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Hi my life is hell i want to die

JenAndMichaelForever

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Hi i read here a lot but join today to post how i feel.

i have loved michael for so long and really i feel devastated when he die in june. my heart break so many times and it so so hard for me. my real life is so horrible to. i working in real low pay job. the love of my life live in whole other country and i never get see him. it is not acceptable in my country that me and him should be together so it wil never hapen and i hurt inside so much. i have nothing good in my life now and i want die.

i saw this is it at movie theater one week ago and love it so much and love seeing michael again. he so was beautiful and my heart ache so much at thought of him been gone. i hurt so bad and want to be with him. it wil never get better for me. i cant get on with my own life because it is real bad here and i cant find to be happy ever. it can not hapen.

i need michael so much.
 
Hey,
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. We all know how you feel. Even though it's hard going on without Michael, we need to make sure we now carry on Michael's legacy and continue spreading his message. It may seem impossible right now, but you won't feel like this forever. I'm not saying you'll ever stop missing him, but as hard as it is, life goes on. You're not alone though, we all feel the same. It's hard imagining life without Michael here, but we need to carry on, for him. He'll live forever in our hearts. :)

If you ever want to talk anymore, you can PM me. :)
 
JenAndMichaelForever said:
Hi i read here a lot but join today to post how i feel.

i have loved michael for so long and really i feel devastated when he die in june. my heart break so many times and it so so hard for me. my real life is so horrible to. i working in real low pay job. the love of my life live in whole other country and i never get see him. it is not acceptable in my country that me and him should be together so it wil never hapen and i hurt inside so much. i have nothing good in my life now and i want die.

i saw this is it at movie theater one week ago and love it so much and love seeing michael again. he so was beautiful and my heart ache so much at thought of him been gone. i hurt so bad and want to be with him. it wil never get better for me. i cant get on with my own life because it is real bad here and i cant find to be happy ever. it can not hapen.

i need michael so much.
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I miss him, too, very, very much. I know it's hard to believe it, but bad situations ARE temporary, and relief CAN happen. But by LIVING. Please keep talking to us here, and maybe we can help you figure things out? Are you a young person? Then you have many chances and ways for your life to change for the better. I know it's hard to see through the darkness sometimes, but things CAN get better.

There is a lot of love here. That is worth something? It's POSITIVE. Just keep talking to us. Share your pain if you want. We can handle it. We will all stick together and get through this, ok?

hugs,

Vic
 
I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Many of us understand how you feel. Please stay and keep talking to us. There are so many wonderful people here like Louise and Victoria above, and it certainly can get better. I personally have begun feeling a little better... baby steps, but now I see that the black clouds of grief can part and a ray of sunshine will peak through, eventually.

Also I hope you find a way to be with the love of your life someway, somehow. When I first started dating my now-husband, it wasn't accepted by everyone because we have an age difference and are different religions, but ultimately it worked out. Hopefully love will find a way for you.

L.O.V.E. to you and everyone else on this forum who is hurting. I saw TII again today and just want to share as much love with you guys as I can. Michael's love definitely lives on in all of us.
 
Oh, please come back and talk to us. There's so many wonderful people on this forum who will always help when you feel down. And I urge you to keep talking to us, because although we can only offer support and advice about other things going on in your life, we call all well an truly understand what you are going through with regards to Michael.

Every single one of us. You aren't alone - we all miss him, and love him and at some stage a lot of us have wondered...how does life go on without him in this world. But as someone said, living is the answer. As long as you hold Michael in your heart, he will always be there. We do need to continue spreading his message - and we need you to help do that.

Please know that there are so many people on here willing to offer you support. I know it's hard, it's very hard. And some days it feels like it's too much. But it does get easier when you have this type of support network around you.

We're all here for each other, and together we will never let Michael's spirit fade :)
 
JenAndMichaelForever said:
i need michael so much.
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Hi Jenandmichaelforever................I wanted to just pull out this one thing you said. You must realize as much as you need Michael, there are SO MANY that need you in the same way or more. Don't you go anywhere, the people in your life need you.......love you. We, here, need you and love you too!
 
I am so sorry you feel like this. I miss him too. I want to tell you to keep talking on here, share your feelings. I promise things will get better in time. You can be happy, don't give up on that. What country are you in? Do you have any family or friends that you are able to talk to about how you feel?
 
JenAndMichaelForever said:
Hi i read here a lot but join today to post how i feel.

i have loved michael for so long and really i feel devastated when he die in june. my heart break so many times and it so so hard for me. my real life is so horrible to. i working in real low pay job. the love of my life live in whole other country and i never get see him. it is not acceptable in my country that me and him should be together so it wil never hapen and i hurt inside so much. i have nothing good in my life now and i want die.

i saw this is it at movie theater one week ago and love it so much and love seeing michael again. he so was beautiful and my heart ache so much at thought of him been gone. i hurt so bad and want to be with him. it wil never get better for me. i cant get on with my own life because it is real bad here and i cant find to be happy ever. it can not hapen.

i need michael so much.
Click to expand...

Hi Jen, thanks for joining MJJC and talking to us, it is greatly appreciated. We are all here for you and we always will be :)

First, and I know you may have heard this from many others, but ending life really isn't the answer. It is a unreversable solution to a problem that can fade away as life goes on. You still have so much to live for. Im sure you have great friends who watch your back. Soon, you will get that job you have always wanted and you will find true love. I know it wont happen overnight, but just wait, wait and add a little patience into the mix and soon enough you will realise there is a lot more in the future of your life.

As mean as this may sound, you posting here with your doubts and problems shows there is still a part that wants to shine inside you for years to come. Lets face it. If you really wanted to and you couldn't find a way out, you would have done it by now, right? Staying here for that extra bit longer to consider your actions is one of the greatest things to do in your situation. Sit down, listen to some relaxing music and think of your possiblilites and prospects. There is never a problem too big that can't be solved.

What about tomorrow? Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Leaving your body today is so drastic. Maybe something magical will happen tomorrow? There is always a good in waiting for your perfect opportunity to live life to the fullest. Maybe a new job opportunity will arise for you tomorrow, or soon. Won't you regret acting on your feelings before you get a chance to turn things around?

Go to someone you love. A dear friend or maybe a family member. They will know you very well. Your mannerisms, personality and wether what you are thinking is really you. So let me guess, you want to be relieved of your pain and struggles, and end life? Bear in mind, being dead has no feeling and no physical presence, You are looking for a relief that only life can give you, you just need to find it.

Finally, you could consider doing what some of us do, both on MJJC and in real life. Helping others. I understand that with many of them you are in the same boat but you get a certain sense of gratitude, love and meaning when you help a friend or a total stranger with their problems. You CAN and WILL find hapiness. You just need the strength, will power and great support to help find it.

Thanks for reading this and I hope you chose whats best for you. If you ever need to contact me about anything, I'm only a PM away :)
 
Honey, I'm so sorry life is so tough for you right now. :( Michael's passing has hit us all hard, and it really can feel so hopeless at times. I know it's hard but we have to take from Michael in that he had this incredible ability to see the positives in even the most devastating situations. He had the strength to pull through, and I know he's looking down on us from wherever he is willing us on to do some good in this world. Please always have hope that things will get better. From personal experience I found that I had to hit rock bottom to really feel determined to make my life into something I could be proud of. Live for you, nobody else. Thing will get better, and in the meantime keep talking to us, we can and want to help you through this. Sending you lots of love and hugs. PM me or any of us anytime you need to talk ok?
 
All I can do is offer love and understanding. Life has changed forever, this is true, our icon of hope has been taken from us. But like others say, we must now become the hope ourselves and try to carry on for him and his legacy. The hurt is still strong, I cry pretty much every night alone in my bedroom, dying in order to be with him again, and free from a world so cruel does seem like an alluring option. But Michael would not wish for us to hurt ourselves, he would want us to just love each other, help each other through the tough times and embrace the better ones.

Lets all unite for his sake.

Love to all who hurt x
 
Promise me you dont commit suicide or something.. look at michael.mania :cry:
I dont want it to happen to you like her.. please! ..
 
Please let us know you are ok
Life is though but we can get through this all together so stay with us and talk about whatever you want.
Send PM's if you want to talk privatly we're here for you.
 
Welcome to the board JenAndMichaelForever.

Please stay with us. We welcome all new members here and if they are in trouble or emotional distress then we're here for you. You don't need to go through this alone.

All my contact details are in my siggy. Please use them.

T.O.Y.
 
Please stay here
Do not harm yourself please
Life is hard but not only your life...my life is :( too you know
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Please stay with US
 
Im so sorry for how your feeling! I pray for everyones hearts to heal! Its so hard with him gone! But we all have to start to move on with our lives, taking it day by day! Thinking of you all -Hugs x
 
Hunny we all have an empty space here in our hearts since Michael's passing. He means the world to us and we all understand the pain you are feeling. But remember we are all here to help and love each other. This is the place where you can express your pain and be supported by friends that share your pain. This is such a wonderful community to be a part of as we're all here to support you. Remember our beloved Michael went through such hell in his life but he never gave up, ever. He battled and fought constantly but he never gave up. Please PM me if you want to talk privately :hug:
 
i feel like i want to die now but you people wow i love you im a little drunk and depressed but you people i love you. this is the worst time year of my life but you people help me so much i love you!!.
 
JenAndMichaelForever - If you are reading this. PLEASE post, talk to us, even if you can't find the right words, don't worry, just post something let us know how you are doing. xxxxx
 
Yes Jen PLEASE post just to let us know you are still here! Im worried about you :cries:

E-smooth said:
i feel like i want to die now but you people wow i love you im a little drunk and depressed but you people i love you. this is the worst time year of my life but you people help me so much i love you!!.
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MJstarlight said:
I hurt so much I really do..... why did this happen :cry:
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Are you two okay? Please talk to me if you aren't, I'm a PM away ;)

:heart:
 
i hate my life thank you all for your suport but it never can be enough for me.my life here is bad and it cant not get better. really. i know this is horible to say but when i read that michael.mania has passed away i felt a bit jealous. because she now is with michael or at lesat i like to think so. she dont have to worry about lifes ups and downs any more. and for that i envy her even if that is a real bad thing to say at this time.im sorry.
 
JenAndMichaelForever said:
i hate my life thank you all for your suport but it never can be enough for me.my life here is bad and it cant not get better. really. i know this is horible to say but when i read that michael.mania has passed away i felt a bit jealous. because she now is with michael or at lesat i like to think so. she dont have to worry about lifes ups and downs any more. and for that i envy her even if that is a real bad thing to say at this time.im sorry.
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Jen :hug: im glad you are still with us.

Is there NOTHING you can do, be it here or on your own to bring even temporary hapiness? Maybe something that can help relax you for a moment? Listening to calm music? Chatting to members here? We really want you to stay because you have a great chance to enjoy your life, you are a special soul and id hate to see it wasted :cries:

:heart:
 
JenAndMichaelForever said:
i hate my life thank you all for your suport but it never can be enough for me.my life here is bad and it cant not get better. really. i know this is horible to say but when i read that michael.mania has passed away i felt a bit jealous. because she now is with michael or at lesat i like to think so. she dont have to worry about lifes ups and downs any more. and for that i envy her even if that is a real bad thing to say at this time.im sorry.
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thanks for saying this. i absolutely felt the same when i read this and the posts afterwards.
we all can understand ur pain. believe me im feeling the same right now.
try to be strong :(
 
JenAndMichaelForever said:
i hate my life thank you all for your suport but it never can be enough for me.my life here is bad and it cant not get better. really. i know this is horible to say but when i read that michael.mania has passed away i felt a bit jealous. because she now is with michael or at lesat i like to think so. she dont have to worry about lifes ups and downs any more. and for that i envy her even if that is a real bad thing to say at this time.im sorry.
Click to expand...

aww :hug:
 
JenAndMichaelForever said:
i hate my life thank you all for your suport but it never can be enough for me.my life here is bad and it cant not get better. really. i know this is horible to say but when i read that michael.mania has passed away i felt a bit jealous. because she now is with michael or at lesat i like to think so. she dont have to worry about lifes ups and downs any more. and for that i envy her even if that is a real bad thing to say at this time.im sorry.
Click to expand...

I was you a few years ago. I was so depressed & my close friends had turned their backs on me. I overdosed end of 2006 but nothing happened so I tried the next morning & nothing. That night I went to NYE fireworks & had a great night.
It wasn't till 3 months later when the pills I had taken took affect causing me to black out in friends car & being dashed to hospital. After many bloodtests it was confirmed that I had blood poisoning so from March 07- August this year I had blood transfusions during this time I was weak & wanted to give up but June 07 I became a nanny to 2 children that has now changed to 17 children & 9 babies who have helped so much in my recovery not mention different churches.
What if I had died in 06 I wouldn't have met amazing families who I nanny for, met my amazing boyfriend who adopted 5 children this year. I would have missed out on so much.

I met Michael back in 96 & we chatted for about 5mins maybe longer. My friend who was in hospital because of abuse of her step-father said to Michael "I want to die". She was only 10. Michael told her "No you don't because there is so much more of the world to see & he shed a tear. I never told anyone that before but thought this is the moment to because it might you think.

My friend lost her mother when she was 7 & lived with her step father till she was 13. She was sexually abused & beaten & that was the only time I heard her say I want to die. She never gave up. She was murdered by her step father in 99.
 
I have lost about 50 friends & family since 98 from Suicide,murder & illness but it makes you stronger. Most of the deaths I couldn't talk about because no one would understand. I had a friend in Sept 11th but no one at school here in Aus cared because they thought it was just a US thing. I spoke to Heath Ledger for a month & spoke to him about 4 days before he died. I had no one talk to but thanks to this forum we can talk about Michael :)
It may seem the world is falling apart but it's not. It may not make sense why things happen.
Suicide is a easy escape. It doesn't solve anything sure you may no longer be here but then there's your family & friends who love & care about.
Suicide is not worth it nor is it the answer.
 
It is a nightmare for all of us but time will heal it, I promise.

Life is still so beautiful with its little moments of bliss/happiness/excitment, even if they last just for a few seconds! Like when you suddenly look up and you see the moon just GLOWING down or you are walking down the street and you hear little children laughing, remember those times?

Things will get better. Although Michael is gone from Earth, I believe he continues in spirit and is watching over us. :wub:

His legacy will continue and many exciting things will happen.

Keep the faith.
L.O.V.E.
 
Please, everyone, realize that the entire Support Forum really IS closing. Outside date is this coming Wednesday, but it could be as soon as Monday. Some posters here are organizing a Facebook page, for comfort and support. The FB will not be MJJC affiliated, but would be a way for those who choose to, to continue conversations. If anyone here has expertise setting up FB, please assist with this. The thread is here:

http://www.mjjcommunity.com/forum/sh...ad.php?t=81534

Please do this asap if you want to continue to offer support in a group/conversation setting. Once the Support Forum is taken down, it would be much harder to assemble a group, so I hope those who wish to continue conversations will do this, SOON. Thanks.

love,

Vic
 
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