad:
 
You've stated it in clearest terms, Pimboli. So, it is only three days until the trial comes to a close. =/

I can't get excited about the Immortal album either...even though its scheduled release date is close to my birthday. With things like the trial, it's so much easier to digest in that you have the person who is responsible for the crime there, and even though what they talk about at times is gruesome, you can always cope by way of humour.

However, once all that is over...how are we supposed to cope? There really is no humour in the fact that Michael is no longer here. =|
 
I'm already getting that empty feeling :( The only thing I can truly look forward to and get excited about is when The Immortal World Tour arrives in the UK :( Things just ain't the same anymore and once the trial is over...*sigh*
 
roomdownstairs said:
To everyone here, I have read these posts with tears, compassion and an overwhelming sense of connection. We feel eachother's pain, only we know what it means to feel like this, to wonder what on earth the future holds now without him in it. (Thankyou Nonoka for those beautiful recent photos too... Michael looked beyond perfect that day, just sweet and lovely and himself. I appreciate those very much.)

Something has been worrying me quite seriously since this all began. In the first week I was devastated, crying at the drop of a hat just about everywhere I went (including openly in public twice). I was a complete wreck. Due to time zones I was waking up well before dawn to report the testimony, and I think the combination of the lack of sleep combined with the nature of what was being revealed in court was never going to end in anything but devastation. Since then though, I have been coping with everything I have seen and heard. I haven't fallen apart. Infact, I am deeply concerned that I am not processing this properly at all because I seem to be travelling along relatively emotionless. Friends say that it is likely to hit me when it is over, but that doesn't give me any comfort. Everyone is suffering, and I am using this period to be a source of support for those who need it, but in my heart I am very worried. I feel like I am doing Michael wrong somehow by reacting the way I am, or rather not being able to feel anything. Most days I watch the trial and the whole thing feels like a film, like it is all abstract and has nothing to do with Michael at all... that is how much I have detached Michael from this entire process. Because Michael is in my heart and mind 24 hours a day (photographs, music, videos etc.) in many ways it is as though my mind has convinced itself that Michael is still here in some ways. I know that it is only a matter of time before there is a total emotional breakdown, but it feels as though I am meant to be having that now. It concerns me more than I am capable of expressing, so if anyone here is 'strange' (which all of you most certainly are not) it is most definitely me.

I hope it is okay for me to remind everyone that Michael is only physically gone. He lives forever, not only on this planet but also in each of us. He is eternal. Although time may pass, Michael is always with us.
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Still emotionally absent. Seems not even anyone here understands that. At least you have eachother to relate to.
 
roomdownstairs said:
Still emotionally absent. Seems not even anyone here understands that. At least you have eachother to relate to.
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No, I understand, completely. I watch those sessions every single day, and it's not real to me either. Feels like I'm watching L.A Law or something. I heard Michael's name, but my brain doesnt associate it with the person they're talking about. I focuse on translating all those details, but it's absolutely not real.

You know, I think it's a defense mechanism of our brains. If we really acknowledged the reality of this, we would break down. Like the accident I talked about, which I absolutely dont remember, while I was conscious. I dont think I could handle the truth. It's too much, it's too painful, its insane. Your brain is protecting you. Like Severus said, whatever works, dont question it, use it. But by all means dont feel guilty.
 
Ben said:
No, I understand, completely. I watch those sessions every single day, and it's not real to me either. Feels like I'm watching L.A Law or something. I heard Michael's name, but my brain doesnt associate it with the person they're talking about. I focuse on translating all those details, but it's absolutely not real.

You know, I think it's a defense mechanism of our brains. If we really acknowledged the reality of this, we would break down. Like the accident I talked about, which I absolutely dont remember, while I was conscious. I dont think I could handle the truth. It's too much, it's too painful, its insane. Your brain is protecting you. Like Severus said, whatever works, dont question it, use it. But by all means dont feel guilty.
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:better: Ben and everyone here...

I :bow: with the BOLD quote... If you find what makes you TICK in the NORMAL rhythm of life??? DON'T fight it... USE to your advantage... Its your SURVIVAL...
Indeed, I go to trail stream NOT for Chernoff's smart questions or Flousy handsome look :beee:
BUT for YOU... The MJ fam were we can joke and process all the BS thrown at us...

Don't despair, Severus & Thrillerchild and everyone fearing the black hole after the verdict...
WE STILL HAVE EACH OTHER... HERE on MJJcommunity :wub: We can stay in touch over FB, Twitter ;)

I really HOPE to see you all guys one fine day :wild:
 
As much as I agree with you, Daryll, the thing is, you cant spend your time online, and there's a point where virtual hugs and silent convos are not enough anymore.
 
Guys, Michael is alive in the spirit. Feel his love around you. Do not despair.
 
I am not wanting to leave to forget Michael but to try and move on. I have been a member of this community for about eight yrs and have very much enjoyed my time here but feel that since Michael is no longer with us and is not ever coming back then I feel it is an appropriate time to celebrate and remember him in my own way. The forum is a reminder of he fact that we do not have any more new albums or pictures to look at anymore. We will never see Michael smile laugh or talk again and this is very sad but I do not wish to discuss his passing forevermore. This is not to say that this forum is not a wonderful place full of fab lovely people and I have had alot of great convos and fun here and still really admire the amount of brainpower there is on here! The fact that that Sneddon in 2003 wanted to shut us down is proof of that. You are all great folks here and your love for Michael is one I will ALWAYS share. I may be lurking from time to time but won't be as active as I have been.
I want to thank Gaz, the mods and everyone who I have met and talked to on this board all these yrs.
MJJC ROCKS!
 
Ben said:
I dont think I could handle the truth. It's too much, it's too painful, its insane. Your brain is protecting you. Like Severus said, whatever works, dont question it, use it. But by all means dont feel guilty.
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DON'T QUOTE ME I've already gone mad!!! I tried, but I failed!
ThrillerChild said:
I'm already getting that empty feeling The only thing I can truly look forward to and get excited about is when The Immortal World Tour arrives in the UK Things just ain't the same anymore and once the trial is over...*sigh*
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I hate that empty feeling. It makes me feel sick. I live in dread of it all my life. I hate it. We've already lost Michael, it really can't get any worse than that, but this just really sets it in stone largely for a lot of external reality. Sure, we'll always have the music. I keep trying to tell myself that so long as an idea remains relevant, it can never really die, but am I just self-administering delusions to soothe the pain which tears at my very insides every moment of every day leading up to this final conclusion, or is there some validity to my statements?

It would seem I am the least qualified person to judge that decision. Although it has been overwhelmingly difficult, we've all come together every day, the same time, the same (virtual) place and looked on as the two sides present their case, for about a month, we've had a purpose. This was largely an escape for me--a world where my words would sort of matter, where I could see the evidence and hold Murray as he deserves: guilty. We brought in our sorrows, and even made a few good inside jokes along the way. It's been a unique experience, and a journey, just like all the other Michael Jackson-related things we've gone through. And now it, too, comes to a close.

I wish I could close right along with it...I gained no closure whatsoever. Only more pain.

......yeah, ready for the other side of me?

We've gotta build our own reality shelter.
I think we can do it.
If we focus enough and don't despair.
Anything is possible.
This is not worse than 06.25.2009.
We have gone on very obviously without forgetting Michael.
Because Michael lasts forever.
You can't kill him, you can't forget him. He's one of the stars.
You can never take a star from the sky, so, so long as there are stars, there he will be.

Yes!
 
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