Support Forum to phase out

Yes I would agree, It definitely has. But the people feeling this way from now on still have plenty of different people to contact. This just shouldnt be the place to go instead of a professional.

Thats a good suggestion but I think that it may end up clogged with people posting as its the only thread on the subject. Those wanting to help being bogged down and losing track of who says what, the atmosphere being lowered by everyone of the same bad state together...

By these threads clogging up with people posting, don't you think that's a good sign that people still need it? There are a lot of people who are going to struggle hard because of the closing of this forum.

Not everybody wants to go to a real life professional. Sometimes it's a hell of a lot easier to post online where nobody knows you, can see you or hear you physically. You can read their posts and take it how you will.

I don't think this forum was about people looking for attention. Maybe there were theads on little things that upset people throughout their day. But I guarantee those people felt a lot better after posting about it and reading people's responses, just knowing that somebody is listening to them. We all help each other and if some people post to get some attention, then maybe it's because they are really struggling and need to reach out to others to know that they are not alone.
 
By these threads clogging up with people posting, don't you think that's a good sign that people still need it? There are a lot of people who are going to struggle hard because of the closing of this forum.

Yes, people do need help, im not saying they don't. But there are enough people willing to help that we no longer need individual threads. If you want more than one opinion you can contact as many as you like. Why run the risk of recieving un-necessary comments (believe me I have seen them) when you can have a quiet, one on one discussion?

Not everybody wants to go to a real life professional. Sometimes it's a hell of a lot easier to post online where nobody knows you, can see you or hear you physically. You can read their posts and take it how you will.

Yes it may be easier and less hassle but you are still denying yourself. I've seen people on here asking others to go get proper help, and they dont. Then what? What relief does telling 'nobody' your problems give? Sure you can post to nobody, but the responsess should be taken as if nobody said them (as in, you cant fully trust what they say). Anyway, you can't deny that a professional who knows what they are doing 100% is safer than posting onto the internet. They are there with you, can read your body language and over time can learn your traits and personality to further analyse and provide solutions. We just want them to see someone in person.

I also want you to know Im not disagreeing with you. Your points are very valid and necessary questions, I'm only answering them in this way to show why MJJC decided on the decision. :)
 
I'm not saying any of you are doing this, but some times people love the attention they get from claiming they are in pain.
Look at how many posts the support forum has!
That is grounds for getting attention.
*I'm hurt.*
Then people flood the thread with love and beautiful thoughts.
That's not normal.

Another thing that is happening, people are NOT getting help.
Being sad, that's normal.
Hearing a song, smelling a scent, seeing a movie etc. that reminds you of Michael and makes you cry, that's normal.
Wanting to hurt yourself, that's not normal.
You must seek help away from the board.
You must talk to someone face to face.

Closing this support forum will force people to get that help they need.
The sooner the better.

It shouldn't matter if they close it now or six months from now.
If you can't cope, you need to get help.

Wow thats a bit harsh saying people are doing it for attention!

Sometimes in some cases yes i totally agree professional help is needed and is the only way forward! However if some are feeling slightly down its comforting to know there are other people who feel the same way! Its good to know other people understand and feel the way you do! Makes you feel slightly normal!

I have days where i struggle luckily i have trusted friends i can talk to outside of the support forum however i sometimes come in hear and read what other people are going through to understand more! To relate to people!

Oh and in a year i still wont go through everyday coping with it! It will take me a lifetime!!
 
Anyway, you can't deny that a professional who knows what they are doing 100% is safer than posting onto the internet. They are there with you, can read your body language and over time can learn your traits and personality to further analyse and provide solutions. We just want them to see someone in person.

Safer? I think it's safe to say that we all feel comfortable posting on this board. We like to believe everyone of us knows how each other is feeling because of the same love we had for Michael. Therefore it's a lot easier to talk to people here about your grief than a "professional" in real life that may not know a damn thing about Michael. Therefore the advice they give you may not be as helpful as the things people on here give.

I understand that professionals are used to these things and have their way with helping situations. But at a time like this, I believe it's easier and more helpful for most of us to talk to real fans who are going through the same thing.
 
Wow thats a bit harsh saying people are doing it for attention!

She wasn't saying it for certain nor was she naming names. With some of the replies ive seen here I'm guilty of thinking the same thing. Still, I can't assume these so I go on helping...

Sometimes in some cases yes i totally agree professional help is needed and is the only way forward! However if some are feeling slightly down its comforting to know there are other people who feel the same way! Its good to know other people understand and feel the way you do! Makes you feel slightly normal!

I have days where i struggle luckily i have trusted friends i can talk to outside of the support forum however i sometimes come in hear and read what other people are going through to understand more! To relate to people!

This sub-board is likely to end up archived for those who wish to read up on solutions to similar problems - and how to deal with them.

Again you have every right to disagree with the decision, I'm just trying to justify MJJC. :)
 
She wasn't saying it for certain nor was she naming names. With some of the replies ive seen here I'm guilty of thinking the same thing. Still, I can't assume these so I go on helping...

This sub-board is likely to end up archived for those who wish to read up on solutions to similar problems - and how to deal with them.

Again you have every right to disagree with the decision, I'm just trying to justify MJJC. :)

I didnt say she did i just think that maybe if u think that keep it inside!

I am not saying MJJC are doing anything wrong I can see why they are doing it i just think people still need this place thats all!
 
Safer? I think it's safe to say that we all feel comfortable posting on this board. We like to believe everyone of us knows how each other is feeling because of the same love we had for Michael. Therefore it's a lot easier to talk to people here about your grief than a "professional" in real life that may not know a damn thing about Michael. Therefore the advice they give you may not be as helpful as the things people on here give.

I understand that professionals are used to these things and have their way with helping situations. But at a time like this, I believe it's easier and more helpful for most of us to talk to real fans who are going through the same thing.

The way I see it, if you need help, it's there in the form of one person. We have all been through the same thing and some are willing to help others through it. Is that much worse than a group of different people saying different things? In a way, the whole site is a group of people saying things together. There are plenty of threads in different locations around that is full of a positive vibe. As I say, if you want to contact everyone in that list of names then feel free.

Ill leave it at this:
MJJC feels that it is more important to go to a facility if you feel suicidal. They don't want people becoming dependent on the board instead of going somewhere that deals with it professionaly.
 
I just thought I'd say my piece.
I feel it's risky to close this section. Clearly many people are using it as a crutch. I don't think the majority of these people are likely to seek professional help, and so this might be their only outlet. Sometimes it's cathartic to just get your feelings out and have people empathise with you.
I'm scared and worried. :worried: Please be sure. It's only been five months (hasn't that time flown :( ) and people should not be expected to be coping well with Michael's death yet. I feel this section should be kept going at the very least until a year has passed.
But that's just my opinion and I don't wish to step on anyone's toes so please don't think I am!
I understand the reasoning behind it but I have to repeat that it's been a mere five months..
 
I think what a lot of people are concerned about is that talking to a professional in real life isn't the same as talking to a battle-hardened Michael fan.. just about all of us here. We all know the real Michael Jackson. Not the one which was splashed across the gossip section in a tabloid magazine - but the real man. Talking to a psychologist (and not that I would because I'm in a better place now in regards to Michael) may be difficult for some because the people here at MJJC know Michael truly and the love and support that is present here is very palpable and real. I agree however, that some should seek the help of hotlines and psychologists just to help the mending process. Members can only do so much! Especially considering we are not connected face-to-face.

And it doesn't mean that all of us on this forum are going to pack up and leave. Why don't we just create a support discussion thread in the General Discussion part of the forum or something? If people are feeling down they can go there? It would in the exact same manner almost. We should start up a thread like that.. and in the first post put down all those members who are willing to support others. So that if in the instance a sad forumer comes to that thread they know who they can PM.

I'll put my hand up for that..
 
We should just have one thread called You Are Not Alone.. and then there are not multiple threads and that way every message will get read. I know many of us are still struggling and need help. Would that work?
 
We should just have one thread called You Are Not Alone.. and then there are not multiple threads and that way every message will get read. I know many of us are still struggling and need help. Would that work?

That is a lovely idea. The name is beautiful.
 
We should just have one thread called You Are Not Alone.. and then there are not multiple threads and that way every message will get read. I know many of us are still struggling and need help. Would that work?

Totally stole my idea :p

Only kidding babe. Beautiful name too :)
 
I just don't want this forum to disappear, and people becoming discouraged because they will feel no one cares even on here!
 
Such a good point.

It's true I mean now everyone is hurt,so it's normal for people to express their grief. I am totally against suicide but closing the forum will stress people even more. There has been almost no news about Michael in the last weeks, and people find comfort in this thread. When it's gone they will be gone with it.
 
It's true I mean now everyone is hurt,so it's normal for people to express their grief. I am totally against suicide but closing the forum will stress people even more. There has been almost no news about Michael in the last weeks, and people find comfort in this thread.

I completely agree. If you read my post just above I said basically the same thing.
I think it's very dangerous to close the section at this time, when people's wounds are so open and painful.
 
Yes, people do need help, im not saying they don't. But there are enough people willing to help that we no longer need individual threads. If you want more than one opinion you can contact as many as you like. Why run the risk of recieving un-necessary comments (believe me I have seen them) when you can have a quiet, one on one discussion?

Yes it may be easier and less hassle but you are still denying yourself. I've seen people on here asking others to go get proper help, and they dont. Then what? What relief does telling 'nobody' your problems give? Sure you can post to nobody, but the responsess should be taken as if nobody said them (as in, you cant fully trust what they say). Anyway, you can't deny that a professional who knows what they are doing 100% is safer than posting onto the internet. They are there with you, can read your body language and over time can learn your traits and personality to further analyse and provide solutions. We just want them to see someone in person.

Thanks for the clarity of this post. The decision to close the Support Forum was unanimous among Senior Staff. There have been threads posted recently that are quite alarming, and I'm not sure if you realize, but they have an effect on the rest of the board, too, and on people's emotions. We are not acting in any sort of professional capacity here, although we DO understand that some continue to suffer greatly.

There are MANY people willing to help, so be sure you copy that information. It might even be better to talk to someone in a more private way? Mostly, though, there is concern that if someone is seriously distressed, this board does not replace the genuine help a trained professional can offer in beginning to recover from the intense grief.

I really hope everyone understands. . . . .

love,

Victoria
 
It might sound harsh, but I'm calling it the way I see it.


If you need to go to the support forum every day for a *pick me up*, you need to seek a professional's help.

When was the last time I cried over Michael? This morning.
Did I need the support forum? No. I just let my tears fall and wrote in my journal to Michael about how I missed him.

People need to learn how to deal with their grief.

I'm having a hard time right now, but I must face it.

Tuesday will be my first birthday without Michael.
Did he even know who I am? No, but it still hurts knowing I am having my special day without him being a part of it. I will make sure to do something to honor the way I feel. Even if it's crying my eyes out while watching the HIStory concert.

You must let your emotions out. You can't keep them bottled inside.
You also can't keep posting them here. That doesn't do you any good.
Family must know if you are thinking of suicide.
Been there done that. Even got the professional help. It does help to have someone else to talk with.
 
^

MYAS having a journal is a great idea... Casey sent me one (thanks Casey!) and I have been writing in it... It really helps. Also the apple heads thread always helps to cheer me up a little.
 
It might sound harsh, but I'm calling it the way I see it.


If you need to go to the support forum every day for a *pick me up*, you need to seek a professional's help.


When was the last time I cried over Michael? This morning.
Did I need the support forum? No. I just let my tears fall and wrote in my journal to Michael about how I missed him.

People need to learn how to deal with their grief.

I'm having a hard time right now, but I must face it.

Tuesday will be my first birthday without Michael.
Did he even know who I am? No, but it still hurts knowing I am having my special day without him being a part of it. I will make sure to do something to honor the way I feel. Even if it's crying my eyes out while watching the HIStory concert.

You must let your emotions out. You can't keep them bottled inside.
You also can't keep posting them here. That doesn't do you any good.
Family must know if you are thinking of suicide.
Been there done that. Even got the professional help. It does help to have someone else to talk with.

I agree with you, and the part that bolded, I may have to say that not all of it is Michael death, but something more.
 
Last edited:
The "suicide threads" must be taken seriously, but they are beyond the capacity of the staff and posters in the Support Forum to deal with. We are not acting in a professional capacity here, and ultimately we are words on a page, not a "real" person to have a face-to-face conversation with. There has been a proliferation of "suicide" threads lately. I DO understand the amount of pain some are feeling. Ultimately, though, it's important that those who are having such thoughts tell their FAMILIES, and seek counseling.

There can be a spiraling effect. The threads offer comfort, but also are extremely distressing to some, and ALL people are important here. In those threads there are many, many offers of advice to get counseling, and some are not taking that advice, but continuing to post the same things here. We DO care, but we are words on a page? Understand? There is a great comfort in taking face-to-face with a professional counselor, that can't be duplicated on the internet. I hope that many who post here have made friends and have taken up on the offer to do PM or IM sessions. That can help, but those people, also, are not going to give professional counseling.

There is a specialty in "grief counseling." Those therapists have had years of training and will be able to offer very real suggestions of how to cope. Even a family doctor may be able to give a prescription to get through the worst of it, and turn it around.

It is through concern for those who continue to seem desperate that this Forum is closing. You may not see it that way, but that is truly the case. Above all, for any contemplating suicide, you must realize that it could DESTROY your family! The family reaction to a suicide is a sense of loss, of guilt, and also of anger that a person could leave them that way. Those of you who are desperate owe it to your FAMILIES to get help now.
 
Sad this section will be closed...The suicidal thoughts ain't been the only topics posted here. It's also for those including me who just talk and share thoughts to carry on during this difficult time. Professional help? That can be nothing compared to what we can do for each other right here.

Well, overall I don't know what to say right now cuz I just dropped here to console others and post my own thoughts....Never imagined this section will disappear this soon. Ain't even been 1 year yet.
 
Sad this section will be closed...The suicidal thoughts ain't been the only topics posted here. It's also for those including me who just talk and share thoughts to carry on during this difficult time. Professional help? That can be nothing compared to what we can do for each other right here.

Well, overall I don't know what to say right now cuz I just dropped here to console others and post my own thoughts....Never imagined this section will disappear this soon. Ain't even been 1 year yet.

I will do my best to relocate threads to other forums, but ultimately it's not up to me. ...

There is a thread here of contact info for those who can talk on PM and IM. I hope you copy and paste these. . . .
 
Yes. Very soon every thread will be locked. The forum has run its course. Nearly five months after Michael's passing, if some are still having emotional emergencies, we strongly urge that they seek professional counseling. If depression goes on for too long, it is hard to break the cycle. We will retain the contact info for hotlines and online grief-counseling.

So please begin no new threads here!
If there is material you'd like to save from the forum, I suggest you focus on that?

Be sure and copy the list of those willing to talk by PM, IM, or email, but realize this does not replace professional counseling.

Take care of yourselves, please!

Vic

Are we talking about just the support forum or all the other forums found on mjjc.
 
Are we talking about just the support forum or all the other forums found on mjjc.

It's been decided that the Support Forum will go away now (but not the others) Some of these threads will be found elsewhere, such as 1958 - Forever. For support, there is a thread here of members who will offer one-on-one support.

Please, everyone, take care of each-other now?

Vic
 
You can call me stupid but this forum was a great help to me. and i believe to other people. i was doing better, much better, because of this forum. the closure it's a serious blow. yeah may be i need professional help. but i will not go to get it. because i believe they wont understand. because it costs lots of money that i dont have. because it doesnt give you the feeling of a family. when we were allowed to talk about how we feel, it would help.

again im glad for people that are doing fine. and yeah it's a good idea to put down your thoughts in your diary but it doesnt give you the feeling of the family.

i know my opinion will not change the decision. but at least i want to say that to me personally it's a blow. it's like loosing all your friends at once.
 
Catherine please don't worry.

The friendship, the support, the comfort and hold will stay with the fans staying.

But it's time to focus on Michael and being a fan again.

We're not a board with the focus on depression, borderline, bipolar, suicidal or grieving ppl. There's lots of boards like that online with very experienced ppl monitoring.
It's time to make clear this is not a focus of this board.

Being a MJJfan obviously means anyways to be supportive for other fans to me.
This will stay on here being a MJJ fan community... but the focus should be Michael clearly again? I feel also it's about time... it is a good decision.
 
I totally understand why this has to soon be closed. It's unhealthy and dangerous.

I and many other fans will always be here for one another though so it will be just fine.

Keep the faith.

L.O.V.E.
 
Catherine please don't worry.

The friendship, the support, the comfort and hold will stay with the fans staying.

.

how if it's not allowed to talk about how we feel anymore?
well it's over anyway.

yeah i know "see your doctor" thing now
it's ok with me. i can deal with it.
thank you very much everybody who was very helpful. thank you Mechi for your beautiful posts. i will be missing them. i will be missing other posts. thank you everybody again.
 
how if it's not allowed to talk about how we feel anymore?
well it's over anyway.

It is allowed! You'll find that in other threads when ppl post about Michael, it's to find there already now.
Emotions have always been a part of fandom.

We can and many of us will stay in touch if you like please be a part of that.
 
Back
Top