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How often do you get 'those moments' about MJ's death?

MoonWalkinYiddo said:
You know the ones I mean. You can listen to his music, watch him on TV, youtube etc and comfortably enjoy what you are watching, and then BAM. You are hit by it, and you are hit with sadness and the realisation that he is no longer with us.

It happens around every other day or so with me. It just happened a few minutes ago. So sad that he never got to share his magic with us - not only the music, but his directing, classical album etc. He had so much left to give.
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It happens every day to me. I just wish I could change the past but I cannot and unfortunately at some point I am going to have to except what happened. It is very difficult to.
 
it happens to me when im not listening to his music, somtimes i can be just releaxing and then BAM! i feel sick and just wanna go to sleep
 
BadEraSexy said:
it happens in random bursts for me. I've been listening to his music nonstop and watching his videos so much that i oversaturate myself so as to forget, just appreciate it. Then I'll see something that says RIP or 1958-2009 and i just burst into tears. It's seeing the DATES that confirm it for me, it's over.
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Oh, I can totally relate to this. I've just been watching upbeat fan vids on youtube for the last hour or so, and I felt alright until I made the mistake of clicking on the last one which ended with a montage of newspaper and website headlines of "Michael Jackson dead/died/passed away" and fans with "RIP" tshirts. :(

It's strange though, cause when Im reading threads that are discussing the investigation in to his passing, I dont feel like this, I just read without feeling any emotion trying to absorb the info and connect dots. It's like my mind doesn't quite register that we're talking about OUR Mike, its just some random death investigation...But when I see photographs of Michael or fans alongside certain words that we've already mentioned I'm hit by a sudden wave of sadness... :'(

And other times I'll sit there in complete disbelief and question if any of this is even real?
 
It happens to me pretty much everyday. I'll see a book, her his music and then I'll realize I will never get to see him in real life. I miss him so much. I can just stare at a photo of his for hours feeling sad and empty.
 
Bereavement is a process, acceptance is the hard part, now that the shock and the acceptance has kicked in you just start missing someone. It is still early days, and I fear the worst is yet to come with the autopsy reports. We may have to face the fact that the stories over the years of drugs is true, we never wanted to believe it, but it could be he was a deeply troubled man unable to bring himself to get the psycological help he really needed. Who could he trust to pour out his inner demons to. Looking back there was self destruction going on for a long time. Maybe once we come to terms with this we may find comfort in the fact that he is at peace now, a peace he would never have had in this world.
 
OMG I get those too. I thought something was wrong with me. Sometimes i feel alone because there is no one that I can explain those feelings to without sounding like a nutcase or some psycho fan.
 
I am glad to know I am not the only one. I was in the airport looking for MJ mags and I was looking through different ones and felt my bottom lip quivering I was doing my hardest to not just have a big full blown cry. Then I got the Ebony tribute mag but waited until I got home to look at it and next thing I know I was crying.. I was in the middle of Time Square in NYC and someone asked me about my MJ Tshirt I had on and I felt my face getting hot and my eyes starting to water.. I just have to avoid talking about him or else I am going to lose it.
 
How often do you get 'those moments' about MJ's death?
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At least once or twice a day now.
It used to be half the day, every day when we first heard.
It hurts so bad when I see those dates too. Thats one reason
I'm glad Gary changed the banner on the forum. It was a punch
in the gut everytime I saw it. And still, whenever I see links
and stuff on the net saying... KOP D*** at 50....I get so emotional.
I couldnt even listen to his music or watch his videos for a long while.
Too painful and a constant reminder of what & who we have lost.
Just today, I was watching some concert footage on YT and seeing
the King at work made me smile in complete awe and fight back tears at the same time.

This is a tragedy that will be a very long time in the healing.
 
every day , a couple of times for at least a short period... and it's a really bothering experience... when i don't feel that way it's like "what, that's stupid, you should be happy and proud" but then it hits me so hard....
 
I really cry when I meet ppl that have never seen him in concert.. I can never fully explain how wonderful it was to see a person you love with all your heart (that is not related to you or that may be your significant other lol) sing and dance their heart out on a stage. and I am crying right now as I type this. damn damn damn
 
It happens most days.
Today I had a moment when I saw that "The Essential Michael Jackson" was still at number 1 in Ireland. People still care. I have this fear that one day he won't be spoken about anymore. I dread that day :(
 
Emerald said:
It happens most days.
Today I had a moment when I saw that "The Essential Michael Jackson" was still at number 1 in Ireland. People still care. I have this fear that one day he won't be spoken about anymore. I dread that day :(
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That will never happen. His family and kids will make sure of that. Elvis, John Lennon, Jimmy Hendrix, Marilyn Monroe, Mozart, Bethoeven... are still talked about and idolised until this day. MJ will last waaay longer than those, especially since he was the most famous person on earth.
 
All the time. Actually half of the time I feel in denial like he's really still here, but then it just hits me he can no longer experience this, sharing his music with everyone, loving his fans. Then seeing videos on YouTube with the title "Michael Jackson Dead at 50" just really drives it home. :(
 
All the time...I'll just be here doing something and then I see him smile or hear him laugh in a clip or listen to a song of his and the tears just start rolling down my cheeks.

It's hard but what to do....I just hope Michael knows how much I (and so many others) love him.
 
every SINGLE DAY! ill be doing good to,then he makes a face,says a line or word,hits a certain move and im like damn,is he really gone,was this really it. ugh
 
Every single day more then 10x a day. My mind be turning some nasty tricks on me. And I'll try to get better and tell myself to stop this because it will never bring him back. But it doesn't work. I feel like michael would have been here had he did one thing different that night. or what if michael coulda just survived his arrest. its so crazy that I was 18 days from finally seeing him in the flesh and now I'll never see him. I hate how final this is. It like I have to live the rest of what ever my life is dealing with this and I just hate it. I don't want to feel like this everyday of my life. You couldn't have paid me to believe michael would die in 09. I just can't believe nor do I want to accept this. My mind has come up with so many scenarios that maybe he's still here and i have to keep reminding myself to stop it.:no:


This is me to a T. I couldn't have worded it better myself.
StarTrader said:
It's strange though, cause when Im reading threads that are discussing the investigation in to his passing, I dont feel like this, I just read without feeling any emotion trying to absorb the info and connect dots. It's like my mind doesn't quite register that we're talking about OUR Mike, its just some random death investigation...But when I see photographs of Michael or fans alongside certain words that we've already mentioned I'm hit by a sudden wave of sadness... :'(

And other times I'll sit there in complete disbelief and question if any of this is even real?
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Just a note on what was one of my biggest "moments" about Michael's death.
I was at the cinema the day after the memorial.
I was feeling down obviously even before I even went there. But when I sat down and the film started playing I honestly teared up..it felt suffocating. Michael Jackson was gone. The world felt empty and lonely. There I was with my popcorn in my lap thinking Michael would never again get to experience what I was experiencing that night - movie and popcorn, and we all know how much he loved that.
That was one of my toughest moments. :cry:
 
I really don't get all that sad anymore. Haven't cried in quite some time. I'm more so angry at this point than anything.

He should be alive and the more I think about it the angrier I become. The man should be performing shows in London right now but he's not. With everything that was planned...he was set for such a huge comeback into the mainstream. Not that he was ever really out of it but everyone understands what I mean. The thought of "what if" will simply always be there! And it sucks.

I will forever be angry. But for the past two weeks or so I have been thinking of the good times and listening to his songs and just enjoying his legacy. It's the only thing we're left to do.

But again the whole "what if" thing will always be a torn in my side.
 
Everyday...............
Its surreal to be talking about his death investigation instead of the london shows.
HIs songs, his words, his images are everywhere And they bring an instant smile to my face but then I realize those are it.
Nothing new will occur, nothing else to look forward to.
Its sad
A part of me still can't believe its true, and maybe becuase of the mystery surrounding his death I truly feel like this wasn't supposed to be.
 
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It literally haunts me.

I cannot stop thinking about him, what he was feeling at the time, what he wanted to do....the things he's done and what could have been. I am feeling the regret of not ever being able to attend one of his concerts or meeting him to tell him how he's touched my life, and the things that I'm interested in as it relates to him....the pain of how he felt, how he felt trapped, no one to trust....it's just a f*cking mess!

I lay in bed, try to sleep between 1:30-3:30 so I'll sleep right through....then I wake up in the morning and that feeling of reality hits me! The emptyness comes back. Does anyone feel this way? I mean, it's not liek I knew the gentleman personally but...the majoity of your life spent looking up to them, feeling proud of them and happy and wanting them to continue that success in both performing and life...it just aches.

Michael's death has definitely affected me. I feel a loss, I feel empty inside, ...my heart just aches....there's a void in my life....

But what haunts me the most, is the image of Katherine and those childern. I cannot get those images out of my head. I feel sooo bad for them...just looking at old photos and performances when Katherine was watching them and celebrating and Mike's childern ... they were all brought to life by his presence, as we were.

God, what a loss. The tears are always just beneath the surface. One comfort, I know that I'm not alone in my pain. Thanks for the support everyone.
 
Oh I get those moments everyday.

I stopped watching the news weeks ago.

I was listenig to Dirty Diana on my laptop in bed full blast last night and I just started to tear up, as I looked at my poster at the same time and thinking about whats happened, what we've lost :cry: and even what was to come from This Is It the Dirty Diana performance and everything just comes back:cry:

it just not right at all:boohoo:

I miss you sooo much:cry:
 
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Yes that happened to me too. I'm ok listening to his msuic and watching him on youtube and then it hits me I'm upset again
 
i was watching some of Michaels music videons on VH1 Classic at the weekend and it hit me then too :(
 
Scorpio said:
he was set for such a huge comeback into the mainstream. Not that he was ever really out of it but everyone understands what I mean. The thought of "what if" will simply always be there! And it sucks.

But again the whole "what if" thing will always be a torn in my side.
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i got ur meaning......ive the feeling.....
what if ,oh, "if he didn't.....,he should have......."

StarTrader said:
It's strange though, cause when Im reading threads that are discussing the investigation in to his passing, I dont feel like this, I just read without feeling any emotion trying to absorb the info and connect dots. It's like my mind doesn't quite register that we're talking about OUR Mike, its just some random death investigation...But when I see photographs of Michael or fans alongside certain words that we've already mentioned I'm hit by a sudden wave of sadness... :'(

And other times I'll sit there in complete disbelief and question if any of this is even real?
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same here
i am located in shanghai ,china
u know,i am afraid of hearing his name on tv news,especially in chinese
it really really sounds like a stranger's name to me
i was just like ,"who is the man?they are talking about michael ? oh,no way....he passes away?"
and just after his death, the rumours began
i just read them, but i didnt realize they were about michael
they were just info.....

i laughed and then cried for the flashmob(in stockholm) on youtube
if they had done it a bit earlier, michael would be happy about it ....."Hee----Hee-----"
but its ok,he can feel it ,i believe

and i forgot to tell how often,cuz i cant~~~~
 
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