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Sorry...I have to open up

mariemarie...Your words touched me deep.Thank you so much for your love and support.
Yes i do all i can for my mother because she person i love the most in this world.I just i'm not sosure about the strengh you say i have,I feel so tired of all this you know?
Anyways...thank you so much for your prayers.HUGS

Carol...that is a question i do to myself all the time.How and why can't my family,my mom's family,not care about what is going on?Till today the only answer i have is that they are very selfish perople that only think and care of themselfs.i just pray that when my uncles and aunts need help from her daughters and sons,they don't do the same,as they are doing to my mother now.
If it is painfull for me,it is even more for my mother to see that her brothers and her sister don't care at all,unless my mom ends in ICU for some reason.
My mother was always a person to do everything for the family and now this what she is getting.If there's someone i know that dosen't deserve what is going through,is my mother.If i could do more...If i could take away all her pains...I beleive that they will realise that what they are doing to my mom is wrong,when my uncles and aunt need help,and my cousins will not care at all.I only fear it can be too late.

LindaC781...My friend...you know much better than me that my mother dosen't have much time alive.
Yes i beleive in miracles and i do have a lot of faith,but i keep being told to get ready...to prepare myself for the worst that can happen anytime.Her aneurisma is growing...
Thank you so much for your kind words.HUGS

Bl00dyphynix...You have no idea how much this thread is helping me dealing with my life.
For 2 and half years,i was dealing with this situation almost alone.(of course i had always supoport from my boyfriend,from my family doctor,and one or 2 friends,that are the ones that still are here for me as much as possible),but most of the times,i was keeping to myself all i'm going through.
I had to end up in the hospital myself to realise that i should find a way to open up,because this is a very hard burden to cary alone
.I always loved this forum very much.That is why i thought about this place,and i am very glad to realise that i have much more help and support than i was expecting.
This is why i want to thank you and everybody in here,for all the support,love and prayers.
Since i started this thread here,i don't feel that alone,and i know that i'll be listened.Thank you so so much to all of you from the bottom of my heart.

God Bless you all
 
Hey Maria :)

Anything new? Do the doctors keep you up to date on a regular basis?
Do you have some good news? :angel:

May God grant you with the courage and the strength to overcome these difficult times:angel:

*Hugs*
 
In every need let me come to you with humble trust saying: Jesus help me!
In all my doubs, perplexities, and temptations: Jesus, help me!
In hours of lonlieness, weariness and trials: Jesus, help me!
In the failure of my plans and hopes, in disappointments, troubles and sorows: Jesus, help me!
When others fail me, and Your grace alone can assist me: Jesus, help me!
When i throw myself on You tender Love as Savior: Jesus, help me!
When my heart is cast down by failure, at seeing no good come out of my efforts: Jesus, help me!
When i feel impatient and my cross irritates me: Jesus, help me!
When i am ill and my head and hands cannot work and i am lonely: Jesus, help me!
Always, always in spite of weekness, falls and shortcomings of every kind: Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, help me and never forsake me.

I dont know who wrote this sadly, but its a wonderful prayer. I thought it was perfect for you. :) I suggest you take this and say it whenever you are feeling weary, or daily if you can...its REALLY helped me and brought me peace in hours of despair.

Ive been thinking of you...I hope youre doing okey hun. :hug:

GOD BLESS YOU! :angel:

 
Bl00dyphynix...You are right...the prayer is lovely and very toutching.

Thank you so much for your caring and prayers.

God Bless you too.HUGS
 
And again i come here to say what is going on with my mother that i wish i could understand what this means,but i am not a doctor and only God knows how much i would love to be for now,so i could help my mother in a better way.
My mother made last week lots of analyses to her blood, and to her urine most of all.
The results came and from what i can tell,she has serious problems as she has blood in her urine,she has grahm positive(?) bacterias,high colesterol,and again blood pressure too high.
last night her blood pressure was 17.1/11.1
As i said,i have no idea what this really means,but i have a feeling telling me that it is not good at all.
Why i say so?well,i just look at my mother day by day,and something new is happening,or she is feeling bad and very tired without reason at all.
If only someone,a doctor could give answers to my questions...But either they don't know,or they don't want to tell me,so i won't feel in panic.What they don't know for sure,is that it would help me much more if i knew exactly what to expect.
Next week my mother will make a CT Scan to her thyroide...i'm scared already to get the results.Lately everything she does,turns out to be another problem to add to the ones she has already!
I'm so tired and frustrated!!!!I just wish i could end with all this somehow.
 
I wish I could say something else than hang in there. Your mother is fighting and you are doing the battle together with her.

Hang in there, Maria :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:
 
Mariajoaosilva said:
And again i come here to say what is going on with my mother that i wish i could understand what this means,but i am not a doctor and only God knows how much i would love to be for now,so i could help my mother in a better way.
My mother made last week lots of analyses to her blood, and to her urine most of all.
The results came and from what i can tell,she has serious problems as she has blood in her urine,she has grahm positive(?) bacterias,high colesterol,and again blood pressure too high.
last night her blood pressure was 17.1/11.1
As i said,i have no idea what this really means,but i have a feeling telling me that it is not good at all.
Why i say so?well,i just look at my mother day by day,and something new is happening,or she is feeling bad and very tired without reason at all.
If only someone,a doctor could give answers to my questions...But either they don't know,or they don't want to tell me,so i won't feel in panic.What they don't know for sure,is that it would help me much more if i knew exactly what to expect.
Next week my mother will make a CT Scan to her thyroide...i'm scared already to get the results.Lately everything she does,turns out to be another problem to add to the ones she has already!
I'm so tired and frustrated!!!!I just wish i could end with all this somehow.
Click to expand...

Okay Maria, here are the questions you should ask the doctor, and insist on answers to...

1.) What exactly is wrong with my mothers urine? Does she have a UTI - urinary tract infection? Why does she have blood in her urine?
2.) Why is my mother so tired?
3.) What is the status of my mothers aneurysm? IS it worse? How bad is it?
4.) What is wrong with my mothers thyroid? (Maria, your mothers thyroid may be underactive - which would explain her lack of energy. The thyroid gland is part of her metabolism. If it isn't working fully,. that would explain why she is tired.)

Please send me a PM when you get the answers to these questions - I can help you understand what is going on. Tell your doctor you are not a child, and that you are responsible for caring for your mother. You are her daughter, and you are entitled to know what is going on with your mother health wise.

I wish you luck. You may have to be pretty stubborn with your doctors, but you deserve to know IN LANGUAGE that YOU can understand, what the current status of the health of your mother is. Don't be afraid to tell the doctors you need to know, and you do not understand what they are telling you. Ask them to tell you about your mothers health in simpler terms, terms you can understand ok?

Believe me, I had to do this not only with my father when he had ventricular tachycardia - abnormally fast heart rate, but also with my auntie Marie - when she had a stroke. Doctors like to put things into their terms - and this information is so important for you to know as a caregiver to them. Doctors need to simplify their language, to make it simple and basic so that you can understand. And if the doctors cannot talk to you, ask her nurses. Nurses are there to communicate with family members too.....and they are better communicators, many times...

Good Luck! And please keep us posted okay?
 
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Yes, Maria. Linda is right. U got to insist on clear answers sometimes. When my Mom would talk to the doctors about my Dad's condition she would come out of the meeting no wiser then she was before she went in. She didn't know what questions to even ask sometimes. When they would answer her she wouldn't always understand what exactly they meant. She would tell me what they said and I would have to explain what they meant. This is your mother's life you are talking about. U need to tell your Mom's doctors that you want to know exactly what tests are run, why and that you want the results and you want the results explained to you.

Thanks Linda!
 
cass said:
Yes, Maria. Linda is right. U got to insist on clear answers sometimes. When my Mom would talk to the doctors about my Dad's condition she would come out of the meeting no wiser then she was before she went in. She didn't know what questions to even ask sometimes. When they would answer her she wouldn't always understand what exactly they meant. She would tell me what they said and I would have to explain what they meant. This is your mother's life you are talking about. U need to tell your Mom's doctors that you want to know exactly what tests are run, why and that you want the results and you want the results explained to you.

Thanks Linda!
Click to expand...

Thank you Cass. It is so frustrating dealing with doctors sometimes....that's why there are nurses to come in and even smooth over things that doctors will brusquely tell patients. I swear, some of them have absolutely no bedside manner...none in the slightest!!
 
Yes. No bedside manner. My Dad's doctor called my Mom over the phone to tell her that he was dying. The doctor told her that the chemo had worked, he said that his blood was good and that his sodium was normal BUT, he was dying! She was told that old age had caught up to hm and that the chemo had weakened his system so much that he was just going to die. Can you imagine hearing that news on the phone!
 
hi i just started reading some of your posts here Maria..and i also pray for you and your mother. and i want to thank you also because sooner or later all our mothers who are still with us will be in your mothers sitution and sick..maybe differenty but still the same part of aging and such. so you have been giving me some strengh for when that day comes for my mom one day. honestly if i was in your situation id probably get panic attacks everyday worried sick since i suffer from severe anxiety disorder. so thanks to all those who post inspiring messages. it was a great read for me. god bless.
 
mariemarie...i know that itis hard to find words for suituation like this.Still i aprreciate very much your words and thoughts,Thank you very very much.You might think that it's only words,but to me it's much more than that.


LindaC781...i printed your post to make sure i ask everything,and if there's something i remember,i will write it so i wont forget.
Thank you so much for being here for me and help me understand what i can't.
My mother will make a thiroide scan next thursday and only when i havethe resultsof that exam i can schedule an appoitment ro my doctor.
You are very right when you say that i need luck with doctors.Most of the times they act as if it was nothing going on,and i've lost control a few times already when my mom was on ICU and all i would hear was "she is stable now"
Fortunatellty,i have a famly doctor that is an amazing person.Sheis much more than a doctor to me.
She cares so much,and is so human,that even when she is in holydays,or sic,she calls and asks how is everything going.She gets up at 3 or 4 am if i call her because she knows that if i am calling it's because it is needed.
She is a bless in my life and when i have all the results to show her,i will ask her to tell me wwith simple words what all the results means.Hopefuly she will be able to explain me.
But linda...be sure i will PM you when i know something.
Thank you so so much for your support and care.It means a lot to more to me than words can say.

cass...You are so right my dear friend.sometimes we don't even know what to ask.This is why i think that not everybody should be a doctor.Being a doctor to me is much more that do tests and exams.Being a doctor to me means being able to be almost like priest.Has to be someone that knows how to listen,that cares about the patients and family,that tries to help and support the best way possible,thatis human,and understanding.
I could never be a doctor because i don't see a person in the hospital as a patient.I see as a human.I can't hide what i feel.
Doctors and nurses should learn how to be human i think.a Bit of human touch can help much more sometimes,than what they think.
And cass sweetie,i was never in your shoes...i have no idea how you and your mother were able to deal with such a news over the phone????
i think that if this happened to me,i would go crazzy for sure,and for the doctors safety,better that he/she is very far away from me.

Marilyn Monroe...I'm glad to know i can help you somehow.But let me tell you that my health is not perfect either.I'm under lots of suplements and multivitamines because like you,i have anxiety and i already ended up in the hospital 2 times this year with lack of air.
I think that when you are in a situation like this,you gain strenghs in places you have no idea that existed in you before.
I am always saying how tired and frustrated i am.How i want to end with everything,but when i see my mother with problems,i have no idea what happens to me,cause untill she gets better,i feel like i can do anything.I'm sure that if love your mother as i love mine,you will be able to do whatever.Unconditional love,gives us skills to deal with things we never imagined we could deal.
Thank you so much for your prayers and please take care of you.
 
Maria - this is just so tough for you and I just wanted you to know that I'm here to talk to. Just PM me if you have any other questions. I'd like to know why they are scanning her thyroid....? along with the other questions....if you can think of any more, by all means. I just listed stuff off the top of my head.
 
LindaC781 said:
Maria - this is just so tough for you and I just wanted you to know that I'm here to talk to. Just PM me if you have any other questions. I'd like to know why they are scanning her thyroid....? along with the other questions....if you can think of any more, by all means. I just listed stuff off the top of my head.
Click to expand...

Linda,thank you so so much for your concern and help.
I will PM you when i have a question or i feel the need to talk.
You know,i don't like to have the attentions all on me when there are here so many people with problems in here and besides that,all of you have an offline life as well.
But i want to thank you deeply for your support and care.
From what i understood,my mom needs a scan to her thyroid because the doctor thinks that some of the problems my mother has,can be because the thyroid is not working well.Be sure that when my mother has the results i will tell you what it is.
 
Just to make it clear. I was talking about the Doctor in the hospital where they were running tests and giving him the chemo. My Dad's family doctor was amazing. She came to see him 3 times a day when I was home for the 2 weeks before he died and she lives 25 miles from where we live. She came right away the night he died and stayed with the family until 3am! She was amazing. The total opposite of the doctors in the hospital who btw didn't communicate with her properly at all. She went above and beyond, she even came by my Mom's house one evening last week, just to check on her and make sure she was alright.

Good luck Maria. Try and be strong and know you CAN do this. It's hard but take it just day by day.. that is the best way to handle your situation... and you know when the going get's tough. we are here for you!
 
cass said:
Just to make it clear. I was talking about the Doctor in the hospital where they were running tests and giving him the chemo. My Dad's family doctor was amazing. She came to see him 3 times a day when I was home for the 2 weeks before he died and she lives 25 miles from where we live. She came right away the night he died and stayed with the family until 3am! She was amazing. The total opposite of the doctors in the hospital who btw didn't communicate with her properly at all. She went above and beyond, she even came by my Mom's house one evening last week, just to check on her and make sure she was alright.

Good luck Maria. Try and be strong and know you CAN do this. It's hard but take it just day by day.. that is the best way to handle your situation... and you know when the going get's tough. we are here for you!
Click to expand...

Cass my dear friend...Glad to know that you have a great family doctor and that she took care of you and your mother.You say i can deal with this...i say,i am living day by day and seeing what can i do.
I love you and admire you so much...I'm also here for you.Never forget it.HUGS
 
Mariajoaosilva said:
mariemarie...Your words touched me deep.Thank you so much for your love and support.
Yes i do all i can for my mother because she person i love the most in this world.I just i'm not sosure about the strengh you say i have,I feel so tired of all this you know?
Anyways...thank you so much for your prayers.HUGS

Carol...that is a question i do to myself all the time.How and why can't my family,my mom's family,not care about what is going on?Till today the only answer i have is that they are very selfish perople that only think and care of themselfs.i just pray that when my uncles and aunts need help from her daughters and sons,they don't do the same,as they are doing to my mother now.
If it is painfull for me,it is even more for my mother to see that her brothers and her sister don't care at all,unless my mom ends in ICU for some reason.
My mother was always a person to do everything for the family and now this what she is getting.If there's someone i know that dosen't deserve what is going through,is my mother.If i could do more...If i could take away all her pains...I beleive that they will realise that what they are doing to my mom is wrong,when my uncles and aunt need help,and my cousins will not care at all.I only fear it can be too late.

LindaC781...My friend...you know much better than me that my mother dosen't have much time alive.
Yes i beleive in miracles and i do have a lot of faith,but i keep being told to get ready...to prepare myself for the worst that can happen anytime.Her aneurisma is growing...
Thank you so much for your kind words.HUGS

Bl00dyphynix...You have no idea how much this thread is helping me dealing with my life.
For 2 and half years,i was dealing with this situation almost alone.(of course i had always supoport from my boyfriend,from my family doctor,and one or 2 friends,that are the ones that still are here for me as much as possible),but most of the times,i was keeping to myself all i'm going through.
I had to end up in the hospital myself to realise that i should find a way to open up,because this is a very hard burden to cary alone
.I always loved this forum very much.That is why i thought about this place,and i am very glad to realise that i have much more help and support than i was expecting.
This is why i want to thank you and everybody in here,for all the support,love and prayers.
Since i started this thread here,i don't feel that alone,and i know that i'll be listened.Thank you so so much to all of you from the bottom of my heart.

God Bless you all
Click to expand...

.............Wow,I really hope this people will wake-up one day in this!:yes:
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I would be like them:(:no:

 
Mariajoaosilva said:
You know,i don't like to have the attentions all on me when there are here so many people with problems in here and besides that,all of you have an offline life as well.
Click to expand...
Maria,

That's why you opened this thread so that you could tell us what's bothering you.
Please remember that we are all here for you if you wanna talk. we love you. :flowers:
 
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Carol...I have no idea if my family will wake up as you say.
But i do know,that when my mother dies,they will be the ones making a big drama and "in such a pain..."
I've seen this happen before so it will not suprise me at all.
Thank God i can't be like them and abandon my mother!
How they live with themselfs?good question,,,i have no idea and i don't want to know.The day i know how they make it,is the day i became like them.


sweet princess...thank you so much for your love.
If you want to know why i opened this thread,i can't give you a specific answer.I just was at a point that i needed to open up.I had no idea i would have this much help and support..All i wanted was to take this weight out of my chest.
Thank God,i found help,support,prayers and strengh,and i do think that if it wasn't all of you,i would have gone crazy a long time ago.

so thank you all so much for everything.
God bless you all.
 
Mariajoaosilva said:
sweet princess...thank you so much for your love.
If you want to know why i opened this thread,i can't give you a specific answer.I just was at a point that i needed to open up.I had no idea i would have this much help and support..All i wanted was to take this weight out of my chest.
Thank God,i found help,support,prayers and strengh,and i do think that if it wasn't all of you,i would have gone crazy a long time ago.
.
Click to expand...
You Are very welcome dear, Please keep us updated. :flowers:
 
The results of my mother exams came finally.
Now i have to wait to the appoitment of the family doctor and also of my mom's eyes that will be next monday,22nd ,at 2.30 pm.
I just hope i will not have bad news.
Thank you all,once again,for all the prayers,love and support.
 
:flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

My best wishes to you and your family
 
mariemarie...thank you so much for the wishes.hugs

LindaC781...My mother has lots of up and downs.So far i am waiting for the appoitments my mom has to her family doctor and also to the one that opererated her eye.
She has that appoitment next monday 22nd.She is very anxious and nervous because Christmas is next week and she is seeing worst and is scared to be loosing her view.
If i haven't pmed you still,is because unffortunately i don't have any news to say.
Thank you so much for your concern,my friend.
As soon as i have any news,i'll let you know.

MissyLedger...thank you so so much.your thoughts and prayers mean a lot more than words can say.HUGS
 
Thinking of you, Maria, and your mother over this Christmas period. I will add you to my Christmas prayers. How did your mother do yesterday as you mentioned an appointment. I hope you have some good news.
Lets hope that the New Year brings you some relief from your worries. Keep strong and take care of yourself.
Big hugs
 
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