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Is anyone finding it easier????

michaels wendy bird

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I need to ask because im not, i think i am coming to terms with it and then bang it hits me all over again! The problem is everytime it hits me again it hurts more and more. I dont think i am ever gonna come to terms with it. I am scared that for the rest of my life this is going to be bringing me down. I thought the saying was time heals well the more time that goes on the worse i feel! How is that right??? Then i think i am being selfish for being this upset, Michael had three beautiful children that need every ones love and support and all i can think about is my own stupid feelings! God when is this gonna stop hurting???
 
I feel the exact same way, really. The hurt, the guilt feeling of being selfish - everything you just mentioned - reading it I almost felt like I had typed it.
I don't honestly, personaly think that we can even think about healing right now, spesh as we still have so much to come from Michael - such as TII movie. And with there being tributes here there and everywhere.
For me, it is still so painfully raw. Every picture, song, video etc is hard to hear and watch - and yet I can't stop myself fron listening and looking. I don't really understand that bit - why I have to watch knowing that I will end up crying again and again.

So I guess the best we can do right now is to try to cope, to survive by sticking by one another, to come together and share our pain.
I just found this site 4 days ago, and the support I've got from here over these few days has been more than I have had since Michael............ sorry - I can't type it..... you know.........
Omg - even now typing this i've began to cry, it hurts so much, I feel your pain, I really do. :boohoo:
Huge hugs.

xxx
 
Well welcome to the forum honey, i was relieved i found this place! Im so pleased (not pleased but you know what i mean) that you understand how i feel! Things just feel worse and worse every day! If i do feel ok its just a quick fix, god I am finding this so hard at the minute i just wanna scream! I dont even know what to say anymore! If you wanna chat hun just PM me at least you know i can relate xxx
 
Thanx hun, it is a comfort to know that you are not alone in this and that others are experiencing the same feelings. Same here, just PM me anytime, even if all you wanna do is scream! I don't know about you but I don't have any1 around me at all that is even a Michael fan - let alone understand what we are all going through. So here is the one and only place for me to do this, to say what i actually feel and I guess that must be better than just having to deal with this in silence and alone, which is what i've been having to do up until 4days ago!
xxx
 
:hug:

me too I feel im getting worse.. the pain is too much now. oh Michael :cry:
 
Count me in. I'm feeling worse and worse as the time goes by... For a while I tought I was feeling better (me and my hubby were on holiday in Thailand for two weeks), but as I got back home i hit me again. Michael is not here, but my life is exacly the same. My life without him. I've been crying for two days now, again. And I just can't tell anyone anymore, people around me would think that I'm a completely fruitcake.
But I just can't help it! It hurts so bad, why can't he be here anymore.... WHY? :weeping:
And at the same time I find it selfish too, to miss him so much, while his children and family are trying to cope. And that makes me feel even worse :(
 
It's not easier, it's just....different. I don't think it ever get's easier, I think it's the same when anybody dies especially if you loved somebody. You just learn to cope, the pain never stops but somehow you come to terms with it.

I'm glad you found the site, I found it not long ago too and the support you recieve is very warming, everybody on here is going through the exact same thing and we can all relate but some of you just seem to be stronger, being a male I of course don't cry :D or share feeling much, don't know why LOL. But, on this forum I feel like I can really talk about Michael and how I and everyone else is coping with it.

I hope you all feel better soon and it will get easier. The bad always comes before the good. :better:
 
Yeah, I'm getting worse either.. Yesterday i felt +/- ok but today it's hard indeed again.. Maybe it's crazy but now i even have with me a photo of Michael and look at it when I'm completely out.. it hurts me very badly too..
The time really heals but seems it wont be soon..
 
Big hug to you Danielle :hug: and everyone else ofcourse ;)

I still have to take it day by day.
The past few days have been very bad again seeing the trailer and stuff.
I have noone to talk about how I'm feeling but you guys.
Ppl around me starting to think I'm obsessed...
 
:huggy: MWB :huggy:

I was dealing ok til last week, now I'm back to square one. I have no enthusiasm or energy.

There are certain threads that I would post in because they made me feel better, but I haven't even been able to do that...my hearts not in it :cry:

Everytime I see people talking about the TII movie, I feel sick inside...I will not be able to go and I don't have any excitement about it....I am scared to see it...

I don't know what to say, I was going to type more but my mind is blank. hugs to all :weeping:
 
same here.........................still can't belive it

have had a tough week of it after seeing that trailer too
 
For me it's getting harder as well. I think what hurts most is the fact what people around him did to him, how they used him for their own gain, how they betrayed him for money, how they stole from him... and at the end killed him.
I believe that If it hadn't been for AEG and TII being planned with such crazy timeline giving Michael only 2 months to prepare the shows, he would have been here with us. If he hadn't been under such enormous stress and pressure, he wouldn't have needed propofol to sleep and he wouldn't have needed Murray to administer it to him. He should've been given enough time for preparations, rehearsals, eating and sleeping. He wasn't given any of it... he was given Murray to give him drugs.

I feel sick when I see people excited about TII. I hate coming to forums now, because everywhere there is that joy of TII movie and it's beyond me how people can be excited about it. That's what led to his death, whether you want to believe it or not... They used it to kill him.
 
I just still can't believe it, and seeing the TII trailer hasn't helped either. :(
Hugs to everyone. :huggy:
 
I've been up and down ever since his passing. One day I'll be fine, I find it impossible to be sad about his death. The next I'm just a complete mess, crying at every little thing that reminds me of him. It's weird.
I really want him back but there's times were I can't help but feel like he's still here, he's not gone. Ugh, I wish there was some way to bring him back. :(
 
Count me in, thought it was getting better after the memorial, but came back worse, thought was getting better after MJ's b-day, then came back worse, thought was getting better after funeral, then came worse with TII trailer..

It IS really hard and I understand how you all feel in this thread. I feel alone, not being able to talk to anybody about that that I know in real life, can't get any comfort from anybody cause they just think I'm a no-life crazy obsessed who should really move on.. but I can't...

It is not getting easier for me.
Hugs to you all.
 
micah said:
For me it's getting harder as well. I think what hurts most is the fact what people around him did to him, how they used him for their own gain, how they betrayed him for money, how they stole from him... and at the end killed him.
I believe that If it hadn't been for AEG and TII being planned with such crazy timeline giving Michael only 2 months to prepare the shows, he would have been here with us. If he hadn't been under such enormous stress and pressure, he wouldn't have needed propofol to sleep and he wouldn't have needed Murray to administer it to him. He should've been given enough time for preparations, rehearsals, eating and sleeping. He wasn't given any of it... he was given Murray to give him drugs.

I feel sick when I see people excited about TII. I hate coming to forums now, because everywhere there is that joy of TII movie and it's beyond me how people can be excited about it. That's what led to his death, whether you want to believe it or not... They used it to kill him.
Click to expand...

I must say I am starting to think the same way now

and another thing...it's all going a bit fast, film, tribute show etc etc....he's not even been buried a month...correct me if I'm wrong but surely it takes more than 2 months to make a 'blockbuster', it's almost as if the film was planned a long time ago.... and they are gonna make so much money out of him, as everyone did anyway...it makes me sick :blowup:
 
I feel I've gotten worse. It seems for a while I was kind of able to cope, but now it seems back to how I was in June, etc. I can't smile. I work with the public so all my managers tell me to smile. I just can't. I'm lucky one of the managers is the type to lighten up the mood and is able to make me smile or laugh. Otherwise I find it very hard.
 
micah said:
I feel sick when I see people excited about TII. I hate coming to forums now, because everywhere there is that joy of TII movie and it's beyond me how people can be excited about it. That's what led to his death, whether you want to believe it or not... They used it to kill him.
Click to expand...

I quite agree with you.
And in order to make up a money-making story - the media is going to disable Michael and use the TII-movie as an evidence for Michael's addiction to drugs. The world remains with an image of Michael as a freak. Much more a freak than a legend.
 
michaels wendy bird said:
I need to ask because im not, i think i am coming to terms with it and then bang it hits me all over again! The problem is everytime it hits me again it hurts more and more. I dont think i am ever gonna come to terms with it. I am scared that for the rest of my life this is going to be bringing me down. I thought the saying was time heals well the more time that goes on the worse i feel! How is that right??? Then i think i am being selfish for being this upset, Michael had three beautiful children that need every ones love and support and all i can think about is my own stupid feelings! God when is this gonna stop hurting???
Click to expand...

Baby girl come round for a chat as soon as you can! You know we are both struggling at the minute i think we need to go out and celebrate Michaels life the way we know we can! Chin up sweetheart love you loads xxxxx
 
I think I am slowly getting better. I haven't really cried over Michael all day today. And I have this MJ video clip to thank for it. Well just the begining of it any way. I have been thinking and laughing about it off and on all day today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRLu0ZPoNZo&feature=player_embedded

Hearing Michael laughing at the begining of that video clip was exactly what I needed. Especially since I had woken up from having a very sad MJ dream this morning.
 
I was fine a while ago, after the funeral, I tried to find peace in the whole...you know....and I thought me saying "bye for now" on the day would help. And it did for a while.

But now it's all back. Seeing the trailer (I wish I hadn't) brings it all back. I literally felt sick after I saw it, it's not right.

It's so unfair, to Michael, to his kids.....god those beautiful kids :cry:

He should be here, I really mean that, he SHOULD be here.
 
I'm still going through exactly the same stage as well... Time doesn't make this better, no matter what others say. People tell me to get over the fact that he's gone... Though I really can't. When I watch clips or interviews about him, I get so upset that I just break down. Then I remember Paris, Prince & Blanket. How the hell are they coping, when fans like myself are bursting into tears all too often?

I've also found that I cannot stop listening to his music.. Whenever another song by a different artist plays on my iPod, I feel guilty and switch it to Michael's songs again. I also get shivers whenever I listen to his most powerful song, "Man In The Mirror."

So I do know how you feel, I'm pretty sure most people in this community can say the same. We can all help each other through this tough time...
 
^^ I am the same, about other artists at the moment.

I actually deleted everything off my iPod except Michael, I only want to listen to him :cry:
 
Naytobes said:
^^ I am the same, about other artists at the moment.

I actually deleted everything off my iPod except Michael, I only want to listen to him :cry:
Click to expand...

Ohh no, *hugs*, the majority of my songs are Michael, and all of my videos and photos are of Michael. I just can't seem to let him go, I can see where you're coming from, why keep songs from other artists on there if you only listen to one? My friend recently bought a new iPod, just for MJ'S songs alone.

I have the same worry as the thread starter, will we be like this from now on? It's been a few months now, and most of us can't seem to move on. I feel terrible for his kids...
 
How could it be easier if sometimes i have troubles believing that Michael is really death?

I feel him so alive in my heart!Sometimesit is scary because i think that all this is a nightmare,when in reality,it's the truth unffortunately.

I already had times where i had to say to myself that Michael is death.he really is,and it dosen't matter what i want or think.

There's not one day that i don't miss him....so much!
 
Iam trying to cope and mourn as much as i can bc it still doesnt seem real and then it hits me and i once again have another one of my crying spells. I just cant get over him being gone. its just too painful! Ive finally found the courage to start listening to his music again and it make sme feel better but i skip certain songs bc they will just get me crying again.

I understand how it all seems selfish that we are mourning him when it his family and children are the ones who need all the support they can get. believe me my heart goes out to his family and his children bc i just cant even think about what those poor kids are going through everyday having to hear or read something about their dad's passing or some crazy rumor that people just dont let go. I hope they arer being kept from that though bc thats just not right or anything those kids need to hear about at all.

Michael loved us all and we loved him very much. so much that we stood by him during his hardest times and he saw our love and support and he showerd us with even more love and support bc he knew we were hurting to just as he was. Loosing Michael is just too hard to even accept. But i know we can all get through it or at the most keep him alive in our hearts and through his music. If you guys think about it it feels like Michael is still with us in spirit just watching over us all espeacaily his family and children and trying to make sure we are all ok. i just hope that whatever Michael is doing now in heaven or where ever he is i just truly pray that he is finally at peace and no longer hurting.
 
well, for me
2 weeks ago i thought i felt better
i had stopped crying
but then all these footage of him on the last day started to come up
i cry every night since they released the "This Is It" teaser
when i think it was just 2 days before he died & he was laughing & goofing around like he always did, it breaks me inside & i start crying again

now, even when i watch any concerts of his (HIStory or Dangerous) i start crying specially when watching songs like "Stranger In Moscow", "She's Out Of My Life"
& all i keep playing are "I'll Be There", "Smile" & "Gone Too Soon" :cry:
i wish the pain would stop

will it ever? after seeing these last photos of him & the "Human Nature" rehearsal i don't think it will, but i can't stop watching the video & many users here have the last photos as their signatures, i keep seeing them everywhere
 
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